How are you all guyz…
Kya aap sab ne mujhe pehchnana….
Haha….itna bhi time nahi hua ke aap mujhe bhul jaaye he..
I know right now u all are eager to read the episode so I’m not going to waste your time
So let’s begins….
Recap: SwaSanSan patch up…
Swara stood silent in a corner. Silence engulfed her although it was just in her head, since the party was still going strong, the children ever energized to have as much fun as possible.
It was like watching a movie, where the frame is being shot in highspeed and the camera is on one person only, the rest going out of focus.
She looked at Don playing with Maya, and genuinely partaking in the games she was organizing with her friends. He never once looked irritated, disengaged or as though he was patronizing the kids.
On the contrary, he almost seemed to be having the most fun. His eyes seemed to sparkle, a beaming smile almost never leaving his lips.
Every once in a while he would look her way and give her a knowing look, the kind that filled her heart with warmth and love. He was grateful and he wanted her to know just how much.
But he also must’ve known how difficult this was for her, to sit and watch him with all the kids, none of which was his own,their own.
Her heart ached, and it was like a old wound had just been hit, bleeding out again.She tried to ignoreher own feelings and focus on his happiness, but she couldn’t help it, it overwhelmed her. She had put itall behind her, or so she’d thought. Turns out some wounds never heal.
As she kept following him with her eyes, she tried to ignore the question that kept popping up in her mind.
Would he want to give it a try again?She sighed heavily, her chest swelling. She knew why Don had gone back to his own ways. It had been mostly to make sure he isolated himself from ever wanting the life they had once had again. He knew that he’d be alone and would never go back.But even though he did go back, he’d asked her, he’d asked her very seriously and she made up her mind as to not have him turn around yet again.
Don was leading the life he’d always led. A life filled with power and control and as dark as it was, it was him. And she’d accepted that and now knew better that to mess with that side of him again. While a child would’ve been more than welcome into their lives when he was just professor D’Souza and owner of his antique jewelry business venture, there was absolutely no place to raise a child in the midst of his criminal activities.
Swara wasn’t kidding herself. She knew better than to ask, but she was certain that blood still dirtied Don hands.He never once led her to that impression, he was in fact the exact same man he’d opened up to be. Which only proved that his dark side had never really left him, even if he weren’t doing anything about it after they’d gotten married.
He was perfectly clear, she could ask him anything and he’d answer with absolute honesty. But he warned her as to be very careful what she asked, for that same reason. He wouldn’t lie to her.So be careful what you wish to know- he’d told her.
Somewhere along the way her eyes had lost track of him and just kept staring into space,contemplating it all. He kissed her cheek and she relaxed
‘Ready to go home?’
his voice was tender and calm. Not at all how he’d been right before they’d gotten there. She looked around. The party wasn’t over, but he’d probably noticed her mood
‘Already? Why? Go spend some more time with Maya’
‘I’ll be seeing more of Maya. Right now I want my wife’
Her heart pounded, he’d said it so tenderly yet determinedly. He held out his hand for her and pulled her off the arm chair.
As soon as they entered the duplex, he turned to her, with an urgency that she could tell he was very much trying to tone down. She bit her lip, trying hard not to make a silly joke reminding him that he’d promised to punish her, yet here he was worshiping her instead.
She soon forgot all about it, though, as he took his time thanking her again, and again and again, sans words.
As she woke up inthe middle of the night, her previous thoughts crept right back into her head. She looked up at him, he was sleeping soundly yet he was still holding her in his arms protectively as she nuzzled in the crook of his neck.
Her heart still ached remembering that only 3 months ago she was sleeping all by herself in a god forsaken apartment in Delhi.
She was so happy in his arms,she belonged there, she knew that with all her heart, in spite of everything that came between them, their bond was stronger than ever. But she couldn’t help but realize that he was most probably not as happy as she was.
Seeing him with Maya today reminded her just how excited he’d been to have a child. Reminded her just how heartbroken he’d been when she’d miscarried.
Back then she didn’t realize what she was feeling more sorry for- was it seeing him so torn apart, or was it her own suffering? She couldn’t tell. She hadn’t felt the need to be a mother until she’d become pregnant.But she was much younger than him.She felt him sigh heavily
‘What’s going on in my wildcat’s mind, hm?’
His husky voice felt like honey over her aching heart. She wanted to tell him, unburden herself, but she couldn’t. She didn’t want to go back there.She shrugged
‘I don’t know, just woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep’
‘Are you sure you don’t know?’
She nodded, trying to hold backher tears
He shifted so he was hovering overher, leaning on his elbow ‘Swara, talk to me’
She couldn’t help it, her eyes were watering and she knew he could seethem sparkle evenin the dark ‘I’m fine’ she whispered, her voice cracking
He took her hand in his and kissed it, placing it over his chest, over his heart, and with the one he was leaning on he slowly caressed her hair away fromher face
‘I love you’
She couldn’t fight it anymore. Tears began rolling down her face in a steady flow. She whimpered but didn’t cry out, still holding back, not wanting to make ascene. Maybe she could still pretend nothing was wrong, somehow.
‘I never want to see you cry, you know that’ he whispered soothingly
She nodded and with her other hand wiped away her tears clumsily ‘I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s gotten over me’He kept stroking her hair
‘I do. And you don’t really have to tell me, I know what you’re thinking. Don’t do this to yourself, sweetheart. Do I not make you happy?’
‘You know you do.That’s just it’
‘How is that it?’
‘Idon’t make you happy her voice cracked
He pulled her into his chest and she buried her face into him, sobbing. She couldn’t hold back anymore. It felt as though she was crying unshed tears for everything that had happened between them
‘Swara… please tellme you don’t mean that. Because if you do…’ she could feel his whole body tense
Swara tried to calm down and stay silent but she could feel his blood boil through his veins
‘I already hate myself for so much, Swara. But knowing that I fail to show you just how happy you make me is tearing me apart’ his voice was rougher, but he still held her tight
Swara didn’t know what to say, if anything, she just felt worse for not being able to keep this all to herself
He laid her back onto the pillow and looked her in the eyes intently ‘Listen to me. If you ever doubt that again, there’s no telling what I’ll do, swara. I mean it. I feel like smashing something. It infuriates me. Happy is not even a strong enough word. You make me whole.You breathe life into my soul. Without you I’m a dead man walking in the most literal way. I never want to be that man again, swars. That’s who I was before you, only then I didn’t know it. Now that I knew it, it was far worse.And to have you back and fail to show you just how much you mean to me? I can’t even tell you how much I hate myself for it’
‘Don, please…’ she wiped all her tears away and pulled herself closer to him
‘Don’t say that, it’s not you… I know you think I make you happy. But I know I don’t, because I can’t. I failed, and that’s what led us to this whole mess in the first place. If it’s anyone hating themselves, it’s me. I had a chance and I blew it. You give me everything and I couldn’t give you the one thing you ever wanted’
He bent and placed his forehead on her shoulder, breathing heavily as though trying to calm himself down. But he suddenly pulled back and got out of bed, clearly having not managed to.
Swara knew better than to follow him.He needed to calm down. She slowly eased back into the pillow and pulled the duvet to her chin. The only reason she was not crying anymore is because she was terrified of letting him see her cry again, plus she wanted to keep still and listen intently hoping to get a clue of what he was doing.
She needn’t have tried to keep quiet,the sound of a glass smashing against a wall echoed in the vast duplex, making her let out a scream.She pulled own her silk robe as she ran towards his study, recognizing the sound had come from there.She found him sitting at his desk,holding his hand in his palms while holding fistfuls of his hair in them.She eyed the pieces that had formed the now broken crystal glass on the floor. She approached him tentatively and gently placed her arms over his shoulder, soothing his bare skin.
Normally, she’d let him by himself, she knew how much he disliked it when she didn’t give him space whenever he was troubled. But now it was different. She could feel he needed her there.She kept caressing his skin silently until his shoulders jerked beneath her hands and she froze. He broke down crying, silently, but violently, and she couldn’t believe her eyes. He’d never seen him so vulnerable, so hurt, so desperate.It tore her apart.
She didn’t know what to do, she just froze staring at him cry, this grown man, this underworld king that instilled fear and made everyone’s blood turn to ice, was breaking down in front of her. Suddenly, he reached out for her and pulled her on his lap, and cradled her into his arms as he continued shaking silently, his head buried in the curveof her neck, as she caressed his temple .
She’d never seen him like this. Somehow, it madehim grow into her eyes. She suspected nobody had seen him like this, not even himself. The fact that he was stripping his soul like this in front of her made her realize just how much he loved her, and it was the manliest thing he could’ve ever done. And that realization made her heart flutter
He finally looked into her eyes, and for a split second it was as if she was looking at a different man. He looked so much younger, just then,so vulnerable, so lost. His big eyes searched hers and his hair was a mess, shadowing his forehead.
She pushed it back and kept caressing his hair in place. She then kissed him softly, soothing him and pulling him closer against her. He didn’t move, just kissed her back but it was enough for her to shift andstraddle him, in knotting her robe and pushing it over and off her shoulders.
Not waiting for him to react, she bent over and kissed him again, more feverishly, pushing him back into his chair as she became more desperate to clear all that tension between them. And he let her take control. She needed to show him what her words failed to express.
So sorry for too short update I was able to write only this much.I’m still busy but I’ll be back soon…sorry for not posting.
About the promo someone was there whose guess is correct but I’ll tell in next part…OK so someone I think her name is Chris sorry if I’m wrong aske personally a question so dear it’s just the way of don to express his love there is no logic behind it…sorry for not replying to u before…
Guyz I’ll try to reply to your comments if any doubt then ask me…
Love u all???
Credit to: IREENA