dreams to love (episode 5)
dreams to love
sisterly bond and sacrifice
We walked down into the hall and spot him standing with my brothers and uncles. It looked like he wants to talk about an important matter. I thought that he found what I am up to and if he did then I am dead. In this traditional and old minded family no one would agree on a girl dancing. They believe that girls should do their household works and is meant to be married. I was soo scared and nervous. I noticed Mahi also shivering. We finally reached near bapu. He wasn’t looking at us he was turning towards the wall. “Oh! Here comes the beautiful grownup woman. I heard that both you both was late in coming home. You are grown up women and are not supposed to come home late….” Our uncle started a long lecture. Bla…Bla…Bla… it goes on for at least 15 minutes and he ended with the topic of marriage leaving us a shock. We had last conversation on marriage was in 3 years before on our elder sister Laila’s marriage but now it left us with surprises and nervous only. I was sure that whenever this marriage topic comes then surely the men in our family would make someone married. I was tensed about mahi she is 17 which two years elder than me and girls get married early in our family. I prayed to Allah for not letting anybody lose their happiness. My sister Laila was 17 when she was married and I have never seen her since she got married. She wasn’t like mahi. She did care about siblings but never takes risks like mahi in supporting us. She was like my mom she was never soo bold to go against our bapu and family and no one asked her what she wants and she was forced to marry. She was married to a 30 year old man named Majeed who was a friend of Mohammed bai. I hope she is happy there. I came into the present thought from Laila. “Mahi…You have reached the age to marriage. Your uncle Syed’s son Akbar is ready to marry you. We have planned everything for your marriage and it will happen in 5 days so get ready for it and ishaani help her for the arrangements” ‘ what? Mahi is getting married. Nobody asked her permission. If Akbar bai said he is interested in marring mahi every agreed on that nobody asked what mahi want. This is not right. This is not at all right. I have to do something.’ I thought. Just before I said something mahi hold my hand tight and nodded her head in an action showing not to create an issue. I was shocked. Mahi is just not reacting. It is her life. She has to sacrifice her whole life into this thing called marriage and she is just standing there like that. Not fair. Not fair. The thing that made me shock is that no one in the family supported mahi. It is her life too. I have learnt in the madrasa that Marriage is when two souls are coming together and I don’t think so that mahi is going to like Akbar bai. I have heard that he is a complete don. He drinks, he smokes, and he is a complete default. I used to see him in drunken conditions in road and all. He is somewhat 30. Bapu told us to go to the room. We reached the room in hurry. I wanted to say lots of things to mahi. Lots of things. The moment we reached home I started.
“Mahi are you insane? You didn’t just say anything. It is your life and you will be doomed after marring that Akbar. Don’t even kid me why did you stand there without reacting?”
She was just sitting on the bed. She didn’t move nor talk nor looked at me”
“Tell me mahi why didn’t you react? You used to react on my cases but what happen when it comes to your life.” I yelled at her
I saw tears falling from her eyes and now I can understand there is some serious reason is there in it.
My voice came soften from the angry mode. “Mahi tell me what is it? I can understand from your tears. There is something that you are hiding from me.”
She looked into my eyes and wiped her tears and said “today at afternoon when I was coming to pick you up I heard Muhammad bai talking to his friend about Akbar. He said that Akbar actually offered you to marry him but as I am elder than you I am supposed to marry so Akbar’s father agreed to make me marry to him. If I didn’t agree then our bapu will make you to marry Akbar and if that happens then what about your dream not only that in this period of marriage you can go to for practice. We will say that we went for marriage purchases and all.”
I hang open my mouth. I didn’t believe my ears. I was in utter shock. How could mahi sacrifice a lot for me? I did notice that in her smiley face there was some moodiness in it. She sacrifices a lot. A lot and a lot. I won’t agree to this sacrifice. This was something huge. She is sacrificing her own life. I don’t agree to this. Never. The truth she said made my anger more.
What? Mahi you can’t do this you can never do this. You have played with your own life. You know that marriage is a commitment and you one decision can change your entire life. My dream is a waste of time. It’s just dance and nothing else. It is a dream that a Muslim girl like me should never see. You should never sacrifice your life into it. It is useless. You will never be happy with that Akbar. You know that he is a good person. Why do you sacrifice for me like this? Why?” the tears broke down into a cry. I closed my with my palm and cried then mahi came with her lovely words.
“Ishaani, my sister, you have been my support always and never blame you and your dream. Ish… you are born with dance and I know that dance is everything for you. ‘Who said muslim girls can’t dance?’You are the one who said that to me when I used to tease you. Your dream is you destiny and you have to dance and dance to reach there. I want to see my sister happy and cherish her dream and that is my dream and I supported you to make your dream and now will you not cherish and support my dream.” she said with a smile and after a deep breath she continued. “if it comes to the case of marriage. I’m now going to be 18 and I am supposed to get married. You told me that marriage is commitment right? So you cant marry to anyone” she said with a smile. Hearing that I wiped my tears and asked:
“I cant marry. Why?” with a laugh mahi said “ because you already got commited to dance” hahaha… our tears broke into laugh and came back to our senses. But I laugh didn’t made my inner guilt do. I felt really guilty thinking that somewhere or somewhat I am the reason for all problem. We sister shared our love for each other and had a hug. I prayed to allah that make her happy always and never broke our bond.
precap: marraige preprations goes on… ishaani does her practice…. and ish to fly high from the cages that lock her….