Chapter-3 ( Desperation)
“Neil, what is it about that you were dreaming?” Sam asked breathlessly.
His body went rigid on top of her. His hand loosened from her waist and he sprang up and away from the bed, as if he got burned pretty bad just now.
Sam leaned up on her elbows and saw him looking at her in complete befundlement. He closed his eyes and shook his head a little, he turned to leave after rubbing the back of his neck.
“Neil, where are you going?” She asked, getting off from the bed too.
“Outside. Out of the house.” He flung the words tirely over his shoulder.
“But, I don’t think you should. You just had a….” She tried to stop, but he cut her off rudely.
“None of your concern.” He clipped, moved away, swung open the door, and left banging shut the door behind him.
Sam jumped and winced at that.
She sighed heavily and sat down on the bed thinking. Was it about her that he had a nightmare? A Wealth of pain surronded her remembering of all that happened, and prickles of guilt attacked her skin again each time her thoughts slid into the past.
After much pacing about and taking the run all across and way past the many streets, Neil bent down, putting his hands on his knees, he kept panting, sweat ran down profusely from his body and stuck to the t-shirt and track pants in a mess.
He ran back across the street and pumped upstairs hard. He unlocked the front door, got in, his footsteps took him unconciously to Sam’s room. He closed his eyes, cursed and moved away. He strided back to his room, removed the T-shirt from up his head and entered into the bathroom.
A cold shower was what he needed. Ten minutes later, he kept his hands and head over the glass shower wall. The water kept running down his head.
The soft laughter, Slow sweet smile and the teasing light in the eyes kept coming back to him.
When was he going to forget all that? How was he going to let go of her.
An hour more later, he fell down on the bed, and slept peacefully for the time in his life. A lingering smell of a different scent stayed back, lulling him sweetly into a more deeper a sleep.
It was exactly 5AM, that the alarm rang, and exactly at the time Neil got up looking as much refreshed as he ever felt.
He got out of the room, and travelled down, his eyes strayed to the corner room, as he moved towards the kitchen. He put the Coffee pot over the burner.
His eyes strayed to the wall clock. 6:45 AM. Why wasn’t she awake yet. For the past few days, he was a complete asshole to her, but still she seems to care about him. It irritated him more. He didn’t want her here, and nor her looking at him with such vulnerable softness of the eyes.
He didn’t care for her. He didn’t even like her that much. His mind kept pondering over the last one thought.
7:20 AM, and still no sign of her. With furrowed brows and consuming two more coffee cups which was more than usual, Neil waited by the kitchen counter for another five minutes.
He walked slowly, and turned around to move towards her room. Neil stood by the door and knocked on it three times. No response. He turned the door knob and looked in.
His gaze moving over to the bed. It was empty. He got into the room and turned towards the bathroom. No sign of her there two.
Where would she go? This early in the morning. Her work in the work shop wouldn’t even start before ten in the morning.
She may have gone there earlier. Neil walked into the hall, and dialled her number through the house phone. It kept ringing and ringing untill it finally went to her voicemail.
“Hi, there, If I didn’t get your call, then obviously im busy right now. So, please leave your message after…” Her voice sweet and breezy entered into his ears.
Neil closed his eyes and put down the phone. He grabbed the car keys and hurried out of the apartment.
An hour later, he stopped near a small work shop, of a very narrow lane, he got out of the car and stood staring at the lock. A slow dread started to travel through his skin, reaching into a healthy level of worry. Neil broke into a cold sweat now.
She isn’t at home. She isn’t here. Dammit, where did she go?
Neil raised his hand, slid his fingers into his hair and pulled hard at the locks in frustration.
He swirled around, punching in a number. It started ringing.
“Hey, Man, it’s been a long while since I talked to you. What are you upto?…..” He heard Rohan’s cheery voice travel into his ears.
……”And how is Sam? I couldn’t talk to her since a week…and…” He went on.
Neil closed his eyes. God damn.
“Ah…Look, Rohan, I’ll call you later.” He cut it, even over the relentless protests of his friend.
“Well, It’s you who called me, dude…” He heard the annoyed voice of his friend, before cutting him off.
She didn’t contact Rohan too.
Panic started to set in immediately into his body making him curse heavily.
Neil had looked into almost every restuarant in New York. He stood by the street, and Morning went away. Afternoon lazed over, and evening set around him shadowing his figure on the ground..still there was no sign of Sam.
Did something happened to her? An accident? Was she lying around in some ditch unconscious..helpless and weak. All these images were torturing him to no end.
His jaw hardened then. His eyes narrowed thinking and turning red. There is only one place now.
He was going to kill the f**k bastard now. His knuckles cracked when he fisted his hands.
He knocked and rang the bell incessantly of a door. Almost wanting to break down the door if it didn’t open right away.
It did open right away.
A dark scowly face came into view. The man’s body weight and height almost matched Neil’s. He looked at him up and down and raised a left eyebrow in enquiry.
He pushed past him hard. Looking all around the apartment wildly, he confronted the bewildered looking guy.
This was the place she wanted to stay? This small of a crevice and live along with this freak. Neil’s eyes travelled all the grungy shorts and ripped blue t-shirt in disgust.
“Where is she?” He asked, his tone and manner surpassed and reached to a point almost lost control.
“Where is who?” The guy asked, in the same way as he did. His tone irritated.
Neil lost all his anger now. He marched forward. Grabbed the guy’s collar and pushed him voilently over to the wall.
“I’m gonna cut you into thousand pieces if I don’t find her.Tell me where is she?” Neil growled into his face.
“What the f**k, man? Are you crazed.” The guy caught his hands and pushed him hard, ready to bear a fight with Neil.
Oh, he was so ready.
“And who the bl**dy hell is she?” He asked, rubbing his neck, and scowling quite heavily at him.
“Sam! I’ll be asking you this for the last time. Where the hell is she?”
As soon as he shouted out her name, he saw the guy’s body snap up straight, as his glaring eyes caught his glowering ones.
“Sam?” He questioned, and his eyes moved all over him and he glared at him some…”You the loon head Neil then?..at who’s
place that she was staying?” He asked.
His eyes narrowed.
“Is staying and will there for a long time.” He warned, looking across the guy in a sharp challenge.
Neil had enough of this. He needed to find her. He needed to see her. A new desperation coursed through his body.
“f**k this all.” He cursed, and moved out of the apartment.
Just as he took the stairs, the guy too walked down the stairs with him.
“Let’s find her together.” He muttered.
Neil ignored him, but he stopped abruptly when his phone started to ring.
He took the call, and his heart stopped beating when he heard what he heard.
The phone slid out of his hands, as he charged towards his car, the guy kept running at his heels.
Both of them got into the car and reached the place of the crime.
The police were all over, sealing the area, the van kept flashing the green and red light. A departmental store had been robbed and an Indian girl was injured just minutes from Neil’s place, had been what the call was about.
He didn’t twice or blink but straight out panicked.
His gaze moved towards the van, and stuttered when it locked on a stretcher being carried out from the store to the ambulance.
He staggared on his feet, but when a delicate hand escaped the white sheet and hanged down in the air lifeless, he was brought to his knees. A thin black film covered his eyes and mind, and his ears started to ring, his body covered in cold sweat, his heart gave out and the very life of him left his body, looking, seeing, staring at the strecher. Everything else faded out.
A hand fell on his shoulder and shook him firmly and hard out of the acute pain that seem to ripple through his every part of the body travelling through from his heart, his gaze glanced up to the hand that pointed somewhere.
His misted eyes moved towards the direction of the hand. Both of his hands fell on the ground as he gasped out loud, and every sound from around suddenly buzzed into his ears and screamed, the sounds which had made him tone deaf just seconds ago.
Neil’s eyes arrested on a huddled figure sat perched on the back of the ambulance. A shivering form, a face so familiar, with the vulnerabilty written all over it, lead something deep rustle and rearrange somewhere near his chest while he looked on. Awareness of her suddendly morphing his worry, anxiety, fear, into complete swift of various other emotions.
She was sat so delicately, such petite figure with a thin blanket around her body, that his heart clenched painfully seeing her in such state. Her hazel eyed gaze fearful moving around, finally spotted him.
Instantly they locked in a stare with his. Neil didn’t want to lead away her eyes to anything else, as it settled now on his. He didn’t want her to look at his shoulder. He didn’t want her not keep looking at him. Neil got up from the ground. He wanted her eyes only for him.
Her back went straight for a minute as she kept on staring at him, but a deep pain surfaced in her eyes and scrunched up her features, instantly turning red, big tears swam, floated, and flowed down her now pink cheeks. Her body jerked up and the blanket fell away from her head.
That’s when, Neil’s eyes moved away from her eyes to her body and everywhere. They narrowed on the cut on her forehead, and his hand fisted over. The narrowed eyes strayed to her neck and froze, making his body turn to stone, as he saw a deep red angry mark on her porcelain skin.
His frozen stare moved slowly to her white bandaged arm and his body turned marble. He saw it. He stared at it. He lost it.
She now walked, with her dishevelled hair, pained tired face, with her broken and scarred body, with teared T-shirt and fadded out blue jeans, she marched towards him.
Neil kept walking too. She reached closer and closer, her smell already reaching out to him, she almost put out her arms but Neil moved past her and walked towards the police car.
His blood red eyes caught the hand cuffed man taken into custody, the two police officers on either side of him, almost put him in the back of the car, but Neil grabbed the bastard by the neck. He pulled him out with such brute force, threw him to the ground voilently, and laid punches after punches at his jaw, under his nose and face, bleeding out his body, until the police caught his hands, but he pushed them away.
Sam stared horrified, as Neil turned into a savage. He beat the crap out of the man under him. Laying down one after the other heavy bone crunching pounding on his face, that Sam gasped, cringed and moved back in fear.
Oh, God! he was killing him, as Sam saw the man lose conciousness and his face turned into a bl**dy pulp.
“Neil!” She screamed, and took action on her paralysed limbs.
She moved forward fast and slid down on the ground and caught his left rippling bicep.
“God, Neil! you’re killing him.” She screamed near into his ear.
That’s when his fist stopped mid punch, as his body locked up. His heaving, sweating, rippling form arrested and his black empty eyes slid to hers, and Sam moved back a little scared of him.
A hand reached to her arm and grabbed her up, but Sam kept staring into his eyes.
“Sam, thank god, you’re alright.” Dev’s worried filled voice, turned her head around.
Sam’s eyes filled with surprise looking at his dear face, then they filled with hot tears. She had earlier just minutes ago had seen him standing beside to Neil.
The day’s horrible event passed through her eyes. Sam jumped up and hugged Dev tight.
“Dev…thank god…I was so scared.” Her voice broke.
Dev chuckled into her hair as his hands clutched her tight.
“Hey, my brave girl. It’s fine now. You’re fine now.” He whispered, rubbing her back to give her comfort.
“I know.” She said, as tears flowed out of her eyes.
Sam pushed away and turned before Dev caught her bicep.
“Don’t. The bastard deserved it.” He told her, his voice a freezing cold looking at the bloodied figure.
“But, Neil…” She said out loud.
He stood there talking to the police…my god were they arresting him too for assualting the man, who had earlier put out a pistol and threatened to kill people in the store. He had knocked out a woman on the head with the back of the weopen. Everything went chaos after that. People pushed around as there was quite a crowd in the store. Sam hit her forehead on a glass wall, the broken pieces of it, scraped into her skin everywhere.
Her calling him out, snapped his head towards her. His jaw locked. Sam looked at his fist and winced. His hand was bleeding, but he marched forward towards her, caught her hand painfully until she winced.
He moved her forward, but then Dev caught her other hand.
“I don’t think, she should be going with you now.” Dev muttered, looking across at Neil.
Sam’s eyes widened at that. What?
She dreaded to look around at Neil’s face. His body beside to her went straight and alert. He pushed at her hand, so much hard so that, Dev’s grip loosened on her other hand, and she was thrown behind Neil’s body in a frantic pull.
Sam couldn’t see over his shoulder, but she knew he got more closer in a challege to Dev’s equally strong body.
“f**k off.” He warned, and turned pulling her forward fast.
Sam couldn’t even do anything but move forward, she was completely flummoxed by seeing this face of Neil. The very scary Neil.
He pushed her to his car, unlocked it and got in, Sam hurried in. Neil put the gear into the drive and started the car.
“Neil, you are scaring me..I can..” Sam started to say, but he cut her off.
“Seat belt.” He said, his voice a calm ocean.
Sam stared at his averted face. Now a stone mask.
“Look, I can explain..” She started again, but the words died away on her tongue, as his face turned towards her and she gulped hard at the coldness written all over his expression. Her mouth and throat went dry as it made difficult to swallow down the fear.
He leaned forward and Sam moved back, his hand outstretched and circled her waist. His face and body got closer to hers. He put on her seat belt all the while staring deep into her eyes. He moved back, his face averted again, as he forwarded the car onto the road. Sam stared at his arm. It rippled out of the T-shirt and flexed when he changed gears. His hands extremely white as his finger nails paled, because of the tight grip he had on the steering wheel. Sam gasped. His anger level had crossed all limits.
In the next twenty minutes, Sam clutched onto her seat as if her very life dependent on it. Neil had broken all signal routes as he charged the car on the road with vengeance. Sam’s body propelled backwards and forward due to it, but she did not utter a word, too afraid to break the strained and anxious silence.
Neil got out of the car, and moved up the stairs towards his apartment. He didn’t even look back at her or gave a glance towards her since all way along to here. Sam dreaded going into the house, but she was enough injured and dog tired to even consider other options. She followed suit and lead her way to the apartment.
Her feet froze when she got in. Neil stood there in the middle of the hallway, glowering at her. His stance a complete danger. His eyes blackened and fierce. His whole figure cut a ruthless and harsh image.
Sam gulped hard.
“All along since morning. All the afternoon. All the evening. Not one f**king call.” He growled each word in a low angry tone and stepped towards her..”Couldn’t have picked up the phone and called, huh? Not in the room. Nor at the work shop….where in the god damned place, should I have to find you? Should I have found you in some ditch, dead or raped? Or should I have found you in some hospital lying helpless and dying? Where else should I have found you? but what the hell do you care,” His voice raised and collided all across the wall.
She flinched and jumped at his tone.
“You know for the first time I took pity on you but f**k it…you just went and proved that you’re one bratty, stuck up, selfish b***c..that I should never have any compassion towards.”He concluded in a growl and in a much more ugly tone.
Sam’s eyes widened at the angry display of his hatred towards her. Tears came back to her eyes in a pained relentless flood looking at his disgust filled eyes.
He shook his head, his body shaking all over he moved past her and into her room, Sam frowned but followed.
Neil flung open her wardrobe and removed all the clothes from the hanger and threw them on the bed, he took out her suitcase.
“You leave for India tomorrow.” He stated.
And Sam felt a whole lot of cold spread all over her body at his tone. It seems like he was done with her.
“Get the rest of the clothes.” He bit out.
Sam swallowed the pain and she smiled through the tears many minutes of silence later.
“You know in the morning, I was so restless..” His movements stopped abruptly at her broken tone, but he went on throwing clothes off the hanger, but Sam moved towards him.
He turned to her finally and stared down at her. His face a complete stone. His lips thinned out, as he drew his hands and folded them on his chest.
Sam ignored that all.
“I couldn’t sit still even for a second. I got out of the apartment very early….in my hurry I left my phone…and god, I don’t remember your cell number…but.” Sam shook her head, as tears streamed down her face….”But, I never thought, that I could live another day in that store with that maniac holding a pistol at our heads. I couldn’t think, only one thought incessantly whispered, If I could see you one last time…” Sam felt his body turn stiff at that, but she didn’t care and went on.
“As I will be leaving you anyway…I can’t forget to give you this…”She mumbled and took out a charm star pendent, attached to a gold chain from the back pocket of her jeans…”It’s meant to be a peace giver. I know it’s silly but the sales lady told me it keeps the nightmares at bay.” She whispered, and looked up finally into his now pained and wounded eyes. His face lost all the colour as he seem to pale out of blood.
“I had searched about it and many of my friends had the good result. I hope that you can sleep peacefully since from tonight, without any nightmares.”She whispered, her voice hacking out, she moved forward, caught hold of his hand, spread his palm and put the chain there.
He stared down at her, his face gone all soft and hurting, he gulped, his adam’s apple moved with the effort, as his gaze now stuck to the shining gold chain.
“Sam…baby…”He breathed in a very hoarse whisper.
Sam couldn’t bare to stand there anymore, she turned around in a flash but Neil caught her hand.
“Leave me.” She struggled, but he turned her around.
Sam beat her fisted hands on his strong chest.
“Leave me. I’m only a stuck up, selfish b***c to you!..i’ll just get out of your life once and for all…”She sobbed and shouted quite heavily now..
Neil grabbed her hands and controlled her struggling body by his, his face all vulnerable, as he stared down at her, his eyes swirled with hurt and repenting. His minty breath falling warm on her face.
“No, baby, I’m sorry. I’m very sorry” He whispered on her lips, his voice all broken too, but Sam struggled more.
“No! No!”….She shouted through the gut clenching sobs…”You can’t be all brutal in one second and become all soft the next..”Her eyes flowing and burning up.
She tried to push him off her, but he slid them both down on the floor, in a sitting position, he plonked her body in his lap as her legs bent on either side of his hips. His face going into her neck.
“I can’t deal with your harsh lashing out mood swings, Neil. I can’t anymore.” She whispered, her voice all lost all the power, when he embraced her tight into his warm hard body.
“I thought I would die today.” She whispered after a long while and cried hard in his arms.
His hands went to her hair and glided to and fro.
“Shhh..” He whispered…”Calm down. You are safe now.” He assured her, rocking her a little in his arms.
But, what about safety from you, Neil. You’re going to break my heart again and again with your words. What am I do with that, Sam’s mind moaned out as the tears still streamed down her face……
Next Up Part- PAST AND HER….
Well, this is the update. Hope u all like it!!!!!!!! Fingers crossed 😀
And also ignore the many typos plssssssss.
I sigh, I think, I dream, of being with you….but oh the woe is me, that I knw our time had ended a long while back and US being together is never to be in reality anymore……
So, how do u like the part, pls dooooooo tellll guyssssssss. plsssss 😀
Song dedication—I Will Be—by Avril Lavigne..
And also…Yaa Rabba frm da movie Salame Ishq…haha sad sad I know….
till next time den….hv a happy day my lovelies 😀
Credit to: kfar