Swara flinched as Don caught her bythe shoulder.She’d bent next to his bed to pick up his clothes while he was sound asleep.He looked at her, and eventually let go, realizing he must’ve hurt her when he saw her panicked look.She looked at him worriedly, her heart racing. It’d been a long time since his touch had made her feel….frightened. Plus the look he had as he did it. She hadn’t seen that look in a long while.
‘Sorry’ he said, his voice hoarse.
‘I was just checking to see if you woke up. And then I thought I’d tidy up…’
He took her hand and pulled her slightly to sit next to him ‘Did I hurt you?’
‘No’ she halfsmiled, rubbing her shoulder
‘I was sound asleep’ he said rubbing his eyes, then shaking his head once
‘You should probably get somemore sleep then’
she sat up and went to put his clothes on an armchair. As she looked back at him, he saw him stand up and almost trip over his shoes, which she hadn’t had thechance to pick up.She smiled. She realized that she’d never seen him wake up before. He was always the first one to rise and shine. Also, he was also the tidiest of the two. You could never tell someone was even using his belongings, he’d always keep them neatly organized. He’d never misplace anything.As she was contemplating all that, he slowly approached her. She looked at him and was surprised to see his eyes, they looked particularly dark.
‘What’s the matter?’ he said when he noticed her expression had changed
‘What were you dreaming about?’ she asked He stared at her for a few moments
‘I can’t remember. Why?’She shrugged
‘I don’t know. Was just wondering how come you were so jumpy. Also, you have… ‘ she chuckled
‘Actually, never mind’He caught her hand gently
‘Batao’She looked up at him ‘Something’s… different about you’He frowned
‘I don’t know, I can’t put my fingeron it. It’s … that look in your eyes. Reminds me of something’
Don cleared his throat then placed his shoes neatly next to the armchair and as he left the guest bedroom, gave hera peck.Swara sat there, asking herself what that was all about.Don stepped into the bathroom in the master bedroom and turned on the shower. He didn’t even wait for it to get to the optimal temperature.
Being back in Berlin brought about old memories. Last time he’d been here, he was the king of the underworld. A life he left behind all for the sake of his new life together with Swara. Sure, he still had his antique jewelry business, which Sam helped manage. But drugs were off the table. Coming back here only awakened something deep inside, something he was reluctant to confront. He’d dreamt of his life as Don, and not as Donald D’Souza, the strict university professor that held MBA classes in London.
When he’d woken up, he was still in that mind frame and mistook her for some kind of enemy, hence the way he’d reacted. The look in his eyes, the one Swara had brought up, he knew that look very well. It was the look he’d see in the mirror every single day. Up until he decided to leave that life for good.He stood there, running his hands through his longish hair and letting the cold water hit his face, and contemplated this new dilemma.He expected coming back here would be interesting in regard to this aspect, but he didn’t expect he’d give it a second thought.
Yet, there he was, feeling claustrophobic in his own skin.As he stepped outof the shower, he bent over the sink and looked straight into the mirror.And sure enough, it was still there, the darkness that used to look back to him every day of his life, minus the past two years. As he searched his own eyes in the mirror, he wondered. Who was the professor? Why didn’t he have this look in his eyes? It was as if he’d awakened this alter ego he’s always lived with under the same roof. He was both professor D’Souza and Don, the number one drug dealer in the world.
Of course, the professor had always been there,under his skin, as well.Swara was the one to awaken him. He denied it for a long time till he admitted he’d fallen in genuine love for her and proved to be just as human as everyone else he knew. And it was not something he regretted, not at all. But so had Don always been there. He’d been there all along he’d been holding his MBA courses as well, revealing his presence every now and then both to his students, and everyone else he met for that matter. Only few knew he was Don, but those who had only known him as Donald D’Souza had met Don as well, unknowingly.He was just as much the king of the underworld as he was the university professor.
He always knew it,in the back of his head, just like an itch waiting to be scratched, that he would one day feel the need to go back to his old ways. He just didn’t feel it until now, arriving back in Berlin. It had just begun to itch, and it was unbearable.It’d be so easy to go back to that life. Swara wouldn’t even have to know. As he thought about that, he stepped away from the sink, looking at his own reflection as if it’d just talked back to him.
‘Uhm, Don?’ he heard Swafa knock on the door
‘Haan’ he cleared his throat
‘I’ll be just out’He opened the door to the bathroom, forgetting he was wearing absolutely nothing, and startled Swara When he saw her reaction he reached for a towel and placed it around his waist. For two people that hadn’t been intimate for 5 months, it was an unfortunate slip. He should’ve been more careful.
‘Uhm, I was just wondering what I should wear, you said you’d make plans for this evening?’A smile turned a corner of his mouth. As he looked to his right he saw the walk in closet and remembered the very first time he’d picked something for Swara to wear.He looked around and sure enough, he found the exact same outfit he’d picked for her the first time.A black satin dress shirt, a pair of skinny jeans and red pumps.Swara bit her lower lip. She blushed, and asked
‘Aren’t you forgetting something?’
He smiled a sensuous smile and then opened the lingerie drawer, taking out a matching red bra and panties.Her blush deepened and he looked at her lustfully. He missed her. All of her. Seeing her blush like this got his hopes up, and something else as well, and he saw her noticing it as well.He didn’t want to push it, so he handed her the clothes and the pumps and went ahead to pick something for himself as well.she would normally dress in front of him, and even put on a littles how for him as she did it. But she hadn’t ever since the miscarriage.
She’d find some place else to dress whenever they had to get dressed simultaneously. As he went through his clothes, he waited to see if she’d stay and dress there, or if she’d leave.
‘I’ll just go take a shower as well’He sighed inaudibly. But he turned and looked at her ‘You smelled like pomegranate earlier. Didn’t you take a shower already?’She touched her neck cautiously.
A little gesture he recognized over time as being a sign of dishonesty. She touched her neck ever so slightly every time she lied,small lies, of course, but still she didn’t know he’d figured out that about her pretty early on.
‘No, it must’ve been the hand soap. They’re probably from the same set’ she half smiled and then left for the bathroom.
Don sighed again. It was really unfortunate that his wife had to take another shower just so she could come up with an excuse not to change next to him.
‘So, what do you think?’ she said pirouetting in front of him as she met him in the living area.He quickly scanned her head to toe, enough for his blood to warm up and raised an eyebrow
‘You look even more beautiful than you did 2 years ago’She blushed. She knew he was honest. He wasn’t the kind to give free compliments.
‘And where’s the guitar?’ she asked,tongue in cheekHe chuckled as hesat up
‘Haven’t played it in a long while’She looked at him and her breath caught again. He had that look in his eyes, the same as earlier when she’d woken him up
‘Maybe you should pick it up again. It was so you’Don searched her eyes. Did she really knew what he’d been referring to, earlier? Either way,the way she said it made him uneasy
‘You’re in luck. You get to drive the convertible Mercedes again’She raised her eyebrows
‘Oh, is that so?’
‘Yes, I’m surprised we still have it. It’s an old model by now. But your red pumps match it so well, I didn’t have the heart to get rid of it’She bit her lower lip. What was it about him that made her tingle, all of a sudden? As they rode the elevator down to the garage and got into the Mercedes, she couldn’t stop thinking something was different. They’d decided for one oftheir favorite restaurants in Berlin, and as she drove, wind ruffling her hair, she couldn’t get the idea out of her mind.
What was different? Was it good, different? Was it bad, different? She didn’t even know. Don had always been more than she’d hoped for. He didn’t turn all mushy after turning into the respectable professor, not at all. He was still very much himself. He was still dark and oh so very hard to read. She still didn’t know what he was thinking most of the times.She still knew how to let him be by himself, she knew when not to ask questions and not to impose. He still had days when he’d barely say anything at all and others in which he’d be in a romantic mood and write her poems, and do small little gestures that left her breathless.
He still had those nights when he wouldn’t let her sleep at all, others when he took interest in every little thing she’d change around the house and others when he played the father figure and not let her leave the table until she finished her breakfast.But she hadn’t seen that look in his eyes in a long time. That look when she’d feel reluctant to make a move. Any move. That look when she didn’t know at all what he was thinking, or what he was about to do or say.
That look only Don had, which made her cheeks turn hot pink and her blood boil. It was a mix of lust, fear, anticipation, curiosity.When they reached a roundabout, he said
‘Turn left here, darling’
‘But the restaurant is straight ahead, na?’
‘Yeah, but I’ve changed my mind’She raised an eyebrow. Fussy as always, she figured, some things never do change. It made her feel more at ease, and almost smiled at that realization After further indicatio Swara understood where they were going
‘Are you seriously doing this?’
‘Would I joke about something like this?’ he looked at her, in all seriousness she burst out laughing. It was literally music to Don’s ears. A sound he’d longedto hear
‘I can’t believe this!’ she said as she parked the car
‘Neither can I, but hey, it’s only for the sake of the assignment’
‘Yeah, right!’ she giggled
‘Ever the obedient’
‘That’s me’ he smiled playfully and suddenly his look turned into a very intense one she was taken aback. She was used to this kind of “mood swings” but lately he hadn’t gone from one extreme to another as rapidly.She felt her heart gallop and decided to enter McDonalds while he didn’t change his mind about that, as well
‘Ah, the smell of victory’ she inhaled
‘Or artificial meat, but there’s a thin line’She elbowed him
‘You’re so not ruining this for me’
‘Please, by all means’ he gestured for her to approach the counters
after she ordered what Don was sure had to be at least half the menu they offered, they waited for their order to process.
‘I’m sorry. I couldn’t help but notice, you’ve been here before, right?’Don and her blinked at the girl behind the register
‘Yes, you argued over ordering a BigMac or not for the gentleman’ she said in a Germanized English and blushed, her look lingering on Don alittle longer than swara found acceptable
‘You’ve got that right, sweetheart’Swara raised her eyebrow when the girl bit her lower lip and giggled, all the while gazing at Don dreamily. She rolled her eyes, figuring it was natural that she would remember Don.
‘Coming right up’Swara raised her eyebrow even higher, looking over at Don who playfully raised his eyebrows noddingin mischievous assessment at the young woman’s allusion.She rolled her eyes again and went to find a place to seat, while Don waited for their order to
“come right up”Don cleared his voice ‘Something the matter, darling?’She shrugged, jumping on the fries immediately. Was she really jealous of a silly cashier? No. But either way, she hadn’t seen Don flirt, mockingly or otherwise, with another woman since before they were married.
‘Did you lose your sense of humor at McDonalds?’ he asked
‘You may want to find a more appropriate place for that, just saying!’ he chuckled
‘I was thinking of sparing you the pleasure of eating a BigMac, but I’ve suddenly, and unexpectedly changed my mind’
‘Oh, lucky me’ Don leaned against his backrest
‘But I can’t take advantage of your generosity like that’
‘Oh, but I insist’Don sighed audibly ‘Well, it would be unchivalrous of me to refuse. And I can’t display bad manners at a place like McDonalds, can I?’
‘It’d spoil your reputation, professor’
‘But nobody knows I’m a professor here’ he shrugged.. ‘The cashier knows me as Don’ he emphasized his name in a manner that sent chills up her spine. She looked at him and for a split second she saw the same man that would always talk about himself in 3rd person, and this time it wasn’t at all different.
‘Well, you’re Don’
‘Am I?’She nibbled at her fries ‘Who else would you be?’‘Who is Don? Who is Donald?’She stopped chewing and looked at him questioningly. He had a really serious look on his face. Was he really debating this?
‘They’re one and the same’ she finally said ‘The man I love’ she added, with a shy smile His look softened and he leaned in
‘That he is. And he loves you’She suddenly felt too emotional, the commercial music and the children’s laughter seemed to fade. She felt like kissing him but she hadn’t in awhile, and she didn’t want this to be the setting for it. As she gazed athis full, sweet yet oh so manly lips she tried to remember when was the last time she’d really kissed him.
He backed off a bit and held his BigMac, unwrapping it and taking a bite. She knew what that meant to him and it made her smile. He’d always do whatever it took for her.
Driving back to the Amber Residential Tower, Swara had a different question on her mind. So far, they had retraced their steps accordingly.But does he intend to go all theway? Back when they first came in Berlin together, he’d taken her out to tango.Which led to further…interesting, to say the least, activities.
Swara bit her lower lip. This was her husband, she missed him, she missed being physical with him, especially since their relationship had always been so raw and s*xual,even back when they hadn’t slept together. It was that raw magnetism that pulled them closer and closer everytime.
But now, something was blocking this force and she didn’t know how to get over it.She was so thankful to him for keeping his distance for the past 5 months, but also, she was worried. In a sense, she wished he’d had just pushed her a little into it. She’d have been upset at first,maybe, or a little disappointed, but then she’d have realized just how right he was to give her a little nudge. He’d done that in numerous different aspects, when maybe she hadn’t been sure of herself, but he’d insisted and then everything would turn out to be just the way he’d say they would.
For instance, decorating their house in London. She was apprehensive at first, she wanted the both of them to work on it. But Don was adamant that she should do it all by herself.Of course, she could always ask for his opinion buthe was clear that it’d be her project entirely.And it turned out great, she’d actually enjoyed the process so much that she found herself redecorating one room every few months.But sometimes, she knew best. For instance, when she really wanted to start her martial arts courses. Don was apprehensive at first. Sure, he wanted her to do something she loved, but she didn’t need to work. He was very clear about that. She assured him it had nothing to do with money, and everything to do with her passion for martial arts and also, they both knew it meant she could spend time around kids, since they couldn’t have any of their own.She was also worried of a different aspect.
Don loved her, she had no doubt about that, but he was a man, at the end of the day, that too- a very attractive, charming, alluring man. She didn’t even want to think about all the young students at the university drooling over their hot professor. Or about all his female clients that were just using expensive jewelry as a pretext for meeting him.
This business he still ran with Sam had grown extremely profitable and although it was low key and not out there, in the open, their meetings were booked well in advance. Don and Sam also had to travel a lot for the sake of collecting rare gems. She just hoped that meant just precious metals and stones.She had never thought about this aspect, not until her miscarriage. Not until they stopped having s*x.
Because everything had always been so incredibly great on that front, that shedidn’t even stop towonder if he was cheating on her. He was giving her 200%, and she just knew they had it so well that there wouldn’t be any reason for him to seek anything outside their bedroom. Or staircase. Or kitchen floor. Or dining room table. Or Jacuzzi. Or…-
‘Hm?’ she flinched
‘You missed the right turn’
‘Oh. Oh! I’m sorry’ she shook her head slightly gripping the steering wheel tighter ‘I guess I didn’t realize I should take it’
He sighed. She knew he didn’t believe her. He could always read her so well. ‘What’s on your mind, sweetheart?’
‘Kuch nahin’ she shrugged
‘Don’t do that. Tell me.Please’She kept her eyes on the road
‘I guess… I was just wondering… I mean, will be going out this evening?’
‘Yeah, um… You know, like last time. Dancing’
‘Tango?’ she could sense a playful tone in his voice
‘Slow down’She had been stepping on the gas absent mindedly, so she hit the breaks hard and made the car come to a sudden halt, causing the vehicles behind her to start a commotion.She pulled over and sighed, resting her forehead on the steering wheel
‘Chalo, I’ll drive’ he said calmly, and she didn’t even try and convince him that everything was ok. It wasn’t. There was so much on her mind. She shifted onto his seat and he circled the car and sat on the driver’s seat.As he started the car, he calmly asked her
‘So you want to go out dancing?’She placed a strand of her hair behind her ear
‘Sure, I mean… if you want to’He smiled back at her, and she knew he was not so happy to hear her so unsure of herself
‘I’d really like that, actually’ she nearly whispered
‘It’s a date, then’ he gave her one ofhis dimpled smiles she sat in the walk in closet, wondering what she could possibly wear that evening. She felt like she should make the effort and look extra special for him that night. A lump formed in her throat, she didn’t want to think about was actually going on in the back of her mind, her blood would begin to boil just at the hint of a possible night together with her husband, at last.
But was she ready? Where they ready?As she was putting on her jewelry, handpicked by none other than Don himself, she saw Don in the reflection, right behind her, sitting in the doorframe. How long had he been there for? She hadn’t sensed him coming, she was so deep in thought.She looked at him in the reflection, and tried to read his expression. It was so intense that she almost feared to look back at him. She could read a million things in those eyes, starting with love, desire, longing, lust, adoration, and the list could go on and on.She slowly turned and stood up, facing him
‘So… is this appropriate?’He scanned her head to toe, and she felt even shire than she remembered feeling when he’d do that as she wasn’t wearing anything. The way he caressed every inch of her with his look made her blush deeply
‘I’m at loss for words, sweetheart. I’m already jealous of everyone that will get to see you tonight, beside me’Her red, fitting dress with loose shoulder sleeves was a good choice, she gathered, and as he approached her, he gently touched her earrings that she knew he especially liked.He then gently caressed her jawline and it felt as if time ceased to exist when he looked deep into her eyes
‘Let’s go before I ruin our assignment’
he said huskily She bit her lower lip, understanding exactly what he’d meant by that, and they strolled the apartment hand in hand.Don was looking dashing as always. She was again taken aback by how elegantly he carried himself.He would take her out dancing on many occasions. He knew all the select venues that were serving excellent food and played finely tuned music for them to dance. She was no longer intimidated by people watching, because now dancing came very naturally to her, as Don was leading.
When they finally reached their destination she was taken aback. After a long ride on the elevator, the whole city was on display, and to top it all off, there was a single candle lit table on the spectacular roof top location Don had picked for their evening out.She gasped, taking it all in, and got all teary eyed, but knew Don would disapprove of them so she inhaled deeply and smiled ear to ear
‘This is so beautiful’Music was coming from somewhere, and it seemed as though the whole place was surrounded by an entire orchestra ready to play whatever their heart desired. It was extremely intimate. It was just the two of them, yet the whole of Berlin was at their feet.
‘I’m glad you like it’ he said, kissing her hand reverently She grinned
‘I wasn’t expecting this’
‘To tell you the truth, it was kind of last minute. When I saw you looking as gorgeous as you do, I really was not ready to share the view with anymore’ he said on a rather serious tone, his eyes darkening slightly She loved the way jealousy made Don all the more intense. He led her to the table, candles and flowers adorning the rest of the terrace.As she sat down she looked around
‘You can see the whole of Berlin from up here’
‘Yet the whole of Berlin can’t see you’ he smirked
‘So it’s fine by me’She laughed and he smiled. He had missed that sound, and could not get enough of it. But that was not exactly what he had in plan for the night.
Don poured champagne for both of them and then regained his seat, and Swara raised an eyebrow
‘So what’s for dinner?’He grinned ‘Absolutely nothing’She furrowed her brows
‘How so? Isn’t this whole setting supposed to be a romantic dinner?’
‘No. It’s supposed be a pretext for me not wanting to share you with anyone’ he let her drink her champagne and then extended his hand
‘Care for a dance?’
‘Always’ she smiled He gently took her into his arms and they began slow dancing. No tango, no intricate footwork, just swaying slowly to the tunes of the nice music that was drowning the street noise from underneath As she rested her temple to his jaw, she inhaled. She felt so close to him after so long. His scent, his presence was enwrapping her slowly but steadily.He tightened his grip on her waist and bent slightly to her earlobe
‘There’s no room for words tonight. Forgive me’She tightened her embrace as well
‘I’ll say something,though’He nodded for her to go on
‘Please sleep with me tonight. Don’t go in the guest bedroom again, it breaks myheart’He slightly parted so that he could look at her attentively
‘I only did that as part of the assignment, sweetheart. You know that’She nodded and rested her chin on his shoulder, not wanting to have to face him
‘I know. But it’s not right’
‘I have a confession to make’ he cleared his throat and she didn’t dare look up into his eyes
‘It was actually easier to sleep separately, at least for me it was… Swara… It kills me within to have to sleep next to you, and not… touch you, caress you, kiss you. I’m reluctant to do even that much. Just… tell me where you draw the line and I’ll stop, but please. Don’t ask me to come back to bed and not be us.I miss you so much’ he tightened his arms around her and Swara hardly contained her tears.
‘I miss you too, Don. So much. but I am so scared. And I don’t know how to not be. There’s no line. There’s no rules. I want us to be us again. But I need you to guide me. Show me’He was silent for along while, but they kept swaying along all the while
‘We’ll take it slowly. Just, whatever you do, never go back to that place you’ve been and are just now coming back to me from… it was my mistake to let you leave in the first place, it was all my fault. I won’t ever allow it again.It’ll never happen’ he hugged her again ‘In my arms is where you belong. And in my heart. And whatever obstacles we shall face from now on, we’ll face them together, hand in hand. I won’t let you slip away again’
Tears were rolling down her cheek now
‘None of it was your fault. I’m not ready to talk about it just yet… but know this, and I mean it…’ she parted and looked into his eyes, and he was not pleased to see Her cey
‘I never once blamed you. And I didn’t mean for things to happen the way they did. If there’s anyone to blame, it’s me-‘
he wanted to interrupt her but she wouldn’t let him
‘But you are right’ she buried her face in his chest and hugged him ‘This is my home. It always has been. I never left. I never will’
He looked down at her and gently tugged on her elegant up do, letting her hair fall down in waves. He then removed his jacket and his tie and said
‘Let me make a call’ winking at her.
A few minutes later, they were entering a club.Swara grinned ‘What’s this?’He shrugged smilingly
‘I know how you love to dance. This is a more appropriate setting’
‘What about the whole of Berlin not being able to see me?’
‘I don’t care’ he kissed her knuckles and then brought her hand to his heart ‘You’remine’She bit her lower lip and then he led her in the middle of the dancefloor, amongst all the dancing young, fun loving people The song playing couldn’t have been more appropriate for them just then They began dancing smilingly and Swara even sang along, looking straight into Don’s eyes the whole time.
Heaven’s not to far to touch
You’re scared because you care too much
I will never give you up
I just can’t get enough
All of your time and such
So let’s not slow down the rush”
All eyes were on Swara but Don never looked around with a threatening look in his eyes, the way he would if he ever sensed somebody was ogling at his wife, because now his eyes were stuck on her and only her. And they danced for hours before heading back to the Amber Residential Tower.From the king sized bed in which he pretended to do his bedtime reading, Don watched Swara as she sleepily got out of the shower and busied herself around the house towel drying her hair and then letting it dry naturally to room temperature.
How young she looked,with all her makeup and expensive jewelry removed. A dusty rose bathrobe took the elegant red dress’s place and her fancy designer shoes were not replaced by fluffy slippers.Taking her out dancing to that club had proven to be the best idea. Seeing her so full of life again restored his hope in getting everything right back on track. He hadn’t seen her smile so much in a long, long while as she’d smiled that evening.She approached their bed and removed her bathrobe, revealing a simple silk nightgown.
A lesser man wouldn’t have appreciated the way it hugged her curves just right, but Don noticed right away. He always noticed her. He removed his reading glasses and gestured for her to climb next to him.
She nestled into his arms, like she would not so long ago, but it did seem like forever ago to him. Something had clicked that night and now it felt like he could finally breathe easily again.
‘Thank you for tonight’ she said as he turned off the nightstand lamp He chuckled softly
‘I’m so happy we ditched that terrace’
‘I loved the terrace as well’They were silent for a long while, then she added
He turned to face her and carefully circled her waist. He smiled at her and she smiled back, seeing him look so happy in the moonlight
‘Say it again’ he whispered
‘I love you’ she whispered back
‘Again’ he got closer
‘I love you’
‘Again’ he whispered AGAINST HER lips But she didn’t say it again. Instead, she touched his lips with hers and gave him a soft kiss.Don was obviously surprised. He was about to kiss her but she beat him to it. He grinned ear to ear and searched her eyes for approval. He then leaned in for a longer kiss, though still soft and delicate.
‘Your childish smile so full of tender charm Has power to quench this life drawn out in woe And fill my eyes with fire, my soul with calm I love you so.’
Finished writing it…I know u r getting boared with the track sorry for that I’ll try to make it interesting otherwise I’ll end it…
Ok so did you watched yesterday’s episode…I was laughing when kissan said
“DON KO PAKADNA MUSHKIL HI NAHI NAMUMKIN HAIN”I remembered Don’t of my ff…just imagine if Don will say the dialogue in kissan style how will it look??????