Guilt ( A RagSan FF) Chapter 44

“Sanskar I… I….” Ragini struggled to say when she was taken on stretcher and Sanskar was walking beside her holding her hand. He was not able to speak anything. His breath was stuck in the lung it self. “We will speak about it later please relax Ragini” he pleaded with difficulty. “I don’t know Sanskar, I feel I will not survive” said Ragini and tear dropped from her eyes. Her hand slipped from his hand and she was taken inside the operation theater. As her stretcher disappeared he collapsed on the floor and looked at the direction with open eyes.

“She wants to talk to you” said the doctor coming out of the theater. Sanskar’s hands started shivering. Pari’s condition flashed in his mind and his vision became blank for a second. Doctor shook him bringing out of his trance. “I can understand Mr. Maheshwari but we could not do anything. She has very less time” said the doctor. “Please doctor please do something” said Sanskar falling on his feet folding his hands. The doctor jerked and made him to stand holding his shoulders. “I’m really sorry Mr. Maheshwari. But it is not in our hands anymore. Please talk to her. She has very less time left.” said the doctor and it stopped his heart beat. He stumbled and stood with the support of the wall. He ran inside the operation theater and stood near her bed stumbling. Tears were uncontrollably flowing from his eyes

Betahasha dil ne……… tujhko hi chaha hai………………..
Har dua me maine……….. tujhko hi manga hai…………….
Tera jaana jaise koi baddua…….Tera jaana jaise koi baddua…….

Dur javoge jo tum………… Mar jayenge hum………………
Sanam teri kasam…………. Sanam teri kasam………………………….

Ragini was lying on the bed with a support of ventilator and her hands were pierced with needles. It looked like Sanskar was experiencing more pain than her. Her eyes were faintly open and tears dropped when she saw Sanskar approaching her.
Tumhe dekhte hi aankhe ho jati nam
He neared her and sat near her. Ragini moved her hand and her fingers touched his skin and Sanskar took a lump of breath as if he was holding his breath from a long time. And hot tears flew from his eyes as he felt life. Ragini removed the oxygen mask and signed him to come near her. He neared her face with difficulty. She lifted her head a bit and kissed his cheek and Sanskar’s eyes shrank with pain and he sat on the chair with a thud and bent his head to the bed and cried bitterly. She stroked his hair and he lifted his head and neared her and placed his head near her bosom and started crying like a small kid. “San…. Sanki I have to go. Last hug” said Ragini breathing heavily. “No…no…. don’t go please” said Sanskar pleading her and his voice cracked and throat pained. “I….. I have to…. Please let me go. See it happened like I said. I had told you na I will die before loving you. I did not know God will fulfil my this wish” said Ragini caressing his cheek. He tightened his grip on her shoulder and sobbed. “No…no…. I won’t let you go…” said Sanskar. “Please sanki….don’t make it difficult for me please let me go” she pleaded him in cracking voice. “No…. no….. Please listen to me once only once please. I can’t…..

can’t live without you”said Sanskar dragging her more close. Ragini started struggling to breath. He tightened his grip and closed his eyes tightly not letting her…
But how will you hold the soul. Ragini took a last breath and stopped breathing. And Sanskar’s world stopped there. He looked up at her lifeless face which was filled with tears

Door javoge tum to mar jayenge hum
“Ragini…………………….” screamed Sanskar.
“Sanskar what happened?” asked Ragini who came running to the room as she heard his scream. Sanskar was sitting on his bed stretching his one hand and looking blankly and his face brimmed with tears and sweat.

“Sanskar” said Ragini shaking him as she was not able to see his state. She placed her left hand on his cheek and shook him. Sanskar took really long time to realize that he was dreaming. He turned and found Ragini looking at him painfully. His heart was thumping fast. He felt his life came back just then and held her hand and dragged her and placed his lips on her lips closing his eyes and tears flew from his eyes. Ragini who was looking at him worried jerked due to his sudden action and held his face. “Don’t leave me… Don’t please” said Sanskar pleading her after few seconds touching her forehead with his forehead and clutching her face tightly. Ragini was not able to understand his state. She was hell worried. “Please Ragini I can’t live without you” said Sanskar crying bitterly. Ragini kissed him to stop his sobs. “I will not go anywhere Sanskar. I will not. Why are you saying like this?” she asked painfully looking at him. “I saw you are going away from me. It was so scary. I… I couldn’t hold you” said Sanskar and looked at her painfully. “Shhhh” said Ragini stopping his sobs. She kissed his forehead closing her eyes.

She dragged him and placed his head on her lap and started patting his head and tried consoling him. She held his hand in her hand. He was shivering uncontrollably.
“I will not let you suffer more Sanskar. I will not. I will love you so much you will come out of your suffering. I will bring you out of it” she said and looked up and tears flew from her eyes. She leaned to his head and kissed his hair and placed her cheek on his cheek. She felt Sanskar’s hand stopped shivering. She smiled through her tears.
“It’s just normal fever Bandariya. I will be fine” said Sanskar looking at Ragini when they were sitting in front of Dr. Sakshi who was enjoying their cute fights. “You just keep quite. Finger on your lips” said Ragini glaring him. Sanskar complied and sat like a small kid. Sakshi smiled widely looking at them. She rang the bell and called the ward boy. “Shyam.. Please take him to ward and tell Dr. Anirudh to inject him one bottle of saline. I will come” said Sakshi. “But” said Sanskar. Ragini glared him and he went with the ward boy pouting sadly.

“Seriously how do you manage him?” asked Sakshi smiling and nodding her head. “Ahh this is just trial. He is worst than our two kids” said Ragini nodding her head. Sakshi who was drinking water choked and looked at her shocked. “What happened doctor?” asked Ragini worried. “No I was just shocked. You seriously don’t look like mother of two kids. In fact you both don’t look so old to have two kids” said Sakshi relaxing. “Wo actually they are Sanskar’s elder brother’s kids. He and his wife left the world and for us they are only our kids.

I can’t conceive” said Ragini sad. “Oh I’m so sorry Ragini I did not knew all this. I’m really sorry” said Sakshi placing her hand on Ragini’s hand. “That’s okay doctor” said Ragini smiling weakly. “See the next things I will ask; you have to answer carefully. It’s about Sanskar’s health” said Sakshi with serious face and Ragini nodded her head and listened. “He is mentally suffering a lot Ragini. I feel something is bothering him. If you pressurize him he might refuse to say, instead just try to cheer him always and take special care of him” said Sakshi and Ragini nodded her head looking at her.
“Where are you taking me bandariya” asked Sanskar as Ragini was taking him with her and she had closed his eyes with her hands. “Ohho Sanki have patience” said Ragini.
She removed her hands which were covering his eyes. Sanskar opened his eyes slowly and looked at the scenario in front of him. There was walkaway made of rose petals which led to a small hut kind of arrangement and a table below it which was decorated with a candles and rose petals. He smiled and his heart fluttered with joy. He looked at his right but did not find Ragini. “Ragini” he called and looked around and found no one.
“Some say life’s greatest happiness is falling in love” he heard Ragini’s voice.
“But there is something which is more blissful than that” she came walking from a side wearing a black long gown with pearl necklace and earring. And her hair was tied in a messy bun.
“Do you know what it is?” asked Ragini holding his right hand. He looked at her hand and then at her and nodded his head in no.
“Loving someone madly beyond limits” said Ragini and bent on her knees shocking Sanskar.

“Tho Mr. Sanskar Maheshwari will you bless me to have this pleasure of loving you beyond all the limits in the world?” asked Ragini and kissed his forehand. Sanskar was shocked to grasp anything. “Ohho tubelight Maheshwari how much time you take. Even girls don’t take so much time to reply” said Ragini annoyed when Sanskar was still shocked to grasp anything. He nodded his head smiling through his tears. Ragini stood straight and wiped his tears and placed her head on his chest and hugged him encircling her hands around his stomach.
“Thank you” said Ragini. “For what?” asked Sanskar. “For loving me so much” said Ragini dragging him more close to her.

“Come” said Ragini forwarding her hand so that he can hold it. Sanskar smiled and held her hand and walked with her to the table. She pulled the chair for him to sit. Sanskar looked at her and raised his eyebrows signing impressive. Then Ragini sat on her chair and served the food in one plate. “Why one plate?” asked Sanskar. “Maa says if husband and wife eat in same plate their love increases” said Ragini blushing. He dragged her holding her hand near to him. “Still how much love you want to increase ha?” he asked kissing her ear. She closed her eyes blushing. “Now have food” said she getting out of his hold. She forwarded the first byte to him. And he fed her the next byte
“Now what Mrs. Maheshwari” said Sanskar dragging her near to him. “Wait” said Ragini getting out of his hold.
Suddenly he heard a music
“Mai tenu samjhava ki…” Ragini started singing and approached him.
“Mai tenu samjahva ki”
“Ki tere bina nai lagda jee” she walked across him
Tu ki jaane pyar mera….
She held his hand and placed it on her shoulder and his other hand across her waist. She placed her both hands on his chest
Mai karu intezar tera….

She leaned to his chest and placed her head parallel to his thumping heart
Tu dil tui-yon jaan meri
Sanskar cupped her face as the music faded
She smiled with her twinkling eyes closing them as Sanskar kissed her forehead. He hugged her and closed his eyes feeling the romantic breeze.
“Thank you for coming in my life. For making it worth living” said Sanskar. Ragini dragged him close to her.
“Please na Sanskar. Don’t go to office today” said Ragini pleading him hugging from his back. “Why is my baby not letting me go to office today?” asked Sanskar holding her hands and touching her head with his head. “Aivey… No mood to send you anywhere today” said Ragini pouting. “But what will I do sitting at home?” asked Sanskar. “You don’t take that tension” said Ragini and kissed his cheek and he smiled. Each kiss of her had love and only love which used to make him blush every time. She rushed out of the room smiling.
“What is this?” asked Sanskar. “This is obviously called two wheeler. Is it looking like a jet plane?” asked Ragini surprised. “I did not mean that Bandariya.” said Sanskar glaring her. “Don’t waste time Sanki. Just sit on it and start driving” she ordered him. After much compulsion he sat on it and started the bike. Ragini sat behind him and hugged him. “I’m seriously scared Ragini” said Sanskar gulping as he drove it on a hilly road. Ragini held his hands and supported him. “When I’m there why are you scared Sanskar. I will always be with you” said Ragini placing her chin on his shoulder. He smiled looking at her and continued driving.
“Where have we come?” asked Sanskar confused. “This is the most beautiful place of Mumbai Sanki. Haven’t you come here?” asked Ragini. He nodded his head. “Such opportunity you missed all your life idiot Maheshwari” said Ragini hitting his head playfully. “Come will sit there” said Ragini showing a bench. He complied and followed her. As they sat on the bench Ragini placed her head on his chest and Sanskar placed his hand around her shoulder.

“Sanskar if I ask you something will you tell me?” asked Ragini looking at the sky. “Hmmm” said Sanskar. “Why can’t you share your pain the way you share your happiness. Why always you suffer keeping it within you?” asked Ragini. He tightened his grip.
“This suffering is like addiction Ragini. Once you start suffering you can’t get over it easily and it is so bad that you don’t want to share it with anyone” said Sanskar. “But sharing reduces the burden” said Ragini. “What if the other can’t tolerate the burden?” asked Sanskar. “Hmmm then you have to carry it alone. Does that mean I cannot carry the burden of your sorrows?” asked Ragini. “I don’t have any such pain at all?” said Sanskar casually. “Are you sure?” asked Ragini looking up at him.

“Until you are with me. I don’t have any pain in my life” said Sanskar and hugged her.
“Hey see see” said Ragini showing the sky. Sanskar looked forward. “Setting sun” said Ragini smiling widely. “Beautiful na?” asked Ragini and he looked at her face which was gleaming with sunlight. “Hmmm true” Ragini looked at him and found him staring her. “Ohho Sanki there” said Ragini turning his face towards the sun. “Why do people always enjoy the setting sun?” asked Sanskar. “Because it gives us a hope that it will rise again soon” said Ragini placing her head on his shoulder. “How will you be sure about it” asked Sanskar. “As I’m sure I will inhale the next breath” said Ragini. “Tomorrow may be unpredictable Sanskar but tomorrow will be there always. You might fail today but tomorrow you should not stop trying. Be stubborn don’t avoid your problems. Face them with courage. And most important thing trust the person you love” said she hugging him more tightly. Sanskar smiled grasping her words and enjoyed the moment with Ragini.

“Thank you maa” said Ragini taking Ananya from Anu as she came back home. Ananya smiled and hugged Ragini. Ragini fed her food and patted her head and placed her on the bed as she slept. “Ansh bacha” called Ragini and Ansh ran to his room. She patted his head and shoulder and he dozed off. She kissed his forehead and Ananya’s forehead and headed to her room.
As soon as she entered her room she saw Sanskar sleeping innocently. Today there were no wrinkles on his forehead. He was really peacefully sleeping, the peace he was craving from years. She caressed his forehead and kissed it and lied on her part of bed.

Sanskar turned in his sleep and his eyebrows were shrunk. She stroked his hair and his eyebrows shaped back to normal. Her touch filled with love was enough for him to heal his wounded soul. He always used to forget his pain when she was around. He did not wanted anything more. Just her presence. Just her presence in his life.
For the starting scenes I gave all the credit to my over emotional cousin who forced me to watch that scene in the movie. I usually avoid such movies but due to her I watched it. I hope you liked it. Sorry for those dialogues I watched the scene with mute and did not listen to the dialogues so added my own lines. And I will try to update one chappy tomorrow otherwise Saturday for sure.

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  1. Sindhura

    Today i felt easy by knewing that its dream

    1. Sally_blr

      And I was waiting for your comment because you will be the most happy person after reading this. Thank you Sindhu.

  2. Omg! Dream? scared
    Superb part

    1. Sally_blr

      Thank you so much lovely. I’m so glad that it touched your heart

    1. Sally_blr

      Thank you dear

  3. Ragz_teju

    omg!! though it is a dream it is very emotional… ragsan light moments are cute… superb chappy.. loved it so much dear

    1. Sally_blr

      Thank you Ragzee. Glad the emotion touched you

  4. Yaar……..initially its vry horrible…..??????…….bt after reading…..its like hillaroiua…..??????

    1. Sally_blr

      Thank you so much Shailu. Glad that you got involved in the story

  5. Getting addicted to your ff… Awesome as always

    1. Sally_blr

      Thank you Jaanvi.

  6. no plzz update tomorrow loved it plzz u are awesome writer next part soon don’t be late be regular I am not able to wait plzzx

    1. Sally_blr

      Thank you nikky

    1. Sally_blr

      Thank you dear

  7. Rasha

    By reading itself i thought will be a dream coz by last chappy itself u told she is not conceiving then how come now by starting itself u will start will her delivery.. I doubt that sanskar is behind in her conceiving issue. but only today i didnot feel emotional full of happy & somewhere is was smiling also.. fabulous dear.

    1. Sally_blr

      Thank you Rasha as you observe my story keenly. Your doubts will be cleared soon.

  8. thank god that is just a dream.ragsan scenes are awesome they love each other madly.loved it

    1. Sally_blr

      Thank you Ammy. Glad you got involved in it

  9. Amazing. I just have no words. Truly they are mad for eachother.

    1. Sally_blr

      Thank you Jaan. Yup they are dear

  10. U scared me like hell…. damn shocking…. but after dat I calm down reading further….Amazing upload

    1. Sally_blr

      Thank you tani. Glad that it touched your emotions

  11. Asw

    Asusal ur rocking yaar in the dream sequence Ragini death is illness R her pregnancy when boys only purpose in the tent setup & dance here Ragini is doing this so cute keep going

    1. Sally_blr

      Thank you dear. Yup this is kind of different glad you liked it

  12. At beginning I’m scared but after I thought it will be dream,thank god it’s dreams
    It’s soo sweet amazing marvelous and awesome.
    I don’t know Hindi so I can’t understand that lyrics and movie.sorry for that
    I’m eagerly waiting for next part

    1. Sally_blr

      Thank you so much abi. Glad that it touched your emotions dear

  13. Hush! It was a dream I got scared And the remaining part was awesome Post the next episode soon

    1. Sally_blr

      Hush! Ya it was a dream. Thank you Radhu.

  14. Awesome and I really got scared by reading that dream part

    1. Sally_blr

      Thank you so much dear I’m really glad that you got involved in the story

  15. Asra

    Sally I really got scared dear….omg that dream I really thought it’s real bcz u told that incident in ur promo na….After reading further story that time only I got relaxed…u scared me Sally…omg both ragsan r hiding their pains from each other…They r really mad for each other….sakshi hospital scenes superbbb dear…omg sakshi reaction after know about their children superbbb yar….Sanky dumbo what r u doing?in ur life all s going in ulda….In everyone life boy propose and arrange dinner..but in ur all in ulda…Our ragini propose u and arrange a dinner for u…and she only asked for dance….omg really loved it alot…and I loved one of ur dialogue dear…
    “Tomorrow may be unpredictable but tomorrow will be there always. You might fail today but tomorrow you should not stop trying. Be stubborn don’t avoid your problems. Face them with courage. And most important thing trust the person you love” i love thz dialogue very much Sally…. ragsan r soo cute…..loved them….and thanks to ur cousin also dear….love u dear…tkcr Sally dear….

    1. Sally_blr

      See his life is only ulta bechara Sanki. Awww Asru glad you liked that line. It took me half an hour to think about it and pen it down. Love you chellame

  16. ?I stopped to breathe for a moment after reading the beginning. It took a minute to come out of it and think it as a dream. As it was in promo, I really didn’t expect it to be a dream. U gave a very big shock. Not just one shock. This full episode was shocking. Why can’t she became pregnant? Rag proposing Sanky. Every girl’s dream to be proposed by someone like this. But here she proposed him. The best proposal yaar. The way you said abt Ragu’s presence is the only medicine for his wounded soul was awesome. Their lovely moments was superb. Take care dr. I’m eagerly waiting for Casanova Dr. I don’t know why I’m reading that ff daily. Update it whenever it’s possible for you

    1. Sally_blr

      Awww and you comment stopped my breath. I’m really sorry but it was required for the next chapter and to understand Sanky’s pain. Actually that was the climax I thought but I just wanted to reduce the intensity of the climax a bit so brought it as a dream as I had mentioned it in Promo I was not finding place to fit it. Ya we always think about girls dreams but we never think about what our partner thinks and surprising them rather shocking them. It was necessary for Sanskar. I will update it tomorrow dear. I couldn’t get out of this mood only finally there is break coming in so I can concentrate on other stories now.

  17. 1st hospital scene was really a nightmare thank god it was just a dream
    anyways love ur ff waiting for ragini conceiving mystery

    1. Sally_blr

      Thank you lisa. Glad that you got involved in the story so much. Your doubts will clear soon.

  18. A.xx

    yar loved it xx

    1. Sally_blr

      Thank you dear

  19. Berdilla

    Awesome dear i loved it so much dear thank you for wonderful ff dear i am eagerly waiting for another ff’s dear friend

  20. Jazzy

    amazing chapter dear sry i m late this time and ur chappy was tooo bad in starting i just almost got heartattack u know agar essa ho jata na toh meri degree koon complete karta haaba agli sab shock kaam dena kyunki i know bina diye toh aap reh nahi sakte

  21. Hafsana

    When ragini stopped breathing we all stopped breathing for a second.u are so talented dear.amazingly beautifull fanfiction.loved each and every bit of ur ff..lots of love to u dear<3

  22. Hemalattha

    You just made me cried for that first scene. I really sad and confused too. How will ragini can die? Awesome. Lovely part. Continue.

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