Chapter- 9 ( A Friend Is For Forever)
Silence was her only solace now. She withdrew herself from talking and thankfully Dev understood it. All the way to his apartment they remained mum and strained. She was sorry that their friendship was costing in all this drama of her life. How selfish had she become. It’s all about her everytime. What about his life. What was going on with him.
But, tonight, she was tired to the bone. Emotionally haggard. She couldn’t bring herself to manage even small talk. If she did, tears and sobs wouldn’t stop. In silence they treaded upstairs. Dev showed to a room, which she planned to stay temporarily. Something broke inside her looking at it, the walls, the bed, windows and everything. Hardening her jaw she entered into the bathroom and showered.
Sam slid down inside the sheets and as immediately she did, her body curled to the left side. Tears burned her eyes and she started to cry heavily. Her hands searched around the sheets desperately for something to hold on to but she neither encountered warmth or the hard surface of his shoulder. She moved her head into the pillow to muffle the sobs rising deep from within her chest.
She shouldn’t have persisted. She should have left when he warned her. She couldn’t bear this much of pain. The break of her heart was piercing into the soul and bleeding her to death. Her left hans fisted the covers as she cried hard and deeply. God, it hurt. It hurt like hell.
She jumped a little when a knock on the door silence her sobs.
“Sam, come out and have something. Don’t go to bed empty stomach.” Dev’s voice came across from the closed door.
Sam gulped down the tears and put the back of her hand to cover her mouth to stop the sounds to travel out.
“I..I..I’m coming.” She replied through the sob, trying hard to sound normal.
She heard him hesitate near the door but he went away after a minute of silence.
Sam hurried out of the bed. Moved to and fro and tried hard to wipe away the ever flowing tears with the back of her left hand. She washed face twice vigorously.
Hee feet treaded slowly out of the room and she reached the kitchen but avoided Dev’s eyes. He came around the kitchen counter and put a plate on it. It was filled scrambled eggs and toast and beside it was a cup of coffee. He drew back without a word and moved to the sink washing the utensils. The flow of water from the tap and sounds of plates being cleaned was the only thing that vibrated around.
Sam took hold of the fork from beside her right hand. She forked some eggs and pushed it in her mouth unwillingly.
A smile touched her lips.
“You make good scrambled eggs, Neil and…” She started to say, but froze as immediately the words left her lips.
The sounds of washing stopped abruptly as Dev too stood there frozen to the floor. A sudden slicing hurt pierced her body and suddenly she couldn’t breath. She locked her jaw hard.
Sam put the fork down feeling nauseous and breathless.
“I..i’m..I’m sorry…I just need some fresh air..” She got up the bar stool hurriedly and turned around.
“Sam…” She heard Dev’s low gruff voice.
She cut him off.
“I will be alright…I just..” Tears brimmed up again and burned her eyes and throat before she could she say any further.
She ran fast and out of the apartment in a sobbing mess. Her limbs strained with the excessive force she put while running. She could feel the air zap thousands of cold needles into her body in the process.
God, why was it so cold. Her breath caught in her lungs and it was hard to let go of it. She didn’t know how long it was she changed lanes and aisles of number of streets but her desperate feet seem to propel her body somewhere.
Finally her weak muscles gave up and she held her knees to not fall over on the hard surface face flat. Deep hard breath left her lips and she took it gulps of air. Black dots appeared in her vision but she shook her head hard to not fall unconcious.
She straigtened after ten more minutes of strainful breaths. Her eyes went up and she reeled back.
She bit her lower lip hard looking at the place that she had come to. Anxiety swirled again and the pain doubled in miserable measures.
Neil’s apartment. The only place that brought hell in her life right now. Her eyes widened looking at the dull lit hall through the large window. She could see shadows of two people. She could assume the figures anywhere in the world. Of whom the shadows belonged. Two silhoutte’s were pulled close. Real close. Bile rose up in her throat. Was it not enough torture already that she was seeing this now.
Both of her hands curled into fists. This was like a punch straight to the gut. She gasped hard and her feet moved back unsteady.
Her eyes closed tight and she turned around immediately unable to bear anymore of seeing that.
No. She can’t do this. What a mess she had got into. Why was it so hard to look? Why can’t she breath? No. No. This can’t happen. She wasn’t a weakling. She needed to do something to let go. To let go of it completely.
She can do it. For god’s sake, for her own sanity she needed to do something before it breaks her and everything altogether.
She heard hard footstep sounds. Running feet. Getting closer.
The next second from the another street she saw Dev walking fast towards her.
He was breathing hard. He was wearing black track pants and a grey hoodie.
Sam shivered feeling cold inside and out.
He drew closer and stopped standing before her. His eyes wild trained on her figure and went around over her shoulder.
His gaze became wounded looking down at her again.
“Sam..” He extended his hand, but walked past him fast.
“I’m fine.” She cut him off fiercely and walked slowly back to his apartment.
She heard a hard suffering from behind her.
“God deliver me tonight.” He muttered a prayer under his breath.
Sam put her hands around her waist while walking trying to protect herself from the weakness that seem to call onto her senses incessantly.
“Here, it will keep you warm.” She heard him whisper softly while he put his hoodie around her shoulders.
Sam tried to protest.
“But what about…”
Dev came up beside her. He had a thin grey t-shirt. He was going freeze to death in that.
Sam tried to romove the hoodie but Dev caught her hands firmly. His face all lined in concern drew closer down to her eyes. He looked worried and Sam felt immediate guilt eat at her for putting him through all this.
His silky straight haid fell over his forhead and eyes.
“Just let it be, alright.” He said again shortly in exasperation.
Sam blinked into his soft green eyes.
“Alright.” She mumbled in a low tone.
Dev put around his hand over her shoulders and pulled her closer.
Sam sagged back into his embrace.
Sam kept staring at the table cloth for a long while now. People chattered away. Dev was talking. Kanishka too was there. Two of their other mutual friends were too around the table. Divya and Dhruv. Both of them into art and paitings. Sam had met them in the work shop and since then it was less lonely here in the foreign premises.
But now, it seemed nothing mattered. Everything was scattered. Her thoughts were empty.
It has been a week, seven days, 168 hours, 10,080 minutes, 604800 seconds since she left him and she did not miss him at all. Not once. In fact it has been a breeze. The time passed as if it was just yesterday it all happened. She wasn’t sad. She wasn’t forlorn. She wasn’t into charade like that over him. Nothing. She felt nothing. For him she had no emotions left in her heart. Her throat closed up. She wasn’t going to cry thinking of his face. Thinking how only his smile would melt all the problems into nothing. She didn’t feel like running to find ways to talk to him. To be in his company constantly. To forget herself from the safety and confidence he provided in her. It was all finally, isn’t it and it didn’t kill her slowly thinking that she couldn’t be with him. That every minute was hard to breath.
“Sam!” Dev’s sharp voice travelled into her ear and she jumped a little.
“What?” She asked looking around, shuttering her eyes to normal.
Trying hard to not show the crumble of everything that is happening inside her.
All of them were looking at her expectantly possibly waiting for her to join in the on going discussion.
She sat up straight in the seat.
“I…” Her eyes did not look around more than a second.
She understood the sympathy sighs and forlorn expressions they put on. The awkward silence persisted until Dev strayed their attention to something else.
Another day later.
Sam stirred the chicken noodles with a spatula with her right hand. The other one was busy rotating a spoon around another pasta container.
She busied herself to make pot roast too. Since morning she had been at it. Cooking until her feet hurt but moved around to check on the pudding she put in the oven.
She heard footsteps sounds tread into the kitchen. She looked up and smiled at Dev who had held his hands over the counter. He looked over the dishes quizzically. Sam wiped her hands over the apron.
“Your favorites. Everything.” She murmured smilingly.
Dev had on a black t-shirt and blue ripped jeans. His face was clean shaven and he seemed ready to go out.
Sam avoided his shadowed eyes. She heard him sigh.
“You haven’t been asleep for a week now, Sam. You don’t look well. You need rest…a little sleep.. I’m worried…”
“Do you think the pudding is yummy. I’m making another batch of the cups.” Sam cut in hastily and unaffected.
Another sigh travelled into her ears.
She moved around the kitchen and took of the tray from inside the oven.
“I have been waiting to taste the coconut cookies I made. I hope you like them and..” She moved heavy tray over the counter but as she slid it around the heavy fig jam jar fell off it and went crashing down on the floor.
The sound was so loud and it vibrated hard around the walls. Sam gasped as glanced down at the mess on the floor. The glass pieces were everywhere. Oh, god, can she not get more clumsy.
Tears of frustration burned her eyes. She held her head and bent down to collect the mess.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it to break the jar..God, Dev, I really sorry…I…” She started to collect the broken pieces.
Dev came around cursing heavily under his breath.
” God damn you, stop giving explanations. You did not break some antique crap to go pieces over it. It’s a bl**dy jam jar that’s all. Leave it. I’ll clean the floor.” He muttered annoyed thoroughly and caught hold of her hands firmly.
Sam slid her watery gaze up into his green eyes. He stared back in understanding. She held his hands tight. Her body started to shake with the effort to keep it together. The last vestige of her pride shattered into bits
“I can’t do this.” She said shakenly…..Her eyes slid down to the mess on the floor and sobs broke her voice…”I can’t do this, Dev. I can’t breath. It hurts. Oh god, I can’t seem to do anything about it. It’s killing me.” Her head bent down to take in deep breath but her throat closed up not allowing it. Tears burned a heavy trail down her cheeks. She knew her nails bit into his wrist but she couldn’t let go…”Do something. Please do something before I die of the pain, Dev…” She cried bending her head almost to the floor.
She was roughly shaken by the shoulders as Dev let go of the tight hold of her hands.
“Stop it, Sam. I can’t see you in this state.” He muttered hoarsely.
She looked up surprised to see his eyes water and well up red. His face shadowed in torturous pain glancing all across her face.
“Wh..Why are you crying?” She asked through broken whisper.
He pushed her head on his left shoulder and held her tight in his arms.
Sam sagged into his embrace.
“Because you’re crying.” He muttered in a gruff voice.
His hand slid over the back of her head soothingly.
Sam broke into another set of tears.
“I’m sorry, I made you cry.” She sniffled.
His body vibrated with humourless laugh.
“It’s too late for that now, isn’t it.” He muttered chuckling a little.
“I’m sorry for everything.” She mumbled clutching his t-shirt tight.
He sighed exasperated.
“Stop apologizing. It’s irritating me now, my dear honey bear.” He said in a sour voice now, but she knew his tone tried to lighten the moment.
She grabbed onto it feeling thankful that he stuck to her through a very hard time in her life.
Sam snorted a laugh through the tear immediately.
“Oh, god, that was so cheesy, Dev. Is that how you’re wooing girls now.” She mumbled beating her palm on his chest teasingly.
The tense air evaporated after the healing tears dissolved and disappeared between the warmth of their friendship.
Sam did not restrain herself from speaking her heart competely. She poured out everything to Dev. The two friends sat side by side on the floor talking everything and anything clearing the heavy burden put on their souls.
Long after that, her mind went into a little slumber but as soon as she fell into the darkness she panted anxious and awake sweating profusely and disturbed heavily with the nightmare she felt clawing at her skin. She was left in a gasping tearful mess. Sleep never came as it did before.
But suddenly it all went away as she felt a warmth clutch at her right hand. She was lying on the couch and Dev was on sprawled sat on the floor with his back to leaned on the couch. He was alseep and snoring and he had his left hand held tightly with hers.
Sam immediately felt the tears burn her eyes looking at him taking care of her like this. She had made him go through with her moody and roller coaster of snappy emotions. He didn’t once got angry at her or snapped. He was a good guy. A very good friend. Sam leaned and slid her hand over her head caressing his hair softly.
Sam packed everything. She didn’t forget a thing. Right now she stood before Dev and out side his apartment. She smiled a little at the scowl that stuck to Dev’s face these last two hours. He looked completely sulky and displeased. He didn’t want her to move out, but Sam needed to stay on her own now. She needed it badly. To explore herself without anyone hovering around her protectively. To think of it, the thought made her very happy. For the first time in two weeks she felt a little free in the spirit. Content. Independent. She was finally doing it, the exhilaration of being on her own and searching what it was out there, it was a soul deep heal feeling. She had the previous got a letter from some gallery to work on some art and right then without going through the paper, Sam grabbed onto the oppurtunity and that’s it. She decided to not anymore wallow in self pity like that ever. She had a chance to be travel someplace far and this was like a cool rain on a dried land. She wouldn’t let go it for the life of her.
She hated stagnancy and for since these past few days she had done nothing but stay in a quagmire. In a hurting mess.
“I don’t like this. I’ll take back the luggage.” Dev muttered firmly, and he tried to move past her.
Sam caught his hand before he could reach the taxi. She sighed heavily. Dev and his protective instincts.
“Dev, we have talked about this like about hundred times now. Please, let me do this. It will do me good. Please.” She said ardently in a request holding his hand.
He kept staring down at her and into her eyes for more than a minute intently.
His left hand closed around hers. He sighed too and closed his eyes. He slid his thumb finger under her eyes.
“Promise me that you’ll sleep, eat, and rest. You became so gaunt. Even a light gush of breeze will make you fall to the ground.” He mumbed softly.
Now he was exaggarating. Sam was about to roll her eyes but looking into the earnest expression he put on, she let it go.
She looked down at his right hand and up into his eyes.
“Alright I promise I’ll take good care of myself.” She put her hand in his.
He glanced down at their joined hands and then into her eyes untrustingly.
“If something happens I…”
Oh god not this again.
Sam slid up on toes and grabbed Dev’s shoulders.
“I will be fine. Don’t worry like this, if you do then I will be getting worried about you.” Sam replied firmly looking deep into his green foresty eyes.
He stared at her for more than a minute searching for what she did’nt know but Sam held firm.
He sighed finally smiling an unseeing one and shaking his head.
“You’re one stubborn girl, aren’t you.” He muttered in a soft voice, giving into her at last.
Sam smiled and hugged him tight.
“Of course, but that’s how you like me, isn’t it?” She replied feeling gleeful suddenly.
He tried to free himself from her tight hug.
“Alright now, don’t go all sappy over me.” He muttered shying away from her.
He’s always like this. Give him a little affection he would run miles.
Sam purposely teased him now and she tightened her hands around his waist.
“Aw, Dev doesn’t like warm hugs.” She sing sang.
He smiled flustered up and tried hard to move away from her arms.
“Stop it.” He mumbled irritated.
Sam shoved her face up into his.
“Why don’t you like to hug, huh? Oh my, look at you all going red. Are you going to run? Aw, so cute.” She tightened her arms more.
He froze suddenly and glanced down at her horrified.
“Cute?” He asked incredulously.
Sam nodded her head smiling wide.
He snorted and let off her as if burned and cleared his throat. He set right his tshirt.
“I find the word offensive.” He muttered disgusted with it.
Sam smiled more.
“Okay, You’re all tough guy, but you’re so cute like that and like right now if you put the sulky face so adorably.” She replied at his offended tone.
He snorted again incredulously.
“You’re getting on my nerves. I thought you had plans to explore yourself or whatever the crap that is….do you plan to keep on standing there like an idiot forever?” He glared across at her thorougly riled up.
“Yeah, I’ll be going now. Don’t miss me much.” She muttered back, and nodded her happily and turned about to get in the taxi but Dev caught her hand and embraced tight and let go immediately.
His eyes were misted over a little.
“I will miss you too. Take care of yourself for me, alright?.” He muttered.
Sam felt emotions well up in her throat and up into her eyes. They prickled to trickle down her cheeks but gulped down the tears and smiled.
“Alright.” She nodded her head.
Dev stepped back and watched her get in the cab, but he interrupted by knocking on the driver’s window.
He bend down and his face all hard and dangerous.
What happened now?
“Take her safely to the said place. If she doesn’t call me every hour from now…by god, I’ll find you and rip your guts out and feed it to the vultures around and…
The driver looked extremely pale, shivering and about to pass out in fear.
Sam’s face burned with anger.
“Oh,my god, Dev, do you have to embarrass me everywhere I go. This is seriously out of line..
Dev’s eyes flashed to hers.
“You stay put, I’m talking here aren’t I, why do you always have to poke your nose in every time, woman, just..”
Sam had enough already. She finally rolled her eyes unable to believe the brute. Seriously what’s the matter with the men in her life. She must be a danger sign board for them to come running to her rescue. It was pointless. She was a big girl now. For all the helter skelter they played over her safety it made her situation even more embarrassing. Pappa, Rohan, Dev and Neil. With all of them she was done.
Dev was still terrifying the already panicked driver with more some colourful threats.
“Hey, can you move the car now?” She ordered frustated enough to kill every one around her.
Dev glanced across at her still glaring from out of the car.
“Oh, for heaven’s sake, get a move on the car, Man.” Sam shouted finally.
The driver jumped at her cry and started the car hurriedly.
Sam smiled smugly triumphant at a cursing Dev who surprisingly started to run along the car.
“Don’t forget to call me, Sam!” He shouted in panting breaths running as if he was in a race or a competition.
Sam popped her head out of the car window and waved her hand vigorously.
“Alright, alright, geez, stop chasing the car. I’ll call you once I get there. Love you. Bye for now. Take care!” Sam shouted back.
He finally bent over the knees breathing hard and glanced up at her, waving his right hand weakly back looking all forlorn and adorable still.
Sam slid back into the seat shaking her head and laughing.
He really was the bestest guy friend she ever got. She would be a fool to lose him.
That girl, that girl…getting on his nerves really now.. how dare…when she reaches there? He snorted. She should call him every hour, that was an order wasn’t it?
When would she take his words seriously. Talking him into cute and things, impossible creature.
“You should call me every hour or I’m gonna come after you and kill you in your sleep, Sam!” Dev shouted roaringly at the already disappearing car.
Some of the people walking across street looked back at him as if he was crazed and a psycho or a mental on loose.
Dev panted heavily and laughed.
“She is a friend.” He muttered an explanation, looking all over at a hot girl who walked by him.
He whistled inside his head looking down at her backside interestingly.
He shook his head and turned around and walked away but after a minute he moved towards the where the girl went smiling rakishly and already getting into the player’s role.
Numbers ran crazily in his head. His eyes burned and watered with the effort to blink away the sleep. Even though he tried he couldn’y sleep at all these past two weeks. He signed numerous files today, but still he snatched the work from everyone around and shouted and snarled like crazy boar on loose. The employees almost looked frightened and anxious of having him around in such state. They left him alone and also their alloted works on his desk.
One small whit of a woman, had left him in a dithering mess. He hated her for it. For the state he was in now.
He was a blathering idiot when giving orders in the work place. He lost his focus and also the peace of mind he had in such tight control. It snapped altogether.
He tried hard to forget her but it was as impossible as to not take the next breath into his lungs. He f**king tried hard for sanity’s sake. Even tried one night stands but it disgusted the touch of other women on his body.
It seemed like he was branded mind, body and soul by her innocent touch. He couldn’t let anyone’s touch on his body and sully it the purity of the places she had her hands before. Her scent heavy and heady lingered everywhere in his apartment. He had scared off Suha from it. She wouldn’t dare set foot on his property ever. It was actually fun looking at her frightened on her heels and running away.
His fist clenched hard. The only place where he had found some solace, It was empty and cold without her. He was haggard, tired and dead on the feet.
Neil bent his head on the glass table and closed his eyes. The cool surface gave some relief to the burning forehead.
He had seen her. Followed her. Everyplace she went, he had been there with her. He couldn’t help not looking at her. It was impossible. He gritted his teeth thinking that she could stay from him but he couldn’t. Not even for a day.
The way she looked while buying groceries at a store. In simple flowery white top and blue jeans. She looked nothing remarkable but everything the same and beautiful. It bl**dy hurt his eyes looking at her. She shined so beautifully, it did really hurt him not to have her closer to his body every night.
His soul was parched to get a glimpse of her eyes. But when the plastic bag fell off her hands in the middle of the walk way, god her face. She looked down at the vegetables as if she lost her whole life. He had to clutch onto the car handle hard to not let the prickle of heat burn his eyes looking at her so sad and hurt. She looked unhealthy. Dark circles covered under the spark less eyes. Something burned inside his chest and made him gasp a little to keep the rising emotional swirl.
Damn her. What had she done to herself? She had done this deliberately, didn’t she? She had run away not him. He had promised to stay and she was the one breaking it. They had a promise together and she god damn broke it and left him. Now she was making him suffer along with her. He hated the power she had on his mind. It was disturbing to the extent of damaging his sanity. He was about to break things around.
He shut his eyes tight and tried to count. He shook his head giving up on one.
He got out of the car in a flash. Reached around walking to her when the signal turned green for the people to walk. He bend down and collected the things with his eyes moving all desperated over her bent face. She did not look up. She was in her own world.
He handed over the things into her hands fast.
“Be careful.” He muttered huskily those words into her ears, took in her warming scent from the evening cold breeze and walked across his car fast.
He felt her jerk and turn around instantly but he already was in the car and moving. He shielded his eyes with the large black glares.
She stood there frozen to the spot looking around wildly with tears running down her eyes.
“Neil…” She kept whispering.
Neil clenched his hands and hardened his heart to move around the car and make it ran fast on the road. He was thankful he didn’t kill anyone on the way with the steady rise of anger he had in his veins then.
The phone rang just as he was about to fall asleep. Neil sighed and got it on the second ring.
“Yes?” He muttered, loosening the tie.
“She has left the place.” Came the reply immediate.
Neil’s hand froze. His jaw ticked and his face hardened. He clutched reciever firmly.
“When?” He bit out.
Neil’s mind worked in fast wheels now. His lips quirked up a little.
“She got the letter then?” He asked already knowing the answer.
“Seems like it, sir.” Came the reply swift.
Neil smiled fully now but yet it did not reach his eyes.
“Good work. Keep on following her. I’ll be there by the evening.” He ordered and cut off the call.
Well, well, well, I finally caught you, babe.
Neil leaned back lazily on the chair and twirled it around closing his eyes satisfied with his work at last.
There in the shadows stayed the black prince in the darkeness ready to trap the fluttering butterfly that left his heart and promised to never come back. The unknown chirpy beauty still doesn’t realize that she can run far and lengths of the earth but not far from her own heart which she had left in the soul of the prince.
He awaits for her to arrive into his shadows and she ventures into his hell with the lilth purest of spirits. He hopes for her to suffer but would he not melt at her first glance falling brightest on his face and heart…….
So this is the part. Im sorry i cudnt write a big one. The next part would be cleaner. Something came up so i couldnt go on to write more and i dunno well watever that is….
Yeah made spel errors n stuff lots like dat. Hope u let it go this time. Mistakes mistakes yeah. I hope i get time to write in peace next time.
Have nice days, friends and keep smiling. Perhaps with a little heart in it.
Credit to: kfar