Breaking the silence – part 17
From the time she was in the final years of her MBBS, she has somehow decided she was not going to be a mum this soon. She thought it would be when she was satisfied with her work, when she would be a little more confident about all the things….gosh, she had to apply for the M.Ch too,
“Now, get ready for becoming a mother first, then you would have no time for anything. Why it was hard for a girl?”
She was sure she wasn’t ready for it, they could go for the abortion as it confirms, there was no harm in that if it was done the earliest.it would be less of a sin.
“but a sin is a sin, think about all those who cannot conceive, and what about they never allowed her to do that and above all if he wanted to keep the baby, yeah it was him too who mattered.”
She kept thinking all the rationals and irrationals and felt her whole world collapsing, now she too would be among one of them who couldn’t take care at the right time and life changed forever. and suddenly she felt suffocated and her breaths rose, searching for the reason she trembled when he slid the glasses down and she looked to him dumbstruck trying to understand this.
“Your breaths were raising, felt you were uncomfortable due to the packed cab.” He said watching her moves.
“yeah, you did right.” She mumbled and again started getting lost in her own thoughts when she found him taking her hand from her lap and intertwining their fingers assured her.
Like that one day she felt his warm palms calming her, like she wasn’t confident about the current happenings but she felt the nervousness was going. (the same feeling like the engagement night).
She wasn’t normal from the time they left the hospital corridor, if he was right she was counting something in her finger creases and he knew about what she was upset and it was one big blunder they have made but it happened in the moment and they weren’t ready about all the things.
And well, it just doesn’t happen in one night. But the research he did on his phone said it was possible.
Maybe she was afraid about her career plans, he remembered how she was contemplating on which hospital to choose, she was excited about it. And now she was that upset that she didn’t think about opening the glasses entering the cab.
They needed to talk as they reach home and without delay. He was sure together they would sort it out.
He had asked about ordering something but she had denied and said she wanted to cook. Perhaps…. she wanted the distraction.
And here she was stirring the curry with no zeal; her thoughts were only around that one thing. And suddenly the pressure cooker started spilling the water and she came to her world and ran to manage that. “In her thoughts maybe she added too much water to cooker than required, now she just prayed it wasn’t spoiled.”
He didn’t say anything when the rice were a little too sticky and ate without a word. She has offered to fix something quick but now he had denied.
She couldn’t eat more than a few morsels, there was no appetite left. She wanted to talk about it, her mind was bursting with the thoughts and she needed to voice it out soon.
She knew he had sensed her condition and maybe he too was tensed that’s why he was quiet. But what was going to change for him …nothing. Here she have to go through every change be it physical, be it mental or be it psychological, she would have to start thinking herself as a mum, would have to think more about her, would be calm so her BP doesn’t rise unnecessarily. And this thought suddenly raised her BP and her spoon collided with the plate a little too noisily than normal.
And she felt his eyes on her. Unable to pretend anymore she left the table hastily mumbling she was done.
Leaning on the bed he thought to call his mother, he suddenly wanted her to be here .she had every solution also she was a woman so maybe she could have helped her better Cause here the one certain woman wasn’t in her senses and he didn’t know how to start the topic, he was never this baffled that he was unable to start a talk.
Finally when it felt she wasn’t coming to the bed as she opened the balcony door and stepped inside he called her, “Krishna, we need to talk.”
She stilled in the movement and when she didn’t move back he tried pulling himself out of the bed and hearing the shuffling she turned and stopped him, “hey, no need to leave the bed, I am coming.”
Hey guys , next part updated. it’s short cause I need time for a few things to be fully sure about. And sorry about the scene I have skipped in this chapter I said I was coming with. Maybe in next update.
Hope you like it, will be waiting for your response.With love Morusya.