Fell in LOVE by mistake!!
*”*”*”*”*”*”*(EPISODE – 24)*”*”*”*”*”*”*
Sanky cupped Swara’s face.,
Sanky : Swara I’m saying na, You are my need, addiction and habit…Isn’t it enough..??
Swara replied with looking into Sanky’s eyes.,
Swara (sad voice) : I would wish to become life of someone not a drug moreover it’s not the drugs that makes a drug addict, it’s simply the need to escape reality..!!
Swara’s words affected Sanky and he felt like what Swara just said she really mean it…But then also with ignoring all around terms and conditions Sanky preferred to fight for his own desires.,
Sanky holds Swara’s one hand and planted a kiss on her palm.,
Sanky (still holding her hand) : I don’t know anything Swara, the thing to which I aware about is ‘I only want two things :- I WANT YOU AND I WANT US’.
Swara furiously takes her hand back from Sanky’s hold.,
Swara (apathetic tone) : Sanky please stop all this and make it is ended up here only…Now I want to disappear from your life, not because I got tired but because I can’t bear to be anymore your friend in this ‘friends with benefits’ relationship and I’m sorry for being selfish…The longer we’ll be with together…..
Swara’s voice got stuck into her throat while speaking as it was very tedious for her to say all this but she collect her strength with letting out all weaknesses and continued for completing herself with saying.,
Swara (emotional voice) : …The longer we’ll be with together the harder it is to part ways and yeah it is feeling difficult for now itself also but the hardest thing and the right thing are the same sometimes…So please go, forget everything and live your life happily..!!
Sanky : There is nowhere I could go that wouldn’t be you, u are my favorite place to go when my mind searches for peace…I mean, I really turned out liking u a lot Swara more than I thought in my lust.
Swara replied while holding her all emotions very difficultly.,
Swara (serious tone) : Whatever it may be Sanky…It is of no use now…All is over..!!
Sanky dropped his face onto Swara’s shoulder in disappointment and said with entangling his one hand fingers into her.,
Sanky (with blankly looking at entrapped hands) : Before I forgot close to people coz I always thought they will just eventually walk out of my life no matter how close we were…But I think, I didn’t able to recall this rule of mine when it came to you…You are my reason to smile Swara and believe me so effortlessly I smile because of you only…With u I always feeling like all is different…I really want to live my nights and days in your precious arms Swara where I always caught all kind of peace only..!!
Sanky picks up his head and looked at Swara with reflecting his sadness through his eyes.,
Sanky (sensuous tone) : Now I will again feel myself so and very alone without u..!!
After saying this both get dragged into one painful eye-lock while showing their hurts through that most effective and innocent way.,
Swara said while maintaining eye-contact very bravely.,
Swara (hurtful voice) : Your attention means nothing if I don’t have respect from your side…And just coz someone desires you, it doesn’t mean that they value you too…Do you aware about the fact that you just used me Sanky for your own well..??
Swara broke the eye lock while unable to find any kind of love reflection from Sanky’s eyes.,
While Sanky was again became so speechless in finding out his actual fault while taking glances of around scenario.,
Whereas Swara continued while lowering her gaze for not showing her tears brimmed eyes.,
Swara (broken voice) : You know I think one of the worst feelings are finding out that you didn’t mean as much to someone as you thought you did, and you just feel stupid and because you looked desperate..,
Sanky was weirdly watching Swara with listening her unexpected talks.,
While Swara wiped her tears and one more time looked at Sanky again with keeping herself going on.,
Swara (sad tone) : Sometimes you have to give up on people, Not because you don’t care but because they actually don’t..!!
With saying this big lone drop of tear fallen from Swara’s eyes…Sanky noticed it and he felt like plenty of pang course through his heart suddenly…Then with unable to bear all this he desperately answered Swara.,
Sanky (panicked) : But now I think, I DO Swara, I care for you that’s why….
Swara interrupted Sanky with capturing his words.,
Swara (causing brow to furrow) : That’s why it is difficult for you..??
Sanky innocently nodded and replied.,
Sanky (sentiment voice) : hmm…it’s hurting coz it’s mattered..!!
Swara’s heart wanted to believe on Sanky but her mind was stopping her from doing this so…And this time she chose to follow her mind rather than to melt in her heart feelings..,
But she found herself so weak while facing all this..,
So with avoiding Sanky, Swara stood up from the sofa and replied him with looking at straight rather than at him.,
Swara (plainly) : Sanky, I have made my mind now…Will not at all going to change my decision…I’m still on my words.,
Whereas Sanky was just listening Swara quietly with shocking mode.,
After telling her final verdict when Swara starts stepping on floor she felt pain at her ankle due to sprain that’s why she fumbled at her spot.,
With noticing this Sanky held Swara by her waist.,
And he said with giving her support to sit on couch.,
Sanky : In fact, I had a lots of chances to give up on u but still chose to stay, you had a lot of reasons to stay but u are choosing to giving up.,
Sanky sits close to Swara with still maintaining his serious yet questioning gaze on her.,
While Swara still avoids to look at Sanky as she don’t wanted to fall weak with maintaining strong stand on her decision.,
Sanky cupped Swara’s face and made her to look at him.,
And then he asked with staring into her eyes.,
Sanky (annoyed tone) : Swara, It’s not fair that I’m thinking of u and u probably haven’t even thought of me while making this sudden decision..,
With noticing Sanky’s stubbornness Swara was sure that she will not able to hold on her decision long time…That’s why she attempt to hurt his ego with telling lie so that he himself will give up on try of making her understand.,
Swara (rudely) : Why don’t you able to get this fact clearly that I got bored from you now…Feel like this relation is nothing but a heavy burden on my heart…Get this straight that I don’t want you in my life…Please spare me and just leave my path..!!
Sanky blinked his eyes…He had never seen such side of Swara…He felt like to hate her for all she just uttered..,
Actually it happened which Swara wanted, Sanky really got angry on her with losing all his patience..,
He furiously held Swara’s both arms with asking her.,
Sanky (being hyper) : How I behaved like stupid to expect anything from you for MY PEACE but frankly I wanted to say you that I really like u, more than I have liked anyone in a lone time. But at this instant I seriously got slapped in the pace with the reality that I’ll never be able to CALL YOU MINE and seem that it is also not a very big deal to u…But listen carefully may be I will not able to stop liking u. Then also I agree with you that all things which are in between us must be ended up now..!!
Sanky leaves Swara’s arms with a jerk.,
Whereas Swara was being silent while bearing his rabidity…As this was the only way she found to make all this over..,
Sanky (sad tone) : And yeah, I believe in fighting for a relationship but I don’t believe in fighting for it alone…If you can see a future without me and that does not breaking your heart then we’re not dealing with this LOAD-TYPE relationship anymore…Even also I’m not saying I don’t want you coz believe me I do. Just I’m not going to chase after u now..!!
Sanky looks like panicked and shattered also…He was feeling pain on the thought of separation only.,
Sanky (hurted voice) : But you know what Swara, nothing hurts more than being disappointed by the single person I thought would never hurt me… Don’t get me wrong, I’m not hurt coz you are leaving me, I’m hurt coz you do not want to stay and fix all this mess… And yes if we do not hang together, we shall surely hang SEPERATELY..!!
While Swara was still not saying anything or can say nothing was left for her to say on her failure of not able to save her relationship with Sanky even after struggling with so many attempts.
Sanky stopped for saying anything and was just looking at Swara’s tearful eyes for hoping some positive response.,
But as Swara thought to stay quiet, Sanky correctly captured her answer of ‘YES’ for separation through her silence.,
So After perceiving Swara’s negative reply through her mum…Sanky got mad.,
Sanky (disappointment) : I got your answer Swara which is still same , you know some things are meant to happen, just not meant to be, some things are meant to some in your life, just not meant to stay..,
Sanky stands from his place and he sits on his knees with holding Swara’s hands.,
He said with still looking at her pale, teary face.,
Sanky (over expressive) : And I got the fact that u learn more about someone at the end of a relationship than at the beginning…Are you interested to listen what have I learnt from this..??
He paused while staring Swara’s expressions…Then with getting frustration from same gesture to which currently he was hating…he spoke.,
He slightly squeezed Swara’s hands due to the effect of anger on him.,
Sanky(rage filled voice) : I learned that,
Don’t expect too much,
Don’t hope too much,
Don’t being addict too much for something,
Don’t ask too much,
Don’t trust too much
Don’t wish too much,
And don’t be habitual of anything too much.
With saying this, Sanky left Swara’s hands and stood in front of her with maintaining his intense, hurtful gaze on her.,
But with unable to hold huff of all his mixed emotions :- anger, hate, frustration, hurt…Sanky pick up vase from his near side stool and said while throwing it on the floor in his rage with making Swara shivered due to the sudden aloud breaking sound.,
Sanky (pain reflecting voice) : Coz this TOO MUCH HURTING SO MUCH..!!
Then Sanky starts to go towards door with heavy hearted..
Whereas Swara was looking at his back with tears roaming down from her cheeks.,
But at sudden, Sanky stopped after two steps, he turned and said.,
Sanky (harsh voice) : if I have to leave u, I want u to know that in the end it was not because I stopped trying to save this relation, it was coz you started being a heartless…Maybe I don’t cry, but it really hurts, maybe I won’t say but I feel, maybe I don’t show but I care Swara…A broken relationship can be a comma or full stop u choose what you want..??
Sanky continued with changing manner of his expressing into some ruthless one.,
Sanky (Rough voice) : And at the very last you won Swara, we separated now…We broke up the ‘FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS’ relationship..!!
Sanky chuckled in hurt and again kept continuing with.,
Sanky (stern voice) : I said, I will be alone without you Swara but please don’t be worried about me hunn I’m not alone because loneliness is always with me from childhood and now also he will be only with me for being my support..!!
With completing himself, Sanky got numbed at his place only while staring at Swara with expecting to get stopped all this…Whereas Swara was just looking at him with hurt reflecting eyes…Both one more time get caught in single painful eye-lock..,
But Swara tried to handle herself from falling broken in front of him..,
Swara broke the eye contact and said with hardly grasping one very small painful smile.,
Swara (soft voice) : Wish you a good life ahead Sanky..!!
Sanky noticed Swara’s smile and with getting misunderstood the reason behind it…Sanky turned his face towards exit of the door…And with standing some half minute with facing his back to Swara, Sanky left from there after letting out a lone big drop of tear from his eyes.,
While Sanky was leaving then Swara was just staring at his back with tearful eyes and helpless situation.
And when he reached to the peak of the exit.,
Then Swara whispered with still staring at his back.,
Swara (said lovingly with tearful eyes) : I love you so much Sanky..!!
With confessing this Swara get dragged into vigorously crying.
Sometimes two people have to fall apart to realize how much they need to fall back together. One of the hardest lessons in life is letting go, whether it’s LOVE, anger, guilt, loss or betrayal. Change is never easy we fight to hold on and we fight to let go.
Till now, Sanky was the king of mixed confused emotions and Swara was the queen of getting her hopes up..!!
Swara was a forgiver. Her heart was so large, before that morning she didn’t know how to give up on Sanky coz she always believed in her deep yet intense love for him. But it was until she was walked on so many times, she had no choice but to let go of him who burned holes in her heart.
And least Sanky knew the fact that his heart was also broke by Swara coz he too was feeling tremendous pain inside him. Swara was the one in whom he always search for peace only, he was proud on the consideration that she will not leave him in middle. He was very sure on the fact that whatever the big mistake he will done she will always forgive him so easily like she used to do before but least did he bother to get aware about the situation that she was also her own limits.
But we can think for good hopes and can wish that may be heartbreak will bring a positive change in swasan’s life.
With noticing such a low response, will not able to proceed further so should end now on this separation track only..!! (Then till new concept bubyee..!!).