Don’t know what made my eyes get opened @4 in morning… I looked the roof with grief and closed them with regret… my head was getting heavy while the heart beat seemed to be strange.. I got up from the sofa and sat all alone.. I saw Anika’s bracelet over the table, the one she loved the most.. I took that and saw how it glittered like Anika used to be… But now everything has changed.. She’s no longer my Anika… I lost her!.. The charming, garrulous, joyful Anika is no more.. I placed it back and remembered how it stood as a symbol of our love… She wasn’t just a part of my life but she WAS my life…
The day, I met her… she was driving while I sat with the dadi… she increased the speed per second just to save my quivering Dadi.. I, with Omru, moved the stretcher fast and reached the ICU when I left Dadi’s hand… We were scared like anything with the fear of loosing our Dadi… and the fortunate news reached our ears that she’s OK.. Thank God that we could reach there on time… It was late night when we went to pay the bill and the very moment I saw HER fighting with the receptionist… she was so cute and beautiful… she didn’t give a chance to the receptionist for a word… we neared her to thank but she argued with us for unreasonable facts…. And later we understood that she was arguing for our Dadi… she was arguing as there wasn’t a medicine which could merely help in her condition… we understood that she had such a helping mentality… and from that day onwards, We met.. and I donno when she stole my heart…..
Our marriage was the most precious moment in my life… I never confessed my love to her.. EVER!.. we never consummated our marriage.. we never took a step to make our relation a pure one.. I would always make her think that I don’t love her, I made her believe that it was for my family’s happiness that I married her!.. Hhhh, but it’s strange that she would never believe it… she always loved me… she was my crazy entertainment… she hugs me each day before going for work but I never reciprocated it… but when she hugs, I feel so goosebumps over me.. I always wished that moment not to end anytime.. She tried her level best to make me confess my love but each time she failed.. but she never stopped trying!!… whenever she comes to me, I move away from her making myself feel sad..
But… but today.. when I near her, she..she runs from me… she..she’s… she’s running from me! I..I can’t bear that!.. today I regret that why didn’t I tell her that how much I loved her!.. why didn’t I announce to the whole world that our marriage was never a compelling…. Why did I made her believe that I never wanted her!.. WHY!..
I couldn’t help myself from crying.. My Anika doesn’t talk to anyone… she’s now a stone with frozen flush and blood in her body… why does she wants divorce from me!.. why is she going away!.. why doesn’t she understand that whatever happened was…was her past!.. I know how much difficult it would be for a woman for I’m always with her.. why is she punishing me? how much I teach myself to be her Shivaay in front of her, but her blooded eyes and clear veins make my legs weak.. why doesn’t she understand that she’s..she’s all fine for me… whatever happened hasn’t changed any of my mind… why doesn’t she understand that..that I cannot live without her!…
I suddenly heard the sound of a door but didn’t make it bother me… I gazed the clock which pointed to 4.. my mind was wandering somewhere else while my body still sensed the hugs she gave me..my lips twitched when I thought of her… Anika’s brave!.. she’s still trying not to show any of her pain to me.. but I know how many knives are stabbing her… I don’t know what will be wandering in her mind!.. I still remember the last argument we made..
“ Look Anika, it’s not necessary that what you’re thinking is always right.. you must think from the either side…. Ragni came just to see me and..and do you have any idea what all scenes you created there just bcoz she hugged me!.. “ Shivaay said angering his voice..
“Shivaay, you don’t understand! You..you didn’t see how her face was.. she was like…like inhaling your smell and…and chee what all weird faces she was making while hugging you! That..that wasn’t a friendly hug.. it was..it was something else… and I don’t like any girls coming and hugging you! Are you any Taj Mahal that all girls would come to see and hug you! “ Anika made irritated faces within this time… Shivaay hid a lite smile and looked the fire in front of him… soon he made his face back to anger..
“ Anika! This is not about you likes and dislikes… She is the daughter of the top most business man and the most honorable alliance I have.. She came here after this long time and this, what you did, wasn’t the correct step to treat her… “
“ Shivaay, you don’t underst…….
“ Now go from here before I say something which you wouldn’t like… “ he pointed out with harsh face.. Anika neither talked nor showed her sadness… she took her key from the table and went out with her Enfield bullet anger as ever! The sun hid behind the clouds and Moon shined by the sun..
I should have stopped her… why I tried to create such irrational thinkings with her! Why did I argue with MY Anika for that reprobate Ragni!… the guilt is killing me per day… After the INCIDENT she never showed herself to me… she stopped talking to everyone.. she stopped calling me ‘Shivaay’… she stopped smiling and what not she didn’t stop… I understand how it will be for a woman.. but I am with her… why isn’t she understanding the fact that I love her… In her every hardships, I am there… but she doesn’t wants me.. the time when she did want I wasn’t there and now when I want to be with her, she..she doesn’t wants me… but I will never let her GO.. Whatever happened would never change who’s she to me.. wherever she goes I’ll be with her!.. I don’t care who she is… what she is and what her past says.. what counts is my Anika..
Suddenly I heard a creepy sound.. I stood up and slowly walked to our room, or Anika’s room… I didn’t had the courage to open up the door to see her crying since IT happened… I walked back and roamed the whole hall.. I felt the sound of feet but I didn’t let it bother me.. I couldn’t sleep.. neither I could do anything.. My mind was completed filled with lot many unanswered questions…. I didn’t know why but somewhere my heart told me to have a look of Anika.. Her asleep face would always make me cool, thinking that at least she’s away from her sorrows… I neared the door with breakless beats.. My hands danced to open it but it couldn’t… Suddenly I felt Om holding my shoulder… He gave me a smile while gauri too accompanied… I knew that Anika would only be opened with gauri… I stepped back from the door and let gauri open it.. I turned back to go and took the first step but Gauri’s voice pulled me back.. I rushed inside the room but it was empty so as the cupboard…. I picked up the paper which lay on the bed….
‘ THANK YOU SHIVAAY…. FOR EVERYTHING! ‘