Okay don’t get confused with the title as my surname Maheshwari sounds Marwadi. This girl is crazy you know about who I’m talking – the author of the story.
My mom a pure Punjabi kudi was married to my Marwadi dad. Though her surname had turned Marwadi her heart was still Punjabi. There is a saying. A Punjabi is born Punjabi and remains Punjabi till he dies. They wont leave their culture at any cost. And my mom he he you cannot even imagine her in Marwadi attire. Her big bright smile which stretches from her one ear to the other which will be on her face always is an example for it. Her batheesi(teeth) is so bright you will recognize her in a hell crowded place also. Spotting my mom was so easy. But I don’t know why I’m not finding her today.
I’m standing at the correct platform only. I scanned the people again. “Sanku” her weird pet names by god. I closed my eyes annoyed when I heard her voice. I wore my fake smile and turned to look at my mom. My mom a complete make up ki dukan. She was wearing her signature cooling glass and walked to me with her batheesi. I smiled widely at her. She was aware of the crowd which was looking at her weirdly. Then my mom Mrs. Kiron Ram Prasad Maheshwari. Has she cared for anyone all her life.
I nodded my head and looked at her. She hugged me in a bone crushing hug. Ouch I felt suffocated within her hold. God this non veg eating cruel people. I know she is my mom but I can’t help it. Dad’s genes are also very strong. I just wonder and curse my fate why did they fell in love. And God; didn’t he get any other house to drop me with the help of a bird which drops the babies in the houses when the lady of the house is pregnant. Gosh one moment of her crushing and I lost my senses completely what the heck am I talking. “Mom” I whispered with difficulty.
“Oh sorry sorry” finally the great khali left his opponent and I controlled myself from collapsing on the floor. Phew my mom and her extra strong love. I took deep breaths to relax my fast beating heart which I felt will be in my mouth in next minute. Luckily it stayed inside might be it was scared of my mom. I smiled at her when she was looking around with swag. “Chale?” I asked her. She smiled showing her batheesi and I walked nodding my head. But whatever I love her she is my life. She just makes everyone around her happy. Thats the advantage of having a loud Punjabi mom in a Marwadi family.
“Lucky Puttar” she attacked Laksh as soon as he opened the door. Ya that’s what he calls her welcome hug. But I can’t disagree with it. We have to adjust our bodies to her extra strong love as she tho will not change herself. I controlled my laugh looking at Laksh who was struggling to breath in her hold. I teased him putting my tongue out. He glared me and then pleaded me to get him out of my mom’s hold. “Mom.. mom relax” I said and released Laksh from her hold. “aunty you must be tired na I will get nimboo pani(lemon juice) for you” he paced his talk and ran inside the kitchen. Otherwise tho he will not enter kitchen but when my mom comes he will not be willing to step out of a kitchen. That’s one of the advantage of having my mom here.
My mom sat on the sofa and relaxed. I decreased the ac temperature as I knew my mom will be feeling damn hot. One is the heat of Mumbai and second her ornaments which were clutched to her skin without giving a bit of space for her skin to breath. She smiled feeling the cool air and sighed. That momentary calmness on my mom’s face and her mind is so heavenly you cannot stop admiring it. “Oye Lucky ke bache” Lo shuru hogayi sherni I nodded my head smiling.
“Coming aunty” he rushed with the glass full of lemon juice. She gulped it in a go. My mom’s apatite is of a Punjabi of course which always amused me. Laksh stared her with wide open eyes and I controlled my laugh looking at his shocked face. He was a cartoon piece to watch whenever my mom came to stay with us for few days.
“God save your wife” he looked up praying when we were preparing dinner, I hit him on his head playfully. “What? Seriously. Tolerating a Punjabi saasu mom is no less than playing rugby you know?” he showed me the knife placing his hand on his waist. “Shut up Lucky” I continued twirling the spatula inside the cooker. “Haaye” we heard mom’s cry and rushed out after giving each other a confused look. “Hey Bhagwan abb kya hoga Simar ka. Bechari Makkhi ban gayi aur pandrah din se zyada nai jee payegi(Now what will happen to Simar. She became a house fly and it’s life span is only fiften days)” Me and lucky looked at each other. “Siyapa Har Ghar Ka Sasural Simar ka” we said looking at each other. We nodded our head after giving a bore look to my mom and walked back to kitchen.
I seriously started thinking about Laksh’s sentence now. No my mom is not bad at heart I know. But whether a Marwadi girl survive a Punjabi Sasu mom? The thought made me shiver. Ahhh what is wrong with me. Future is future let me worry about my present. I touched the cooker whose whistle blew and burnt my hand coming to reality. I sucked my burnt finger and again thought about Lucky’s words. The cooker blew the whistle again and I cursed myself for taking Shakuni Laksh’s words seriously and concentrated on my work.
“Sanku” Laksh spit the water he was drinking. I glared him and turned to my mom who was looking at me with her puppy eyes. Emotional Athyachar time. Sanky bacha bachke rehna. My mind alerted me.
“Look Sanku I’m getting old and I’m not that active now. I need someone to look after the households. So I was thinking to get you married and once your wife comes she will relieve me from all my responsibilities and then I can araam se go for theerth yatra with your dad” Puppy eyes mode still ‘ON’ “Mom ithna drama?” I looked at her annoyed.
“It seriously doesn’t suit you. Seedhe seedhe bolo na dhons jamane ke liye bahu chahiye(You want daughter in law to show your bossy attitude)” I threw my hands in air. “But mummy ji told me to say this dialogue only. Wait I will ask her. She said you will surely agree for marriage” She looked at me confused. “OH so this all that budhiya I mean Dadisa’s work haa?” I crossed my arms. Budhiya seriously Sanky. Ya that’s what my mom calls her so I’m just habituated. I don’t disrespect elders but this blunt nature is due to my mom’s genes.
“Haaw Sanku sachi she said if I want to get my bahu I should say all this otherwise you will not take the things seriously. Ek budhi maa ki khawisho se badkar kya hotha hai ek bete ke liye(More than his aged mom’s wishes what is more important for the son)” she slid her palm on my shoulder with dramatic look. Gosh again drama. I gave her a fake smile. “Maa I think your Saasu mom I mean my Daadi sa has forgotten that I’m mixed breed so as I have my dad’s weakness for emotional blackmail I also have my Punjabi mom’s intelligence to differentiate between drama and emotions.” I smiled at her.
“Khasmanu khaniya” she hit my shoulder giving up. “Khaas what?” Laksh cocked his head. “Khasmanu khaniya” me and mom gave him a bore look. “What’s that?” he asked me confused. “Now teaching your best friend Punjabi is more important than your mom” my mom placed her fist in her mouth acting to hold her cry. I looked at her confused.
“No no aunty. Nothing like that. Leave that Khasu dhasu and all. Sleep now you must be tired” Laksh cooled my mom. “Agar tu ek kudi hota na tho tujhe hi banati apni bahu mai(If you were a girl I would have made you only my daughter in law)” my mom looked at him emotional. “Koi na aunty in next birth I will be born as a girl specially to be your daughter in law” Lucky have you lost it? I gave him a pointed look. “Kinna changa munda hai aur ek mera puttar hai(Such good boy and one my son is there)” I nodded my head taking a deep breath.
“Waise what wrong did Aunty say? Get married. It’s apt age now” Laksh was looking at me placing his head on his palm resting his elbow on the pillow. I shifted to his room whenever mom used to come to stay with us. “Shut up Lucky” I turned facing my back to me. “But why Sanku?” he teased me. “Because I’m not interested” I did not turn. “Don’t tell me you are interested in men?” he widened his eyes shocked. I looked at him weird. An idea hit me to get saved from the Shakuni Laksh and I acted upon it immediately.
“Lucky you know me so well” I traced his jawline and winked at him. He gulped scared. “Chi chi Sanskar” he jerked my finger. “Sanskar nai Sanku bolo na Lucky darling” I teased him. “Yew” he fell down the bed and I leaned in front of him. “Kya hua Lucky baby” my finger traveled on his forehead and then on the nose. He was looking at it scared. He covered his chest with the shirt. Grabbing the pillow and bed sheet he glared me. “Tere iraade teekh nai lag rahe hai mujhe” he rushed out of the room. I burst out laughing and fell on my back.
He wasn’t wrong. I should think about marriage but I’m scared of this commitment things. But someday tho I have to fall in this. Let me fall now only.
“Okay na mom. Now please spare me I have to prepare breakfast” I twirled the spatula in the fry pan and my mom was roaming behind me like a puppy. “Tu inni jaldi maan gaya(You agree so early?)” she stood shocked. “Then what do you expect me to do?” I turned to her. “I had practiced so many dialogues to plead you. Tu mera beta nai hai. Bol kab replace hua thu?” she asked me leaning to me like a detective. “Enough mom” I wiped my hands after turning off the stow and walked out annoyed.
“Yaa Sanku. You don’t watch Ishqbazz in that na Shivay got exchanged with his duplicate” she looked at me. She and her serial madness. These ladies will the vaccination dates of their kids but serials majaal hai ek episode miss kiya ho(dare they miss one episode). “Now tell me what should I do? Should I agree or I should not?” I asked her defeated. “Thoda drama kar lena Punjabis types (Do little drama like Punjabi)” she held my chin. I gave up she can send me to mental asylum for sure if I don’t fulfill her demands.
“No mom no. I can’t do this” I walked with chin up. “Please Puttar. Apni budhi maa ki baath maan le(Listen to your aged mom)” she held my shoulder. “No mom I have dreams to reach moon and you want me to marry?” I looked at her dramatically. “Moon pe honeymoon ke baad chale jaana(You reach moon after honeymoon)” she pleaded me. Laksh who was watching our drama burst out laughing and I couldn’t control my laugh anymore and smiled and hugged my mom.
My dramebaaz Punjabi mom. Uff I can’t even imagine how is my would be wife is gonna tolerate her. Hell why I’m thinking about her now only. Bechari let her stay peaceful for sometime. Later tho she will be part of this circus. I nodded my head and smiled at my mom who kissed my forehead.