GIRLS PAIN (A SEQUEL TO WHY) BY PIHU
The story of a girl and her miseries. Her life which was full of spineless people and she still choose to survive and later fight for herself.
Oh wow today I am coming to this world to experience it, cherish it, favour it. I was waiting since nine months to come out of my mum’s tummy. Atlast now I am out. I cried coming to the new world feeling its ecstasy. My mom held me close. She got tears seeing my peitite frame. I guess that or that was what I thought.
Few years passed now I am a six year old. My mom is the most dearest to me. Oh well she is dearest because no one ever cares for me. I have a huge family with parents and grandparents and of course now my mom is going to give me my bro as per she said. I am happy now I will be having someone to share my fun, my pain and also the person who will protect me as I heard from people that brothers protect their sister.
After some days my mom gave birth to a cute little boy. I was happy. I went to my mom to hold it. I was excited but my dad slapped me hard. I was numb and later my grandparents threw me out of my mom’s room. I cried silently sitting at a corner. After sometime when my parents and grandparents were out I secretly and silently peeped into my mom’s room and found her sleeping with my little brother. I took baby steps and sat besides a chair. I could see my mom all pale and weak. I carased her hairs. She opened her eyes and smiled at me. She got up and handed me my baby brother securely. I hesitated to hold him thinking of my dad’s slap. I moved back but my mom held my hand pulling me closer and handed me my brother. I saw his cute eyes, cute nose and lips. I decided that I will always love him no matter what he is my little brother. My mom cleared the tears from the corner of my eyes which I didn’t realised when it actually came out.
“Beta your dad was worried as your brother is too small so he slapped you. But he is your father.”
I nodded at her words. Yes she must be right afterall elders are always right.
Five years passed out with my baby bro. I do all his chores. I love him like anything. After my mom he is my only means of survival. My dad always scold me to stay away from him and my grandparents taunt me saying I will kill him as I am bad omen. I am now that mature to understand what it actually means. Seeing the society I understood maybe I am a girl so I am a bad omen. But sometimes some thoughts do cross my mind
“I am a girl even my mom was then she gave birth to us and how can I a girl be a bad omen if we women’s are the creator of this world. Even we worship goddess and bow before them then why do I get abused daily.?”
My mom supports me when I get scolded. Even when I was banned from going school and instead my little bro was getting admitted to a well built public school my mom supported me and so I could manage to study in a nearby govermnent girls school.
Years passed by now I am 22 years old and of course my little bro is now 16. He looks cute to me even now. I still do all his works even though he scolds me a lot of times. Well not because I do his works but when I get delayed to do his works or I do any mistakes. I feel bad at times but then he is my little bro and maybe he gets pampered from me so he behaves so.
Few days later I got to know my dad had fixed my marriage. I don’t know if I should be happy or sad. Happy as I would be entering a new phase and I will get someone who will be my soulmate, who will share my pain, who will stay by my side, who will love me and sad as I have to leave all. Yes I love each and every person. Maybe my dad scolds me and even slaps me but mom says that dad loves us and the person we love the most we get angry the most with them. So I love him. And my grandparents I love them too. They taunt me but still they are my elders and we should respect them as they are right because they are experienced as my mom said. And my mom and brother are most precious. I love them so much. They are my world.
Few days later
Today my marriage is finally gonna happen. I am happy nervous as well as excited. I didn’t met my groom before nor did I see his pic. I was really sad when my dad just announced my marriage date without seeing the person and i knowing him. But then my mom made me understand that she too had faced the same situation. But there’s nothing to be worried about. She said its good we don’t know each other as the passing time will let us know each other well. And we will understand each other and love each other slowly. So now I am happy and excited. Now I am at my college for receiving my certificates as I would be flying to another city after marriage.
And today I am enjoying it fully as my bro had insisted to spend the whole day with me. I so much love and adore my brother. Although dad never talks to me but I know today when I get married and will be leaving my house he will surely cry and he would be really sad.
After receiving my certificates my bro said he has arranged a surprise for me.
God I am so much excited as for the first time in my life anyone is giving me a surprise. And that anyone is my little bro. I am really doing happy dance in my mind. I went on a bike ride with my bro. And I really enjoyed it. Later he took me to his friends house as he said that he can’t give me surprise at our home and I totally understand as my dad and my grandparents don’t like it at all.
He really cares for me.
I entered the house being excited for my surprise. As I entered I saw two of his friends(male) sitting. I guess they both have helped him for arranging my surprise. My curiosity was at the highest. My bro pointed towards a room saying that room has a surprise for me.
As I entered I saw the room empty I thought it to be some hidden surprise but then I was grabbed by two people from back. I shouted in fear. And then the happy day of mine became the darkest day. My bro, my little bro was standing infront of me giving an evil smirk. It took me few minutes to understand and still I could hardly understand.
I WAS RAPED BY TWO OF HIS FRIENDS AND BEFORE THAT I WAS RAPED BY MY OWN BROTHER.
I cried, I begged my bro, I insisted that I am his sis, I showed him his wrists where I tied rakhi on every RAKSHA BANDHAN. But I guess my cries were not much audible to him. My own brother whom I loved him broke me. I thought him to be my world and my means of survival.
I WAS BROKEN.
They all left me after getting satisfied. Their friends questioned my brother that what will he answer to our family
“Ah she is a nothing important to us. So it really doesn’t matter and anyway this piece of shit is getting married and there’s nothing we should worry about” . This was the answer from my brother which shocked me to core.
Oh why even I am calling him as brother. He isn’t worth it.
He then dragged me to home. My mom understood seeing my situation so questioned him infront of my whole family.
He proudly said
“Your daughter was getting too much clingy so was raped.”
My mom slapped him hard but then my dad slapped her harder.
“How dare you to slap my son. I am sure she was wrong and so what if your daughter is raped. It’s all your fault you let her study and now she got the fruit of her deeds. Its my fault to leave you alive even after knowing that you were born to us. Girls are nothing but a shame to society”
Great here I was happy since childhood for being born in this world where my own father wanted to kill me knowing I was a girl. I was in such a dream world. I loved my dad even after getting abused and here when I am physically abused my dad is the supporter of my rapist. My bro whom I thought to be my saviour is the one who ruined my dignity. Now I got it why mom cried when I was born. Because I am a girl.
Is there anything more left?
“I have already told she is a bad omen throw her out. But you all didn’t listen now we all have to bear the consequences”
Ah how can I forget my grandparents are still left. And this bad omen which I was since childhood was yet to be repeated. So ending will be by them.
I am forcefully getting married today. After being raped on my marriage day and ofcourse by my own brother my dad and grandparents forced me to marry threatening me on my mom’s life sake or they will kill them. I am ashamed of getting into this pious relation with a lie. I am ruining someone’s life. But maybe I can get some happiness there.
I know I am acting selfish thinking about myself but what can I do I am helpless in case of my heart.
After my marriage my mom was the only one to cry. Actually I really got to know that my dad, my grandparents, and my rapist brother feel. I am just an unwanted piece of shit which they always wanted to get rid of. And finally they are successful so they must be happy right.
I left to my in laws with a lot of questions in my mind about them and with a shame carrying alongwith of being raped. I thought I would have to perform some rituals but I guess my husband is not well so he went to his room. My mother in law directed me to my new room and before getting in she only said
“Always obey your husband. Do what he says”
I nodded thinking that she is just like my mother who will love me and understand me. So I was determined to follow her words.
I went inside feeling nervous I saw my husband and he was of I guess 25-27 years old as I wasn’t even told anything about him. I stood beside him quiet. He turned towards me I was hell nervous by now. I am not ready to accept any new relation as its only today I got raped and I left my family. I though now don’t care for anyone but my mom. I still miss her.
But I guess today must be the darkest day of my life. My life is miserable I knew it but today it became horrible. My husband abused me. He tortured me like hell. He showered his love I guess but through belt. What harm did I do to him? I shouted in pain but he seemed to be deaf. He kept on torturing me with the belt whole night until he got tired.
My body is sore, weak. I dont have any strength to stand. He went to a deep slumber in his king sized bed. And here I am at a corner all red with brushes on my body.
My all dreams got shattered. My hopes are broken. Everything seems to be a lie. I trusted my mom and so was her words. Either she lied to me or this world is itself a lie.
The next day I somehow went to my in laws and told them about the torture I suffered whole night and even they could see the bruishes all over my body.
But I am really so dumb to think of they helping me. If my own family couldn’t help me and stand with me in my pain then how can a family from whom I don’t have any blood relations will support me. It’s sarcastic right. But atleast I thought them to be humans but no I was wrong they are worst then beast even after getting so much of torture whole night I was forced to work the whole day.
You all must be thinking why I didn’t go to police right? But what can I do I really have a bad fate. My husband is a cop. So whom will I go to complain and also I am not allowed to go out and I even can’t run as outside guards are standing at the entrance.
Days passed into months and the only thing that changed was now my husband used to rape me often. Yes I call it rape because I don’t want it and he didn’t ask my permission. So I was forced.
Few days later I came to know I was pregnant. I was happy but fear stucked in my mind what if my child will have to bear the same like me if I give birth to a girl. I choosed to hide this news from everyone but I guess truth can’t be hidden for long and thanks to this pregnancy symptoms for this. My whole family got to know about the news. My in laws were happy so I was now a bit relaxed. But my world turned upside down when they took me to hospital. I thought it to be a check up and yes it was but there was more to it. Through my husbands source he did the s*x DETERMINATION of the child which is banned all over. Its a crime. But here the protector is only the destroyer. I am habituated now.
But the reports said it was a girl. I placed my hand on my womb. I felt something different. A special feeling . But I guess we girls don’t have the right to stay happy. I was taken to operation theatre saying that I have some complications in my pregnancy as I am anaemic. I believed it. And then they treated me. They treated me so well that my child was no more.
I LOST MY BABY. I GUESS THEY KILLED IT KNOWINGLY AS IT WAS A GIRL.
My in laws took me back home. I stayed silent waiting for right time. At night I got a chance and when the whole family was sleeping. I quickly got out of house and saw the guards sleeping. I found it to be the correct time and ran from their. I had some money which my mom gave when I left my home while getting married. And I purchased a ticket for myself a flew to another city.
I got a shelter in a ashram where people work for social welfare. I started working there in the ashram teaching small kids. And later I shared my life story with the ashram people. They encouraged me to file a case against my in laws and brother.
“Right now I am in a court fighting for my case against my in laws and my brother with a lawyer friend of mine from the same ashram.”
THIS WAS MY STORY TILL NOW… AND I AM STILL STRONG ENOUGH TO FIGHT AND I WILL…
Hey guys this is just a piece of my mind work. I heard many stories and combined it. I don’t know if I did justice or not but I tried my level best.