Guilt ( A RagSan FF) Chapter 36


“Chachu” said Ansh sitting beside Sanskar on his bed. Sanskar picked him in his arms and made him sit on his lap. “Why did you let her go when you can’t even live without her for one hour also” said Ansh encircling his little hands across Sanskar’s neck. Sanskar smiled and touched Ansh’s cheek. “Sometimes we cannot control our life Ansh. We have to obey to the time” said Sanskar. “Means?” asked Ansh. “Means your mumma is like a innocent sunlight of a winter morning. Everyone needs her. I cannot always tie her to myself” said Sanskar looking at the window. “Take this” said Ansh forwarding Anapurna’s phone. “Why is this for?” asked Sanskar confused. “Arrey mere duffer chachu” said Ansh unlocking Anu’s phone and showing something. Sanskar’s eyes gleamed with happiness. It was Ragini’s photo with Ananya in her wedding dress. They did not had a normal wedding though. How much he wished to capture her beautiful face that day but he couldn’t. Ansh had clicked the photo after Ragini’s grah pravesh with Annapurna’s phone. Sanskar grabbed the phone and kissed Ansh’s cheek. “Ansh come on sleeping time” called Anu. “Aaya dadi” screeched Ansh and ran out of Sanskar’s room. Sanskar caressed Ragini’s face. Her twinkling eyes, beautiful smile made his heart jump with happiness. He neared the window looking at the sky.

Sanskar looked at the sky and felt Ragini’s presence and smiled

Un Paarvai Pothum Vaanam Mele
Nilavu Thaevai Illai
(Your appearance is enough sky doesn’t need the moon)

He remembered Ragini’s fragrance taking a deep breath closing his eyes
Un Vaasam Pothum Bhoomi Engum
Pookal Thaevai Illai
(Your fragrance is enough the world doesn’t need flowers at all)

Anbe Anbe En Kannil Vizhunthaai (My love why did you came in my eyes)
He remembered how he saw her for the first time

Anbe Anbe En Nenjil Nuzhainthaai (My love why did you entered my heart)
He remembered how he confessed his love and their close moments

Anbe Anbe En Vittu Pirinthaai (My love why did you leave me and go)
He remembered Ragini going away from him

Anbe Anbe Puyal Pole Kadanthaai
(Why did you passed like a storm)
He closed his eyes remembering her rage and her love and her struggle and closed his eyes letting the hot tears flow from his eyes. Cool breeze was tickling his skin.

“I love you Sanskar. I really do” Ragini’s words ringed in his mind.
“I love you Ragini. I love you too. But I can’t accept it because I can’t live without you. I’m scared to lose you. I’m scared to express my love which can take your life. There will be no person with such bad fate in the world (Mujhse badnaseeb insan koi nahi hai)” he slid down the window and sobbed holding the wall.
“Ragu what happened?” asked Swara to Ragini who got up with a jerk from Swara’s lap. She was breathing heavily and sweating very badly. “I’m feeling restless dee. I don’t know why I feel something is wrong. I want to talk to Sanskar” said she getting up from her bed and dialed Sanskar’s number. His phone was silently ringing on the bed. “Why is this Idiot not picking the call. Kumbakaran, gadha” said she walking across her room. Swara chuckled looking at her. “Better I call maa” said Ragini and dialed other number. As she heard the ring her heart started sinking. Anu’s phone in Sanskar’s hand ringed. He jerked and looked at it and found Ragini calling. He received the call. Before he could say hello Ragini spoke from the other side “Maa. Is everything fine there. Can you please check on Sanskar once. I’m feeling restless” “Oye Rajdhani express relax” said Sanskar controlling his cry. But it was late Ragini had already sensed it. “Sanki are you okay. Why do I feel your crying” asked Ragini. Sanskar’s eyebrows shrank and he suppressed his cry by pursing his lips tightly. “Ohho bandariya why will I cry. I’m partying here” said Sanskar trying to smile. “You don’t even know to lie properly. Can’t you simply admit that you are missing me already” thought Ragini in her mind and a tear dropped from her eye. “Okay khadoos. Good night” said Ragini. “Listen” said Sanskar stopping her. He did not wanted her to disconnect the call. “Hmmm” said Ragini. “Ani was missing you. Even Ansh and maa also. But I did not miss you ok. I did not miss you” said Sanskar and touched the wall with his head. “I know” said Ragini wiping the tear at corner of her eye. “You knew I will not miss you?” asked Sanskar surprised. “Haa Sanki insaan” said Ragini. “Haww” said Swara opening her mouth. Ragini bit her tongue and lowered her head blushing. “Don’t you call me that Bandariya” said Sanskar annoyed. “I will call. what will you do?” asked Ragini making her shoulders a bit up feeling proud. “I’m warning you Bandariya don’t you dare to call me that” he said in warning tone. “I’m not scared of you Phattu Maheshwari. Go and sleep now. Good night” Said Ragini disconnecting the call. Swara was looking at her shocked. “Dee?”said Ragini shaking her. “Ragu is that the way to address your husband?” asked Swara. “Husband? Who?” asked Ragini. “Oye Sanskar” said Swara slightly hitting Ragini’s head. “Ohhh ya. I sometimes forget that he is my husband” said Ragini biting her tongue. Swara nodded her head and said “Come now sleep” said she dragging Ragini to the bed.
“Ragini…. Ragini…….” Ragini heard someone whispering her name and slightly opened her eyes. “Oye Bandariya” she heard someone whispering. She opened her eyes and found Sanskar peeping from the window. She got up with a jerk and screamed “Sanki” “What happened Ragu” said Swara who got up with a jerk due to Ragini’s scream. Sanskar immediately hid behind the wall. “Wo kuch nahi Shona dee just bad dream” said Ragini nervous. “Oh God sleep now” said Swara dragging her back to the bed. “Dee I’m feeling thirsty I will drink water and come” said Ragini nervous. “Ragu. Water is there in jug only” said Swara pointing to the jug with closed eyes. “Dee wo I need cold water. I will just come” said Ragini and headed to kitchen. She opened the window of the kitchen which was near to the window of their room. She bent out and called Sanskar. Sanskar bent near the room window so that Swara doesn’t see him and headed to the kitchen window slowly. He climbed the window and entered the kitchen. Ragini looked around if any of her neighbor watched him and closed the window and turned to Sanskar and folded her hands and glared him. “What?” asked Sanskar. “You are asking me? You came to my home at this time like a thief and asking me only what?” asked she waving her hands in air. “Who told you to call me phattu?” asked Sanskar pouting. “That’s what you are. Phattu phattu phattu” said Ragini teasing him. Sanskar held her elbow and dragged her close to him. Ragini’s eye balls were moving with nervousness due to Sanskar’s shocking move. “Am I phattu?” asked Sanskar nearing her face more. “You are” said Ragini. Sanskar kissed her ear and asked “Am I?” Ragini felt week in her knees. She closed her eyes and nodded her head. Sanskar touched his cheek with Ragini’s cheek tickling her. Ragini held his shirt tightly. “Am I?” asked Sanskar. “Hmmm” said Ragini losing herself in his sensuous touch. He dragged her more close, now her thumping her could be felt on his chest. Sanskar encircled his hand around her waist. He brushed his lips on her neck and shoulder. She turned her face to the other side and blushed. “Am I?” asked he again. Ragini hugged him immediately not able to control her feelings. “You will call me that again?” asked he bringing her out of the hug. “Yes pha…” before she could complete, Sanskar’s rough lips locked her soft lips and he dragged her more close holding her waist. She opened her eyes shocked. But after recollecting herself she closed her eyes and her hands traveled over his neck and hairs which excited Sanskar who dragged her more close to him.

“Ladooo” called Sumi and Ragini opened her eyes and looked around and found herself on the bed. She closed her eyes and opened again to grasp the difference between her beautiful dream and reality.
I actually wanted to use a hindi song so that maximum people can connect to it. But this song is like my soul so I felt this will describe Sanky’s plight more precisely. Most of the south Indians might have heard this song but whoever have not heard it you can hear here : Duh I did so much of research to provide a apt translation for it. If it is not correct my dear Tamil friends please let me know. After I placed the song I could not think of a alternate hindi song for it so you can imagine the song you like and please do comment it so that I can keep it in mind for future. And I don’t know how many of you found Ragini’s confession apt for the time. Initially I planned her to make confess after she discovers the truth but that will look like she felt pity on Sanskar and confessed so I brought some other situations to make her confess. Hope you liked it.

We recommend
  1. Marvelous

    1. Sally_blr

      Thank you tani. I can see a progress in your commenting schedule from last to first comment. I was just kidding dear. I know you will be busy. Comment whenever you are free I always wait you to read the chappy

  2. i liked it so much ragini confession was so perfect hope this would not be the dream of ragini and sanskar would actually come to meet her

    1. Sally_blr

      Thank you so much Ankita.

  3. Amazing

    1. Sally_blr

      Thank you sisso

  4. Crystal089

    awesome di loved it ragini’s dream was cool this sanskar na he’s really sanki can’t he see rags pain some where he doesn’t wanna hurt her and he’s hurting her loved it update soon

    1. Sally_blr

      Thank you Crysti, yup he is struggling. Glad you understood him

  5. Sindhura

    For one second i though sansky kisswd her

    1. Sally_blr

      Aww I’m so glad that I made you believe it. That is what happens when you engross in the story. I really love you for that. Thank you Sindhu

    2. Sindhura

      Love u too

  6. Mindblowing epi….Ansh is so sweet…ragsan scenes are superb…awesome song….ragini dream scenes are nice….keep rocking….

    1. Sally_blr

      Thank you fira

  7. Zoya

    nice update sally

    1. Sally_blr

      Thank you so much Zo

  8. Super episode…ragsan scenes are superb.. Waiting for next part.

    1. Sally_blr

      Thank you Suhani

  9. Sreevijayan

    Sallllllyyyyyyyyyyyyy….. u knw what? U irself have no idea wht u r doing to me….u and ur story are a blessing to me

    U have no dear hw much this ff is close to my heart… each nd every emotions u portray is magical… ragsan in dis ff is smtng i can nvr describe…sanky is one of d best character i hve ever read…. his pain cannot b described…. i was closing my mouth nd weeping in deir phone convo scene…. it was beautiful….i wil nevr evr frget this story sally….nd m nt gud at describing my feelings..

    Hope u r feeling better nd u knw wht? I love u……

    1. Sally_blr

      I was just missing you so badly. You are fine na. I really get worried when you don’t comment. Blessing is really a huge word dear. Thank you so much for loving my story and characters. That is really a huge compliment. You are good or bad I really wait for your comments. I’m all good and I love you too Achu

      1. Sreevijayan

        Am fine yah health nt otherwise… i was missing u tooooo….

  10. Keerthu

    Its really Awesome dr…….. I luv tat dream and tat song also dr……. This is my fav song dr………. Ur making me crazy day by day for ur chappy dr……..

    1. Sally_blr

      Thank you so much Keerthu

  11. Jazzy

    Amazing dearrr loved it. alot and what a dream for ince i thought that it was real

    1. Sally_blr

      Yeppie I’m glad that I made you feel it real. My intention to include that sequence is fulfilled

  12. Sally sally sally……u r awesome. ….I feel like seeing all the things than reading.such a simple n intense writing style u have..I LOVE THAT SONG anbe anbe .it fits here so well

    1. Sally_blr

      Thank you so much Naz dear. I’m glad I could make you visualize it. It’s a huge compliment for a writer. You really made my day sweetheart

    1. Sally_blr

      Thank you Ammy

  13. Nice epi bt it s too short

    1. Sally_blr

      Thank you dear. It was just continuation of last chappy. I felt I should give it a break so that I can keep you people hooked.

  14. Asw

    Always rocking my favourite song is this,i thought sanskar came to her house than dream ?huh keep going

    1. Sally_blr

      Thank you dear

  15. Awesome. Ansh is sooo cute.really sanky is pattu only …lol.I thought that was real but it was her dream….at least in dream they had romance.. Please update rishtey ff .I am waiting for my nitin. Even I love that song….

    1. Sally_blr

      Thank you Pinku. I was just finalizing draft dear. I will update today

  16. nice amazing superb excellent mind blowing plzzzz yaar sanskar should accept her and best one and loved plZzzzzzzz next part soon I am not able to wait

    1. Sally_blr

      Thank you Nikky. Sorry dear you got to wait till Monday.

  17. Awesome episode….. Ragini’s confession is so perfect…..And tq so much for that song…..It is one of my favourite song…..Semma feeling

    1. Sally_blr

      Thank you so much Dear

    1. Sally_blr

      Thank you dear

  18. Richa19

    Such a cute epi it was.. I loved it though I didn’t understood the song but I could feel sanskar’s pain coz I know how it feels to b away from the person u love when he’s so close to you….. ..all the best dear for the further updates ???

    1. Sally_blr

      That’s really so sweet yar Richa. Thank you so so much dear

  19. Inu

    Superb. Loved it.

    1. Sally_blr

      Thank you Inu

  20. yay ragini u go girl having hot dreams about ur dreamguy

    1. Sally_blr

      ha ha ha ha. Really I did not realize it at all

    1. Sally_blr

      Thank you dear

  21. It’s amazing dear
    Sooo cute of ragini

    1. Sally_blr

      Yup she is cute. Thank you abi

  22. Ragz_teju

    it’s so apt decision dear… I loved loved loved ragsan moment though it was a dream… superb chappy and I heard this song I had not understood actual meaning of it before but I liked the feel of it thanks for giving meaning for it and using it over here

    1. Sally_blr

      Thank you so much yar Ragzee. Glad you liked the decision.

  23. Sherin


    1. Sally_blr

      Thank you Sherin

  24. tamila ada nama paiyan

  25. r u tamil

    1. Sally_blr

      No dear. I’m Kannadiga. But I love Tamil movies and songs the way I love Kannada songs and movies. Actually I just love all the languages

  26. Awesome yaar . May ragini dreams come true

    1. Sally_blr

      Thank you Chhaya

  27. Loved the epi…?? nd the song was soooo apt…. nd it is also heart touching.. loved it❤

    1. Sally_blr

      Thank you so much dear.

  28. Rasha

    each & very episode I want to comment u but am not doing coz watever I comment it will less for ur work. if I feel to comment also am not getting the words for u coz after reading ur ff my mind will only recollecting of ur ff..if I feel like writing a words for u also it will b like same repeated words but what to do am not Sally na to give beautiful words like u.. love u so much dear. enjoy the life be happy & make others to b happy.. happy Christmas dear..

    1. Sally_blr

      Awww really so sweet of you dear. Don’t be like me and make people cry. Love you too dear. Merry Christmas dear

  29. Wow Sally. Thanks for this song. Apt for the scenario. Lovely. Whole episode is so lovely, their cute nok-joks are adorable. Their feel for each other even when miles apart is so lovely. Ansh is very cute nd genius. He understands his chachu very well. Awesome dr. Take care

    1. Sally_blr

      Thank you so much Kutty. Glad you liked the song.

  30. Deesh

    Siso, this is not fair. U made me believe that sanki insaan had really come to meet his bandariya. It was so cute. And that song!! What a surprise! It is my fav song and I agree with u that this song is more than apt for sanky’s plight. I just enjoyed each and every moment of this epi. Loved the epi. Love u sisso.

    1. Sally_blr

      Yup I wanted to make you believe it and I’m glad that I disappointed you. Don’t mind but these all give me kind of happiness to know you engross yourself in the story so well. You know right if Sanskar makes that move his character will become clumsy. I really love my characters and Sanky is my fav I cannot do this to him. That song is like my soul. I have to atleast listen to it once in a day. Love you too dear

  31. A.xx

    amazign and u broke my heart making it a dream .xx post soon

    1. Sally_blr

      Thank you so much dear. I will try dear

    1. Sally_blr

      Thank you so much Hema

  32. Asra

    fabulous Sally dear….now a days u r giving happy happy chappy dear….i loved it alot…Awww my cute sweet ansh….cho sweet dear….what a dream yar…Once I thought it’s real…but u broke it dear…and song awesome dear…it’s my fav song dear….u rock it Sally… thz update….and love u lot dear….waiting for nxt one…tkcr dear….

    1. Sally_blr

      Asru I really love you yar. You love my all characters and describe them so well I feel my dictionary is not enough to say you how much your comments encourage me. I’m really grateful for your love

  33. Zelena81196

    Absolutely loved the chapter… loved how ragini got restles…. ragsan just rock…. update soon.. cant wait…

    1. Sally_blr

      Thank you Zelena

Comments are closed.

Yes No