“I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,in secret, between the shadow and the soul.”
“here is the deepest secret nobody knows(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)”
“i like my body when it is with your body. It is so quite new a thing.Muscles better and nerves more.i like your body. i like what it does,i like its hows. i like to feel the spine of your body and its bones, and the trembling-firm-smooth ness and which i will again and again and again kiss, i like kissing this and that of you,i like, slowly stroking the, shocking fuzz of your electric fur,and what-is-it comes over parting flesh… And eyes big love-crumbs,and possibly i like the thrill of under me you so quite new.”
“I loved you like a man loves a woman he never touches, only writes to, keeps little photographs of.”
“I want to let her know though that all the nights sleeping beside her even the useless arguments were things ever splendid and the hard words I ever feared to say can now be said:I love you.”
She shut the journal and placed it back to its place with trembling hands.Suddenly she felt so helpless.She needed to get to him,she needed to apologize.She was such a fool. She dialed Sams number rapidly
Swara:Sam, don’t tell him it’s me.
Sam sounded worried
Karan:He’s not here…are you alright?
She wiped her tears away
Swara:Haan, listen… please tell me how I can reach him
Karan:…Have you tried calling him?
Swara:No, I don’t want to call him, I want to find him
Karan:Now, you know that’s not possible, Swara. What’s this I’m sensing? A fight?
She stood silentand Sam chuckled
Karan:I see, regarding the remark you made yesterday maybe?
She bit her lip
Swara:I didn’t mean for it to sound the way it did…
Karan:I know… but this isn’t something Don would just go missing for
Swara:Yes…there’s moreto it… please, Sam…
but she heard the entrance door andquickly whispered
then hung up she listened carefully but couldn’t hear him. She tiptoed towards the hallway when he spoke from behind her, startling her
Don:Who were you just talking to?
His voice was so cold that it sent shivers up her spine immediately. She turned to face him. She feared for Sam. Don looked furious and she didn’t want to put him in a tight spot
Don punched the door he was sitting next to,removing it from its hinges.Swara let out a scream as Don got quickly near her and grabbed her phone from her hands.He quickly checked the call log and pressed his lips into a straight, tight line.
He exhaled audibly and closed his eyes slowly, as if to recollect himself
Swara:I love you
she said bluntly. And it was all she could say. He opened his eyes and searched hers carefully
Don:There’s a strange quality in you that I can’t decide whether to love or to hate. I can’t even pinpoint it. You drive me mad and you make me addicted to it.
Swara slowly smile. Her smile widened and soon she was grinning ear to ear.
Don:You make me say I’m sorry, when really all I want is to …arghh!
he muttered smilingly as he grabbed her face and kissed her urgently.She responded instantly and he just parted for a few moments l
Don:Youneed to be taught a lesson.I know just the way
his eyes sparkled a devilish grin as he licked his bottom lip and began kissing her again, undressing her as he did so.All Swara could think of was that people were right when they said make-ups are the sweetest.Well, s*xiest, if anything.
Swara:I keep begging him to come and do it his own way, but he insists I decorate this house Swara sighed
Swara:And I suckat it… big time the placed her head in her hands sighing yet again.
Ragini kept pacing the huge room, eating an apple and chewing it audibly
Swara:I’ll try calling him again Swara said as she fished her phone out of her Louis Vuitton bag, one Don had personally hand picked for her wardrobe in London
Don:Hey darling… yea, that’s right… Well you know how I keep nagging you about it, it’s not fair!!!
Swara:Please?…You’re impossible,you know that?
she giggled and looked over at Ragini and was surprised to see her stare quite … weirdly at her ‘
Swara:Listen, you think about it, I’ll call you right back,
She hung up as she kept looking at her cousin
Swara:Ragini… is something the matter?She shrugged
and then threw the stub out the window Swara furrowed her brows. What had gotten into her?
Swara:…Are you sure?
Ragino shrugged again, sitting at the small improvised table, opposite Swara
Swara raised an eyebrow and stood up, taking her phone with her
Swara:Excuse me for a moment
and then left the room as she dialed Don’s number
Swara:Sorry about that. She is acting weird. She keeps saying it’s nothing but I can sense something is off.
Don:She’s not helping with the redecorating, I take it.
Swara:Definitely not. But you could.
Swara grinned as Don chuckled
Don:Sweetheart, we’ve been over this already. I want you to do it. I’ve done all my other homes, I want this one to have your touch
he said sweetly and Swara sighed
Swara:I’m just no good at it.I’m really not comfortable doingthis. Please, at least look over some of my ideas with me tonight
Don:Ok, it’s a deal. But I’ll have to charge… my services are pretty pricey
Swara bit her lip
Swara:Of course. We’ll discuss all your terms over dinner, what say?
Don:Sounds like a plan. I have to go, Sam just pulledover
Swara:Ok, see you tonight!
she hung up cheerfully and returned to her cousin
Swara:Finally I got him to agree
she grinned but ragini was still keeping her arms crossed over her chest, with a blank, slightly annoyed expression on her face
Swara:Care to tell me what’s going on? You’ve been acting like this for the past 2 weeks!
Ragini:Will you just drop it? Ragini finally said irritated.
Swara:No, I won’t! You’re my cousin, and my friend, and I care for you! Now, something’s been affecting you for the past few weeks, and I’m sensing it has to do with the guy you’ve been dating.
Ragini raised an eyebrow at her
Ragini:And what makes you say that?
Swara:Well, for starters, ever since I noticed that watch on your wrist you’ve been acting different. You started wearing makeup, dressing up, I even saw you in high heels once and you curl your hair now… Clearly you’re in love with him
Ragini:And what if I am?
She squint east her cousin
Swara:Well, he’s treating you badly, and I can tell
Ragini kept squinting and stood up, walking towards the window, giving her back to Swara
Swara:He is, isn’t he?
Ragini:No, he’s not
SwaravYes, he is. That’s why you’re not wearing the watch he gave you anymore. And that’s why you look like you’ve been crying all night
Swara said as she paced her way towards Ragiji, and leaned over the low window sill, next to her
Swara:It’s alright, Ragini… you can tell me. Why has he been treating you like that?
She had tears in her eyes but was trying hard to hold them back
Swara sighed.She was afraid her cousin might say that
Swara:Did he deceive you?Did you not know about her?
Ragini:I knew about her all along.I just thought I could win him over
Ragini was looking into the horizon now, singular tears falling slowly down her cheek Swara’s heart went out for her cousin.She desperately wanted to help her somehow
Swara:Did he make any false promises to you?…
Ragini:No.It was all in my head.I thought…I thought that if I could only make him love me…like he loves her…I’ll win him over,and then I could be happy.I deserve to be happy…that’s what he said, anyway…
Swara:Of course you do!
Swara furrowed her brows, pained to see her cousin so distressed.
To be Continued
Credit to: IREENA