I don’t have choice…
“I don’t have choice ever. Everyone rules over me. No one gives importance to my feelings. Always, I have to do as they say and as they wish. They never even listen to my opinion. I have studied in the college they said, I have did degree which they wished. I never had my own preferences. And same as that this marriage also… and his name is Laksh…!”
Ragini’s pov runs like this.
Laksh marries Ragini. The marriage is completed.
Laksh and Ragini are sitting beside each other in car. Laksh puts hand on her hand.
“I think, I have no choice now too. I need to bend my head to him?” she thinks.
He presses her hand. She removes her hand suddenly. He smiles.
They reach home. Laksh puts hand on her shoulder. She feels uneasy. He removes his hand understanding her.
“I’m sorry. See Ragini, this is your house. And this is your life. I don’t enter in your life until you agree… it’s your choice…!”
Ragini amazes and looks at Laksh.
Then she reminds one past incident.
Ragini: papa, I don’t want marry right now.
Shekar: but beta, he is a nice guy.
Ragini: i want to love the boy whom I’m going to get married.
Shekar: he loves you a lot beta…
Ragini: but dad, is my opinion not important?
Shekar: Ragini..we know what to do to you.
Ragini starts arranging her things in the room. Laksh comes.
Laksh: how is the house Ragini? Did you like it?
Ragini just nods her head. Laksh nears her hand to her head.
Ragini: what is it…
Laksh: don’t move…
He says and removes small bug from her hair.
Laksh: what if this bite you?
He throws that away. Ragini smiles.
Next morning, Ragini wakes and comes into hall.
Laksh: hey good morning Ragini… breakfast is ready. I’m going to office…
Ragini: this soon..? I mean, I thought…
Laksh: it’s already 9 dear…
Ragini looks at time. “I’m sorry. I will wake up early from tomorrow. I just slept being tired…”
Laksh comes near her and kisses her forehead. She looks at him amazed.
Laksh: no Ragini…I never force you in anything. You can be as you like… and sorry, I kissed you. By the way… I love you…!
He smiles and leaves. She looks on.
Ragini reminds something.
Dadi shouts: ladoo… o ladoo. Wake up soon..! how long will you sleep??
Shekar: maa, it’s just 5 O’clock. Let her sleep.
Dadi: what shekar?? She is girl. She has to learn to be punctual.
Dadi forcedly wakes Ragini. Dadi does same thing with her every day.
Ragini comes out of her thoughts with a calling bell. A boy comes.
Boy: madam, we have to paint the house. So, if you choose the colors, we shall start our work from tomorrow.
Ragini: but, I don’t know about these things. Better you ask sir when he comes.
Boy: no mam. If you select, we have to make our arrangements…
Boy: please mam…
Ragini selects something. That boy goes away.
Laksh returns evening to home.
Ragini: sorry, I have selected some paint colors. That boy insisted me. Just change it once calling to them…
Laksh: why to change Ragini? Let it be.
Ragini: but my selection? How could i?
Laksh: why not? This is your house.
Ragini amazes and looks at him. She reminds a fb again,
Ragini: maa…draw that design there on that wall.
Sumi: no… it won’t be good.
Ragini: just try it maa..
Sumi: go inside beta… you don’t know anything..!
Ragini goes away silently.
Ragini is serving food to Laksh.
She smiles. After eating he kiss on her cheek
She amazes and puts her hand on cheek.
Laksh: nice dinner. Thank you…
When he is about to go…
Ragini: is the food really tasty?
Ragini: I didn’t even put salt, how it could be tasty…
Ragini in tears: no need to tell anything. You were just telling that to make me happy right.
Laksh remains calm.
Ragini: why everyone are thinking like this about me? Everyone think that I don’t know selection. I don’t know anything..! I’m just a fool.
Laksh: what are you talking Ragini?
Ragini: I’m sorry Laksh. I was just short tempered. Don’t take it to heart.
She runs to her room. She sleeps on bed and starts crying. She reminds some more past incidents.
Dadi is scolding Ragini: you won’t get good marks. You are not good at any competitions, why are you? You are waste…
Shekar: maa…now what happened? Let it be…
Dadi: she should be get married soon. Shekar…look some matches for her.
Ragini: but daadi maa, why marriage this soon?
Dadi: shut up.. you don’t know anything. You are just a child.
Ragini remains calm.
Like that Ragini was married to Laksh without her interest.
Laksh comes to room and sees Ragini is crying lying on bed.
He sits beside her and keeps his hand on her shoulder. She wipes her tears and wakes.
Laksh: what happened Ragini? Why are you crying?
Ragini: nothing..i’m just remembering my parents.
Laksh: do you want to talk with them?
Laksh: Ragini… you need not control your tears. Cry as you like…
Ragini releases the river of tears and cries. He looks smilingly at her.
Laksh: now tell me.
Ragini: if I tell, you think I’m weak.
Laksh holds her hands. she looks at him.
Laksh: you are not weak Ragini. You are thinking that you are weak.
Ragini: no… I don’t know anything. I’m really foolish…
Laksh: if someone keeps a wall on your wishes or reject your selections, it doesn’t mean that you are a fool. Ragini, you are just thinking about you like that.
Laksh: you know what? If you really believe one thing, then you have to fight for it. if you really know something then you have to bravely open your mouth. If you just hate a thing, then say it out… because, this is ‘your’ life. You have all rights on your life.
Ragini: but people force me…
Laksh: you then fight for you..!
Ragini looks on.
Laksh: it’s getting late. Sleep for now.
Ragini sleeps looking at him. Both sleep on other ends of bed.
Next morning, Laksh is taking Ragini somewhere.
Ragini: where are we going..?
Ragini remains calm. Laksh keeps a song in deck. Ragini smiles listening to that song,
It’s her old favorite song, ‘mere naina..’
Ragini looks at Laksh in shinning eyes.
Ragini: this is my favorite song..! Is this also your favorite..?
Laksh: nope, I kept it because you like it.
Ragini: how do you know that I like it..?
Laksh: haha, your dad said. You used to sing it always it seems..!!
Laksh: I even heard while your singing that one in bath room today.
Ragini’s cheeks turn red in embarrassment.
They reach like a hall like place.
Laksh: Come Ragini. Let’s go..!
Ragini gets off from car and goes along with Laksh. They enter into a dark room.
Laksh: now, you have to sing a song.
Laksh gives a mike to her.
Laksh: why..? just show me your talent..!
Ragini gets little nervous.
Laksh: come on. I’m only here..!
Ragini: but, why now Laksh..?
Laksh: because I want to listen to your sweet voice..!
Ragini smiles. She holds the mike.
She sings, ‘nazar tho teri laagi…mein deewani hogayi..!’
She was looking at Laksh while singing. He smiles.
‘deewani haan…deewani.. deewani hogayi..!!’
She continues the song. And surprisingly, she hears lots of claps. And lights get switched on her.
She gets hell shocked to find herself on a stage. And, there are some audience before her.
A judge says, ‘wow..!! that was a marvelous song..!!’
Other judge, ‘you are selected for the xxx singing competition.’
Ragini still remains like that unbelieving. Laksh was clapping his hands happily.
‘Please come back for the competition.’
Ragini slowly moves away Laksh follows her. They both sit in car.
Laksh: wah wah Ragini. You are indeed a great singer..!!
Ragini is silent. Her eyes are tearing.
‘Ragini..’ says Laksh slowly and touches her hand. She jerks his hand.
Ragini: what was that Laksh..??
Laksh: ragini I was…
Ragini starts crying: I thought, at least you were supporting me. Respecting my thoughts, but you were also fooling me..!!
Laksh: Ragini, it was your dream to become a singer right.
Ragini: laksh, you know lot about me right..! what is the need of doing like that..!!
Laksh: bcz, I know you will never agree if I ask you to do like that.
Ragini: so, you are also started being bossy on me..!
Laksh in bit anger: Ragini, whatever I have done was for you..!!
Ragini smiling in pain: I know, I never have any choice.
Laksh looks at her. She turns away her face.
Laksh: you know what Ragini..! you really, don’t know what you want..!!
She was still looking away silently.
Laksh: your father wanted to make you an engineer. That was good for you. If you would have done music there wouldn’t have any use..!! and, your dadi was correct. Performing your marriage..! otherwise, you would have ate their brains..!!
Ragini was twisting the saree pallu in her hand in grief. She was crying silently. Laksh stops scolding her.
Laksh: I’m sorry. I was little frustrated.
Ragini crying: you are right Laksh. I don’t know to make decisions. All the time, people are correct. I’m always wrong..
Ragini remains calm.
After going home, Ragini goes into wash room and she cries inside. Laksh waits for her outside. After a while, she decides not to cry before him and wipes her tears. She comes out Laksh looks at her. Her eyes were totally red.
She speaks with dull voice,
‘Laksh, yes. Engineering was better for me. I will get a good career after that. if I do music, I may or may not get successful. But, the thing is I never liked engineering. I love music.’
Laksh looks at her.
‘All the things were same. My family has done everything for my betterment. Yes, they are right always. they were concerned about me. But, the truth is.. I was not happy with it..!!’
Ragini says wiping her tears again. Laksh was just looking at her.
‘Yup. I think, you are right. Following our choices is not always correct. Maybe, we have to listen to people who well wish for us.’
Laksh looks on…
‘you are right Laksh. I don’t know what I want..! see, I have rejected the marriage, but they did this marriage forcefully. If they would have listened to me, I would have missed a nice person like you..!!’ says Ragini bending her head.
Laksh sits before her and holds her hand,
‘Ragini, I’m really sorry for what I said. I respected your choices always..! That’s why, I took you to that music competition. I’m sorry for forcing you for that..’
‘Hmm, let it be Laksh. I lost interest in music after joining engineering. That’s why, I was not interested in competition. But, I will do it for you..!’
Laksh holds her hand tight, ‘Do it for you Ragini. Not for me..!!’
Ragini: laksh, i have done nothing for me till now. i always followed other’s wishes.
Laksh remains calm. Ragini sleeps.
Laksh wakes and looks for Ragini and she was in wash room. He just doing his work. Suddenly, he hears her scream.
‘Ragini..! what happened..?’ Laksh shouts. Ragini comes out of wash room just in towel and hugs Laksh.
Laksh amazes at once. Her wet body is touching him. He looks at her bare shoulders and neck where water droplets are travelling all through.
Laksh in trembling voice… ‘Rag..Ragini..’ he is about to move her far. But she hugs him even more tighter.
‘li..lizard..’ she says and shows her other hand towards wash room, still hiding her face in his chest.
Laksh looks at that way, a lizard just goes away. He smiles. But, he doesn’t say that it’s gone as he wanted to hug her some more time. But, Ragini realizes her position and she soon runs into wash room again being embarrassed. She blushes very hard inside, here Laksh was already in that position.
Later, they both are going in car. Ragini is supposed to sing on that day. Both don’t talk with each other for the situation happened in between them that morning.
They goes to the shooting place. Ragini feels nervous to step in. She holds his hand.
‘Laksh, I can’t do this..!’ He keeps his hands on her shoulders. ‘No..! you can do this..!’
‘But..’ when she is about to say something. He takes her inside. He makes her sit among other participants and he comes out. Ragini looks at the hall, number of audience, judges.. and live on T.V.
suddenly, she runs out. ‘Laksh..!’ she shouts. He turns back and shocks to see her.
She holds his hand, ‘laksh..! let’s go away. I can’t do this..!!’ she is saying with tears in her eyes.
‘Ragini… relax..relax…!’ he tries to say, she was still crying being nervous. Then Laksh hugs her. She amazes.
‘Ragini, don’t see the audience. don’t see the judges. don’t see even where you are..!! Just see what you are..! you are a great singer..! Indeed a great singer..! They all have come to listen to your song.. you have not come to perform before them..! So, be cool… be cool..!’ he says and rubs her back gently.
She closes her eyes in his soothing love. Laksh cups her face and kisses her forehead.
‘Ragini means something which people can’t estimate. Not the one who is coward.’ he says she looks at him. ‘go ahead..!’ he says. Ragini nods her head and confidently walks in.
‘I know Ragini, you don’t want to do this. But, I want to show who you are. You have been depressed by your thoughts. No… you shouldn’t be like that. I have to see your smile always..! That’s why, I was against to your choice here. you have to do this competition and know what you are..!!’ thinks Laksh.
Ragini turn comes. As Laksh said, she didn’t concentrate on anyone. She just saw the talent within her. Then a melodious voice raised from her heart,
‘Pehala nasha.. pehala khuma..!’ she remembers only Laksh while singing the song..!
She was closing her eyes. After the song, she was only disturbed by the claps of people. She feels over whelmed. She runs out and hugs her Laksh tightly. He feels happy.
She tells him in happy tears, ‘Laksh…Laksh… I’m so happy. Did you listen those claps..? They were they were for me..!!’
She keeps her hands on her mouth in excitement and jumps in happiness.
‘Ragini is a singer..!’ she shouts in happiness and keeps jumping. Laksh was smiling looking at her.
She runs near Laksh again.. ‘Laksh let’s go..!’
Ragini: take me to any restaurant..! I want to eat all I want..!! Now…!!
Laksh laughs with her childish nature, and takes her to a restaurant. He gives her menu.
Laksh: this is your day..order whatever you want..!!
Ragini excites and orders whatever she wants. She starts eating as she like.
Laksh: ragini, slowly. don’t eat that much…
RAgini with full food in her cheeks: shh..!!
She keeps eating.
LAskh: hmm, human beings can’t bear your sadness or happiness dear..!
Later they reach home. LAksh was carrying her in his arms.
Ragini: oh my god.. i have eaten a lot..!
Laksh: that’s why I said to stop.
He places her on bed. She sits.
Ragini: I understood my choices never worked out.
Laksh looks at her.
Ragini: my own choice would have kept me in troubles. It was better that If I listen to all.
Laksh sits near her.
Laksh: no. Don’t think like that. If you have listened to me now and stopped eating, can you be happy..?
Ragini looks at him.
Laksh: sometimes follow your heart, and sometimes brain.
He keeps her hand on her cheek.
Laksh: listen to what is good for you, even you don’t like. and reject all the things which aren’t good for you even if you like them. Accept which you like and which are good..!!
Ragini was just looking at him.
Laksh: for example, if you wouldn’t have accepted me, see… you would have lost me..! so.. accept which are really good for you.
Ragini hugs him tightly. He too hugs her back.
“Yes, I have my own choice. and I choose to love this boy. My life is my choice. But, there are somethings which I should also go opposite to my choices. I’m lucky to have this laksh who gives importance to my feelings. I love you Laksh…”
“Love you too Ragini..!” says Laksh out. Ragini amazes that how he understood what she thought.
Laksh smiles and takes her face in his hands and passionately takes her lips completely into his…