Hello,guyz,I don’t know what has dragged me again here.The curiosity to check the comments you guys write,the greedines to grab an attention,be it only for some moments or the craveness to get the love you all give.Whatever the reason might be,I want to tell you guyz that i coudnt stay away from this platform for long.So,here I am,Farin with an epilogue.
Here,It is to tell you that this is not related to my previous OS-A sacred thread.It is completely a different concept and a reflection of that is here.??
Here The last :
Today i had a tough and hectic day,though it doesn’t have much difference from my usual day.My office time from 7AM of morning to the 9 PM of night has taken over the normalcy from me.Actually I wanted that normalcy to go away.Maybe,for that reason Office files and documents also come with me to take over the rest of the night to stay busy and not recollecing my horror experience.
I always try to stay normal in front of my family.But is the pretence worth of their proficiency to go inside my heart where every inch is broken and keep hurting me like anything?I know they see the broken glasses inside me and still try to act so normal like nothing ever happened.But whats their fault?I also pretend inartificial.Then why just we fall short of words when we come across.Just a eye glance or Simple ‘Hi-Hello’.Except this I never tried to get interacted with them since that day which brought the black journey of my life.And still the black journey is on….
There is one more creature in this house whom i manage to stay away from.Since her birth,I never tried to maintain any relation with her,neither did I let her to make any of that with me.How can I make any relation with someone who is replacement of my Anika?
“Mr.Oberoi,We are very sorry.The baby was very critical to manage.Hence,we had to do the surgery and…….we couldn’t save your wife.”
That night Doctor’s words had left me horrified.I had no words to react on his statement.He so easily passsd the information to me without even thinking how much effected the person can be who is listening him.Huh!!!! what am I thinking?They are doctors and hiding the truth for good is not just their cup of tea.I had considered him so mean and still do.I wish he didnt say those.
His words were still unfinished,
“You are blessed with a small baby girl.She is absolutely fine.”
I couldn’t digest the fact.How can she be absolutely fine?After grasping my Anika,how can she be fine?I was the worst dad in the whole world then.But I didnt realize that.
-“You can take your baby home tomorrow.Shall the prepare the discharge papers?”
I groaned ,”I dont care”—saying this I left the hospital.I didnt even realize for once that my angel who has seen the light of this beautiful world just some seconds before,has nobody in this world except me.I didnt realize that her tiny red crimzon hands want to get enshrouded in mine.I didn’t realize her apple size head was craving to get my touch in the back.I was just lost in myself.I never could utilize Anika’s dream,
“Promise me,shivay,you will give our child the best moment of her life.”
“I promise you”–I was such a liar.I feel disgust at this right now.
My daughter didnt get her father’s touch.Om had brought her home from the hospital.Rudra used to sing her lullaby,Mom used to change her nappy.Papa used to take her to shopping and buy her dolls,saumya used to make her hairs which is so like my anika.I always avoided our eye contact as i knew she has gone after her mother.Her eyes will always remind me of Anika and maybe,then I will fall for my daughter.But i shouldn’t,I shouldn’t love my Love’s murderer?
Her first parents day meeting was attended by OmRu..I very negligently avoided going there by making an excuse of my meeting.She had cried soooooo much.But her Chachu’s icecream treat had made her calm down.
Today I curse myself for missing those moments.My daughter’s first words were,”Daddy” But I wasnt there to listen.My daughter had fallen down while trying her first walk,but I wasnt there to hold her.Her sobbing at the middle of night because of hunger or the wetness in her nappy,used to break my sleep often.I never had the courage to go to Mom’s room to wake her up giving a shake to feed my angel.
How ironic?Those were my jobs and I were so submissive that I couldn’t break my anger towards her
On her first birthday,OmRu had thrown a big party and i was oblivious of it.When I had came back home,all those lights,decorations,cakes annoyed me.Anika’s face during her funeral had flashed in front of my eyes which reflected in the birthday girl’s face.She was the birthday girl causing my anika to go away from me forever.I,in a winkle of eyes just had smashed the cakes in floor.My one year daughter got her worst birthday gift from her daddy.She was very panicked at my voice.No one could console her.She was crying profusely till she fell to sleep.
Next day,My eyes had became red swollen as I had also cried all over the night.But I didnt know why I cried because my angel cried or Her birthday was being celebrated at my Anika’s death day.
I,now so wish those days didnt come in my life.Anika’s death,my daughter’s birth—-this facts totally changed my life.We could have lead a very happy and normal happy ending life.Why Destiny had to play such a cruel game?Why I was forced to hate my own blood?Why?
Today,some time ago,I got another biggest shock of my life.Anika’s diary—-
“Shivay,what I want to tell you now may break you more and maybe,I wont be there to console you.”–I wondered why she said that.How did she know that she won’t be there by my side.I didnt want to read further as every page seemed very appalling to me,though I continued doing so—–
“Shivay,Life has played a very brutal game with us.We had so many dreams for us,for our shivika.We had promised that we would become world’s best parents.Her first day,first speech,first falling while her first walk then her calling me maa and you the great daddy-every little of her would have the immense spark of love from us,we had decided,right?But God didn’t want that spark from me,maybe.”
I agian stopped reading.What was she saying?Has she gone mad?My chest was paining slightly as perheps I could guess what I would have to read.Unknowingly,i opened the diary again—
“Next week after i got to know about my pregnancy,I went to doctor for my regular checkup and that day i first could know about my complications in conceiving.He had warned me to abort my baby otherwise it can be fatal to me during my delivery.I wanted to tell you,shivay.But the consequence was very known to me.I know you love me like crazy and you wouldn’t afford to loose me.But Shivay,I couldn’t loose her.She is my part,shivay.”
I collapsed in the floor.Why Anika??I coudnt take the thing that she also betrayed me.She snached herself from me.I was feeling like killing her again.
“Shivay,I know daughters are always the angel of a father’s eyes and I know my daughter will resemble me,hence you will love her the most.Dont ever make her feel like a stranger.She is now your everything after me.If possible plz forgive me.I love you very much.But I know you won’t miss me as you have the small anika with you.”
Now,I am going to my angel’s room.Befor getting Anikas diary i got her mail. She is just a 10 years old kid.Still she writes so maturely.She has gone after me in intelligence,hahah…I am laughing after so many year.
I entered in her room for the first time in my life.It was so perfectly organized.From her reading table to wardrobe,everything gave me completely a positive and proud vibes.I went to her.Her hand was bandaged and head too.She has gone through so much today.Her accident made me vulnerable to her.
I drew the fallen quilt over her body and there I realize she was sleeping clinging a photo near her hear.I took the photo..
It was none other than Her mother.I noticed she really resemble my anika.Her small nose,little hand,pinkish lips and winding bunch of hair so match with Anika.I kept the photo beside her.
I was about to go.Suddenly I saw a tear in my angel’s tiny eyes.It was slowly descending from her cheeks to jaw.But before it could reach there I hold her tears.I couldnt let the fallen tear disturb her sleep.
My angel,my shivika is my everything.
I carresed her forhead,”Tomorrow morning you will see a new ray of light which will never blemish with time.And yeah,dear,I love the spring and you as well.”
I didn’t let her fallen tear dry in my hand as it always reminded me of how much i have hurt her till now.I was corroborate enough to make those fallen tears a past and a ever lasting smile on my shivika’s lips.
Plz guys comment as it really takes much effort to write a story and not getting comments is really more than dissaponting.plz support me.