The confession, NeSam FF [chapter 2]

previous chapter was from Neil’s POV and this from Sam. please pardon if there is any mistake.

Chapter 2 [ i can see it now]

…That night I asked you to end our friendship …
We were sitting on roof, cold air was blowing. It was very familiar. We often hang out on roof and chill with coffee but that night something was off. Something was different.. we were not joking around. We were just sitting in comforting silence. Our hearts were as heavy as stones.
As usual my head was on your shoulder. I tried to appear to be asleep in peace but you knew I was anything but asleep. I was learning close to you to hear your speeding heart rate. I could hear your every heart beat and heavy breath. I know you must be thinking why not I could understand your inner turmoil. Why not I could hear the cracking sound your heart is making whenever i am near you.. Yes you are right… i was too oblivious to see it through..but sometime i even ignored it even though your pain crawled up to my eyes. I ignored it. I could only see my distress..
I know that I treated you as bitter and cold as ice
I thought i would be in paradise with Arjun. On the edge of paradise i was fading in and out
My distress, my stubborn desire blackened all out. I could not think clearly no more. I was blind then Cause I was not thinking straight. My head was spinning around,I couldn’t see clear no more.
…But now I do…
yes, I can see it now
i can see all your pains and all my flaws as clear as glass now.
Ignorance is bliss but it turned out to be curse for us. I really wish that i wasn’t so ignorant. I wished i held you close to me and gave you an arm to lie on. I wish i knew you are breaking inside.
…But now I do…
yes, I can see it now
i can see all your pains and all my flaws as clear as glass now.
now i want to hold you close to me. Want to give you all the love you deserve and I almost did.
…i almost did…
…i was almost in the way to love you…
…and i was too close to love you…
But i stopped.
I stopped at the verge to love you
Because i had one thing undone this should be done before I take a step further. A house can’t be built on old bricks. It will be as fragile as house of cards. I need to clear all my past. I need to leave all of my darknesses behind so that they won’t bite us in future.
you asked me if i really wanted to do it. Then you said if i do it then you will not let me back. If you take step forward once then your idiot will go away forever.’ You add..
Isn’t it obvious Neil that Idiot has to go.. my idiot is my favourite person but my idiot is overshadowing my life, my Neil.
I said he has to go, Neil. For us he has to go. Our friendship became over prime enemy. If I have to take this step then i have to break our friendship.’
Don’t you see the Idiot and her samunder singh is only to share friendship and friendly love. Nothing more than that.
We have to break our friendship.
Our friendship became our prime enemy
And it will continue to be our prime enemy in our love life if it still be our prime priority.
is there no way to save this friendship’ you said without looking at my eyes but i manage to see a glimpse of you teary eyes. It was full of hope.
First thought that came in my mind is, “My god, he’s beautiful”
you were always beautiful but i never appreciated it.
I never cared
Cause until now I’ve never thought of you been so high.
I said if there is friendship there will be no place to love.’ You must me thinking that you know all whats going on in my mind
…cause…
you’re the only one that knows me
Better than I know myself
…but today i bet you are wrong…
I bet you think I will move on with Arjun.
But no Neil. It’s not Arjun. It’s you.
I wanna move on with you.
I wanna love you
I wanna give you all the love and care you deserve.
But you are not in fault to think that of me. It’s my fault. Every time you pulled me back to keep me in right and dignified place, i refused. I always mislead you and made you believe that my temporary darkened side engulf me. It was my fault to make you think like that.
You are not in fault
Cause each time you reach out to me there’s no reply
Yeah that’s the truth
I got kind of dark
I was obnoxious at times
I often lost my temper in front of you and others.
And I even crossed the line
I let it go too far.
I know it got hard all most all the time but I tried to pretend it didn’t matter
I tried to give it blind sight
Yeah that’s the truth
I got kind of dark
…But now I do…
yes, I can see it now
i can see all your pains and all my flaws as clear as glass now.
now i want to hold you close to me. Want to give you all the love you deserve.
I held your face up; still you were not looking into my eyes. But your teary eyes are letting some tears to escape. You never let me see you cry. You always rubbed my tears away. You were the joker who made me smile always.
But today you couldn’t control.
I can see you are trying but it’s not working.
You were crying your heart out
Now i can see how much damage i caused you.
yes, I can see it now
i can see all your pains and all my flaws as clear as glass now.
now i want to hold you close to me. Want to give you all the love you deserve
My God, if I could only say
I’m holding every breath for you
…i almost did…
…i was almost in the way to love you…
…and i was too close to love you…
But i stopped.
I stopped at the verge to love you
As i have to do something else before. First i have to leave all my darkness before.
i put my palm on your cheek gently, rubber a few tears that managed to escape your from your beautiful eye.
Yes your eyes are very beautiful
you were always beautiful but i never appreciated it.
I never cared
Cause until now I’ve never thought of you been so high.
I pleaded please Neil, you did so much for me. Please do this too, please.’
As habit, you said instantly anything for you. Anything.’
And my heart broke into thousand pieces.
You are the best thing, that’s ever been mine
i love you
And I wanna confess that i love you
…i almost did…
…i was almost in the way to love you…
…and i was too close to love you…
But i stopped.
I stopped at the verge to love you
…because…
I made quite a mess
And i have to make it alright.
i pulled my idiot into a hug. I am going to miss my idiot so much. I am going to miss our friendship so much but it’s time that our friendship takes a backseat.
i will miss you very much idiot. I will miss very much’ i cried
You do whatever you want just remember one thing. My friendship will always stay with you.’ You said. You was breathing heavily then … i could hear my your heartbeat. I knew the pain you are feel..
Like a unknown force constricting your heart.
Believe me, seeing you like this i am feeling the same.
Seeing you so broken cracking my heart
And my heart broke into thousand pieces.
You are the best thing, that’s ever been mine
i love you
And I wanna confess that i love you
…i almost did…
…i was almost in the way to love you…
…and i was too close to love you…
But i stopped.
I stopped at the verge to love you
…because…
I made quite a mess
And i have to make it alright.
We pulled apart from our hug. You said in a raspy voice’ samunder singh, from today our friendship ends.’ Thank you Idiot. Thank you very much.
I rubbed your constantly flowing tears but i knew i wasted enough time. I have to finish my work soon. Then determinedly I rubbed my own tears desperately off my face and stood up and started walking away.
You called me back. Asked me where I was going.
I turned around and looked at your broken state.
Please don’t give me that look. That look can freeze my feet to ground.
I have to go for now
But i promise i will be back to my actual paradise, by your side
i stood there then walked away leaving you behind
But i promise i will be back to my actual paradise, by your side
So wait for me
You never let me down
No matter what I say
You were always there for me so,
…please…
So don’t let me down this time as well.
…because..
If you were gone
For even a day I wouldn’t know which way to turn
Cause I’m lost without you.

Credit to: Tanu

9 comments

  1. U did best dear πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ it’s ready awesome πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ loved it πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ take care πŸ™‚

  2. Roma

    Wowwww awesome tanuuuuuuuu. …again you made me cry…several times in one day. ..sam’s pov…very brilliantly narrated. ..nobody did it yet so well as you did it for this show….last epi as neil n this epi as sam…wowwww mind blowing talent….you nailed it my honeyyy. …I wanted to see the “love confession of nesam” which the real show brutely chopped off….I always loved this pair in this show….along with ardhika…nesam had equal importance….but somewhere the cvs always cut their roles n made them missing their beauty……now we’re luckyyy to see those missing parts with help of true and like you n renuuuuuuu….keep it up. eagerly waiting for the next episode, love you loads. . muaaaaahhhhhh

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