Carte blanche of love
“Explain love?” professor Gupta`s voice echoed In the classroom containing no more than 20-25 students. I stopped scribbling my name on the book and looked up at this offbeat question that came out of nowhere. Professor Gupta was one of the best philosophy professors in Elliott College. According to him philosophy was way more than just the text written in the books and he wanted his students to know and understand the actual meaning of philosophy. “You are next Shivaay explain what is love?” Professor Gupta`s voice brought me back into my senses. I started thinking of something smart to say because all I knew about love was either from Bollywood movies or magazines. I struggled with words but managed to say something that sounded like “love is a feeling of attraction and deep affection towards someone. It is the fondness that we develop for a person.” Not bad Shivaay I patted myself on the back in my mind. “Love is purity” I heard a melodious voice from the other corner of the room. My eyes followed the voice and saw a tall slender girl explaining love “it is a feeling of purity, it is freedom; freedom from adulteration and contamination of materialism. Love is nobility of soul.
If love was an object it would be a limpid translucent object that holds no dirt no darkness. Love must not be confined. If there would be no love, there would be no world”. “Wonderful Anika” I heard professor Gupta saying. “Students your projects are due for tomorrow; don’t forget “professor Gupta reminded everyone as he left the room. I also gathered my belongings and went to administrative office. Today was my first day at college so I was called to collect some documents and also had an interview in committee room or as I like to call it a formality. My dad was the trustee of the college which means I had already got the admission but I went it anyways. The office was decorated gracefully which was not unusual it was committee room of Elliott College it had to look like one. Two old men sat in front of me. The man on the right was professor Gupta with professor khan head of Department seated on his right. “Good afternoon” I said as I sat down. “Good afternoon gentleman. How was your first class?”. “It was good professor Gupta is very good mentor” i decided to stay courteous because in reality the only thing I had been doing in the class was writing my name in different fonts. My name had never been more interesting to me. “Good to hear that may I know the reason for choosing philosophy”. This was the question I wanted to avoid at any cost. After graduating high school I went to dance school against my father wish while all of my other friends enrolled in college. I wanted to pursue my career as a dancer but my father insisted that I should first get a college degree. Philosophy seemed the most easy subject to me so that’s the reason behind my entry in Elliott but of course I didn’t want professor Gupta to know that so “ this is something I have always been interested in” is what I said. After 20 minutes I was in cafeteria enjoying coffee with my friends. Most of my friends from high school had chosen Elliott so I didn’t have much difficulty in adjusting to the environment in fact after 10 minutes I was giving a live dance performance to people in cafeteria.” You haven’t changed a bit” rudra said “I would take that as a compliment” I said laughing. “Why don’t you take part in intercollege play this year” rudra asked. “Intercollege play?” I inquired. “Yes I heard this year they are casting students from different departments whoever is interested can contact mam Sasha head of dramatics society”. “Not a bad idea also because the force of philosophy is not enough to hold me in this college” I said winking.
I had actually liked the idea and to prove that I was in the office of mam Sasha after few moments registering my name. While I was finding my way out of the office I saw her entering, Anika probably this was her name. She walked past me and entered the office. Something about her caused me to stop and stare for a moment till my eyes couldn’t see her anymore. I went for another class I had. After the class as I was planning to leave I got the news that I was selected for the role. Rehearsals were to begin from tomorrow. The next day I went to the college early than usual this is because I had 2 really long classes and had rehearsals too. I didn’t know who was going to act opposite to me. I went inside the auditorium hall which had other play members as well reading their scripts I went straight to mam Sasha. “ good morning mam” I greeted her. “good morning Shivaay, I was waiting for you. Here goes your script you are going to play the rule of ARJUN in the play. And Anika will act opposite to you she is going to play the role of PAYAL.” This name clicked something in my mind.
I looked behind her to confirm when I saw her standing there. I didn’t get the chance to properly look at her previous two times. I looked at her from head to toe. She was wearing a blue romper hair perfectly tied in a bun and wore retro square glasses that perfectly hid her dark blue eyes that resembled an ocean or like a cloudless sky. She was indeed a beautiful girl. “Hello Mr.Oberoi I am anika. Miss Sasha just told me about you. We are partners for this play” she said as mam Sasha left to attend other students.” Yes mam Sasha told me about it and you can call me Shivaay.” “Ok Shivaay I think we should read our scenes it`s our turn in sometime.” She said as her fingers started tracking the lines she was reading. “We won`t be rehearsing anytime soon we can read it later.” I really wanted to start a conversation not because I was really impressed by her but because I didn’t want to read the script. “But it`s better if we do it early we will have more time to rehearse it” she seemed not in a mood to talk. You are stuck with a nerd Shivaay I said to myself.
“Professor Gupta looked really impressed that day”. I said to her as we sat to rest after 2 hours of rehearsals. “huh?Ohhh that day”. It took her a moment to recall. “The answer you gave was really impressive where have you read it?” “And what makes you think I must have read it somewhere.” Her question left me speechless for a second “Just a guess”. “I just said what I believe. I was being honest. ”I wanted to tell her what she thinks about love only suits in an exotic romantic movie or books but I restrained myself from saying that. ”I didn`t expect to see you in this play. You don’t look like you would be interested in this kind of stuff.” ”you didn`t read the play. Did you?” she said while sipping her cold coffee. “ummm yeah. I thought I will ask my partner to tell me the overview of the story.” I said a little embarrassed but it`s not I didn`t try but reading was not my favorite thing to do. “Ok so listen from your partner then. It is a very different kind of play.
It’s a blend of basic old fairy tale with a touch of uniqueness. It is about a fairy who was sent to earth from the world of love. She was the utmost believer in love. She was the ardent lover of love and believed love to be the most pure feeling in the universe and had come to earth to find the love of her life. The play focuses on different difficulties and hurdles she faces on earth and how she is very disappointed to see the materialism of the modern world. In the climax she meets his perfect partner ARJUN and they decide to write a new tale of love together.” “Beautiful play” I said.” Thank you” she said.” Huh?” “I wrote this play” “ohh very impressive” I was actually very impressed.” That is why mam Sasha asked me to play the role of the fairy because according to her no one can portray this rule better than me. That is why I am here.” So miss philosopher is a good writer as well.
The next four days were really busy I had to miss all of my classes as well for the rehearsals because I had to read and memorize the play while rehearsing to act it so miss philosopher had promised to help me with the notes tonight. I was sitting in the cafeteria when rudra came, “you are coming to the party tonight?” he asked while eating from my plate. ”Party? What party?” I asked. “taniya`s party she invited you specially.”
Taniya was the most hot girl of college every boy wanted to date her, including me, but I decided to play it cool and it worked she wanted me to come to her party. But I had to go to Anika`s house today. No problem I will make her understand I told myself. “Sure sign me in”. The party was exactly like I expected it to be and besides that I managed to get the number of taniya but now I had to face miss philosopher in the past two days we had started to get along really well but I knew she was very serious about studies and very responsible in general. I found her in the cafeteria looking as angry as I expected her to be. “Hey miss philosopher” I said while finding myself a place to sit. “Look the prince of Elliott has come. Prince Shivaay I hope you slept well last night” as expected she was really angry and didn’t realized that I called her miss philosopher. “Prince is ashamed can you please forgive.” “I would have thrown this glass of water on your face if I weren’t sitting in college.” Elliot was my savior of my dignity. But as I told miss philosopher couldn’t see anyone neglecting their studies so in next 20 minutes she was explaining modern philosophy to me.
Today I had completed one month in Elliott. This one month wasn’t what I had expected it to be mostly because miss philosopher won`t let me miss any class or project she was a nerd. Mean time I had succeeded to woo taniya I had also become really popular due to being with taniya and also due to my dance moves. My friendship with miss philosopher had also grown stronger. “What are you doing here?” I almost whispered because we were in a library. “Trying to cook a hotdog” She said without looking at me. Nerdy sarcastic miss philosopher “Would you like some coffee with that?” “Sure”. “Want to come to a party with me tonight?” I said while nibbling onto my sandwich she was still reading the same book as she was reading in library while sipping her coffee. “You know I don’t go to parties such a waste of time also I have to read this book.” What else could you expect from miss philosopher? Sometimes I wonder how we became friends because I have seen people like her but not certainly anyone that would make me want to explore them therefore I think my intrigued nature in this leads me on. We had nothing in common but I am going to change this nerd into a fun loving miss philosopher.” Please miss philosopher and you said you like to try new things so you should.” It wasn’t easy convincing her but I did it and she had agreed to go at last. Today was also Tania`s birthday and I had to be with her before she decides to come here and shoot me. Dating Taniya was not what I had expected but it is not her fault I should have known that she was most popular girl of the college and daughter of city`s famous industrialist, throwing tantrums was her right. Taniya was like an illusion a beautiful fantasy which stays on your mind until you have her that is when she bursts your bubble. “ I will come pick you up at 7.” I said to Anika and left to meet taniya. “Happy birthday baby”
“Why you came so late” she was still in her pajamas when I came to wish her but she was taniya who could find a fault in anything you do.” I had an early morning class otherwise I would have come earlier” and waited for you to wake up and complain for coming so early, I wanted to say that too but couldn`t.” so what`s` the plan for today” I asked.
“Nothing special we are just going to go with my girls” she said while sipping her bed tea.” What am I going to do among all of your girl friends?”
“You will spend time with me it is such a special day for me I don’t want to celebrate it without you. You have to come.” I knew I had to go otherwise she is going
to create a big drama. “Ok as you like baby.”
Next few hours were worst than sitting in the longest philosophy class. May be God was punishing me for all the times I bunked my class to meet taniya. I reached home in a wretched and disconsolate state and went state to my room, failing all the attempts of my mother to interrogate me in the way. I had to go pick Anika. I took a shower to lessen the pain of past and went to pick her up. Her mom greeted me and led me to the living room. After few moments a girl came down the stairs,who was everything but miss philosopher. She wore a black halter neck, floor length silk gown that perfectly complimented her slim and slender figure and also enhanced her tall height. Her dark brown hair fell like a water stream on her back the black stone of her earnings moved back and forth when she walked. One thing that was same between this new Anika and miss philosopher was her retro square glasses perfectly hiding her eyes. I had never seen her without her glasses. Her dark blue eyes peeked through the glass. I would have stared at her even longer if she hadn’t interrupted me. “ Shall we go”
“Sure” I wanted to tell her she looked beautiful wanted to say all of the lines I would usually say to a beautiful girl but couldn`t. I had never seen this side of miss philosopher or perhaps I never bothered to.
She looked a bit perplexed to step in at first but eventually did after I assured her that she will not get bored but I guess I was wrong this time because after few moments she isolated herself from the group of girls I had introduced her to and went to sit in the corner.
“Want to go to a more fun place” I asked while sitting beside her.
“Want to go to any place but this.” She replied. ”Come I will show you.”
“How many more stairs do I have to climb Shivaay. Where are you even taking me” She while trying to catch her breath. “Just few more steps.”
“Look we are finally here” I said as reached the roof of the building. The stars above us shone brightly. They looked like glitters in the pool of darkness. She could have easily blended in but her dark blue eyes stood out.
“This is beautiful” you could tell she was being honest. This was Anika who would leave a high class Party just to see sky full of stars.we found us a place to sit.
“Why do you look tensed?”
“Taniya” I knew lying to her won`t earn me anything. She knew how to read faces. “ I don’t get what she wants from me. She wants me to be her puppet.she doesn’t need a boyfriend, she needs a puppet who could live his life according to her rules.” I don’t know why but I had no filters when I talked to her.
“May be you are just over-reacting”, she said while still staring at the sky.
“May be I am. But still it isn’t working.”
“This is because you don’t love her you are just fond of her.”
“And how can you say that”
“Because all you both want is to have a clone of yourself. You don’t want to accept the uniqueness of other person you just want to change her and turn her into how you want her to be and she wants the same. You both are not in love because love doesn`t need assurance.” She paused for a second and looked at me. It had been too dark to look at her eyes before but her eyes were like an ocean full of emotions and secrets, the bright light of moon had given them a mysterious look her eyes looked electric blue, those sharp darts looked at me for a second and fixed her gaze back to the sky.
“You know Shivaay I want to write a book, I want to write a love story; carte blanche of love. I want to write a story of freedom a story of strength a story that doesn`t just blend it a story that beats all the odds. I want to add something more to the stereotypical definition of love. I want people to know love isn’t about perfection, a perfect couple, a perfect ending, a perfect partner…. This is not love Shivaay love isn’t about turning people into how you like them to be love is about letting them be themselves and embrace their flaws. I want to show people that love shouldn’t be confined, shouldn’t be egoistic love should be pure. And pure love doesn’t demand anything If I love you I`ll never ask you to bring the stars for me, but I would love to sit and watch them with you…” ” Had someone else said the same thing about love in this era I would have laughed but every word that came out of her mouth spoke for itself. She was talking from her heart.
“Love should be so strong that it penetrates into your soul and takes every inch of your body to the highest level of nobility.” She said while looking at me and we kept looking into each other`s` eyes until I looked away. There was something in her eyes that made me look away I couldn’t stare at them for any longer………….
“You are going?” I said while making puppy face.
“Please Shivaay not again for the past ten minutes you are repeating the same dialogue.” She was irritated I could tell. Miss philosopher was not a very big fan of Bollywood.
“Who would help me with this ancient philosophy now “
“Shivaay I am not going for forever. It`s just the matter of 4
days.” Anika was going to her hometown for a marriage ceremony and she called me to help her with packing but all that I was doing was irritating her with my Bollywood collection of dialogues.
“What If your plane crashes and you die on the way”
“I will return as a ghost to help you past this semester, Happy now? Now let me pack in peace”
It wasn’t as easy as I had imagined it to be. Miss philosopher was all over my mind in her absence. I was recalling her lectures, chides and most importantly her eyes. Sitting in class had never been this difficult for me. I was feeling alone even when I had all my friends around me. I didn’t want to think about it. May be I was just tired. So I went to meet taniya. But that was no help in fact it worsened the situation even more.
“What do you mean I keep ignoring you, I spend more time with you than I do with myself” I don’t know what caused me to talk like that to her but I knew I have had enough. It wasn’t worth it……… or maybe I didn’t want it to work but whatever the case may be, I said all that I had been bottling up for months.
“I don’t know what do you want from me taniya I honestly never understood that. Do you want a boyfriend or mere puppet? You don’t want love or relationship you just want to show off. You have made my life hell” i said while I grabbed my jacket and walked out of her room but didn’t forget to slam the door behind. Yes there were plenty of nice ways to explain this to her but being a stupid person that I am I chose this one. Now what Shivaay? I asked myself. I wasn`t feeling myself so I went to dance but soon I was bored again even the things I loved seemed boring.
A part of me knew what was happening to me but a part of me was still in denial. Whatever I did she was always on the back of mind. I had started going to the places she visited. Everything in the college reminded me of her. I had started imagining her. I love you miss philosopher I love you. I finally admitted to myself I had never thought I would love someone like you. I was counting on the days to meet her to see her. Only one day left I said to myself.
“I heard you and taniya broke up” of course the whole college knew about it now but I didn’t care about taniya or anything related to her.
“Yes we did”
“That is sad lets go party it will freshen up your mood and also you will get to meet new people” omkara and his plans…… but he was right nothing is bad in going to a party whether it is to forget old love or celebrate new one”……….
I wasn’t hallucinating this time she was in front of me. Who had thought that miss philosopher that went from this college won`t be the one who returned. May be she was the same but not for me. What am I even thinking?
“Professor Gupta isn’t going to come in hall to teach us we have to go inside” miss nerd was back
“Last few days were so bad and hectic I don’t even want to talk” she said while flipping through her notes. I could imagine she was a kind of girl who would get bored at parties even.
“Let us go to that place again. I really want to go away from this hustle and bustle for some time” I wanted to take her to a romantic place and confess my love to her but I realized this wasn’t the time.
“This is beautiful. So calm and so flawless” she said while looking at the sky. She paused and looked at me for a second she wasn’t wearing that fancy gown like last time but she still looked mesmerized. Her eyes looked like all shades of blue merged together. It looked pure very pure. My gaze travelled down a little lower to her lips. I felt a tingling sensation in my stomach. Within next moments my lips had already reached for hers. May be she sensed that she moved back a little and placed her hands on my chest gently pushing me back. She cocked a brow in surprise.
“I am….. am….. I..” I wanted to say I am sorry I didn’t want her to think I was taking advantage of her.
“I love you” there I finally said for hours I had imagined our perfect date perfect proposal and now my one stupid mistake had ruined it. I didn’t know how she would react. May be she is going to slap me may be she is going to stop talking to me. I waited for her to talk.
“You love me? You are joking right?” she looked bewildered.
“No, this is the truth I realized that I am in love with you.” She stood up and looked at me with mixed emotions. She kept staring at me for a moment. It seemed like I was held hostage by her eyes.
“No you don’t Shivaay, you don’t even know the true meaning of love. You are just fond of me. May be this is just a rebound you just want someone to console you after taniya and you are calling it love.” She was misunderstanding my love for rebound. I wanted to tell her this wasn’t rebound I wanted to tell her what I felt for her. I took a step towards her. She moved back. Her eyes were watery bulging with fright she looked at me with expressions I had never seen before in her eyes. I stopped, all the words all the things that I wanted to tell her vanished. I wanted to assure her of my love but not at the cost of losing her trust. I just stood there until she turned away to leave.
“I am always tired always sad and unsatisfied but talking to you brings out the beauty in me , your presence is what I require all the time, even if you say nothing it would be fine I just need to know that you’re there for me always by my side whenever I ask for it. You’re pureness and passionate nature has somehow captivated me I cannot think of anything else. I don`t believe that anybody else can feel what I feel about you now. There are many things I would like to say to you but I don’t know how. It’s in my heart but I am not good with words or expressing but I know whatever it is ..it is strong enough to break all the other bonds that comes in my way. I wasn’t what I am with you when you weren’t around , there is something about your aura that makes the good person inside of me come out , the pure me and leave the real me far behind. The sun shone the same way , the food tasted the same way the light the dark the happiness all was the same but not my heart it felt different congested tired confused sad and hated everything around me even taniya, someone I love , someone close to me my girlfriend was not enough, nothing was enough, my personality wasn’t even enough I have everything I could ask for in the world but there was a part of me missing the days you were gone and I couldn’t realize what was it until you came back. I don’t know what love is I couldn’t even guess what love is, and I still don’t know which name should I give to this feeling but if everywhere I go I talk about you, and that I am ALWAYS wanting to talk to you, and always stalking you , always seeing your pictures , always wanting you around , my every moment my every memory is attached with you .. if this is what you call love then love it is. I might not be familiar with the depths of this feeling as you are I know I have dated many girls its totally acceptable for you to think it isn’t love but I can’t imagine to not have you around . You fill the void that was always present in my life you’re everything to me now and if you’ll leave…my life would be empty even with every best thing in the world. I am obsessed with you, you’re my need now.”
She turned to look at me, no one of these words were the one I had planned to say. I didn’t even know what I was saying. I was just speaking my heart out. She gazed at me but I continued
“I don’t know what you call love but I know the according to all the definitions of love that I have believed on since birth, I love you” I said as a tear rolled down my cheek. I wasn’t crying I didn’t plan to but may be my heart was too afraid to lose her. I just wished will all my might that the emotion I had seen in her eyes that night was true. I wanted to say more but before I could my body felt her warmth against me she held me as tightly as she could while my arms wrapped around her. I so wished for the time to stop. I looked up at the sky while her face still buried in my chest. The stars shone more brightly or may be this was her love that had nourished every inch on my body. Sometimes destiny has other plans for us.
“Stop you are distracting me” she said while writing notes for next class.
“Mission accomplished” I replied while still looking at her.
“Right now my mission Is to complete these notes before the class, so let me work”
“What If I don’t” I said playfully.
“Then you are going to fail me with you as well”
“But you will receive highest grades in subject of love, leave it lets go on a long drive”
“Enough of your cheesy lines and we have class in 10 minutes”
“I don’t want to go in class. Please “
“No Mr Shivaay can`t bunk the class. This one is very important” she said while taking no notice of my pleading face.
“I am important as well, have some fun in life as well miss nerd”
“Let us go” she said while gathering her things to leave. Miss nerd.
People who are able to control their yawning during lectures should be given special medal. After what felt like an eternity the class was over and despite me trying really hard to take miss philosopher on a date she went home but I had to other plans.
“Knock knock” I said right after she answered the phone.
“What an amazing time to play knock knock joke Shivaay” she replied. “knock knock” I asked again.
“What?” she almost shouted. “Open the door its cold outside” it was indeed cold.
“Shivaay what are you doing here” she almost yelled after opening the door. She looked steaming hot even in the night dress as well.
“Came to meet you, I have to adopt these ways because my girlfriend won`t go on a long drive with me” I said while trying to make eye contact. “You are crazy Shivaay, this isn’t safe”
“Come on miss philosopher, girls would kill for getting a boyfriend like me” ok I exaggerated it a little bit but she was also being too boring.
“Really? I wonder what mental issue they might have” she said while smiling.
I could have stared at her for even longer if I wasn’t convinced that she knew karate.
“See you tomorrow and I love you”
The next day in college should officially be marked as THE DAY OF STRUGGLE in history or whatever fancy words they used there. I had spent four hours trying to convince her to accompany me to a party tonight but got a long time table, some free advices and suggestions and title of a careless person in return.
“Miss nerd could you be any fun?” I finally said.
“Mr.Oberoi could you be any responsible?” what was she even doing in philosophy she should be in politics or something.
“Fine I am going alone.” I gave up.
I was not angry but irritated but above all I was in love with her. That’s why I just wanted to lock her in a box and keep with me forever, when she came to me next day.
“Someone is angry.”
“Someone is annoying.” Tit for tat miss philosopher.
“Someone is sorry” she said while looking me straight in the eyes and trying to look sad but she just looked cute. Someone wants to kiss someone. May be she heard that but I haven’t even said that but my eyes had.
“I think I shall go now” nice instinct miss philosopher. But I got a chance after class.
She was walking in the hallway when I pulled her arm towards myself and grabbed her by waist before she could even react. She gave a typical Anika look after coming back to her senses, disapproval gleamed in her eyes. But I decided to ignore it and tried to move a little more closely when she pushed me. I looked at her perplexed.
“This is college Shivaay” she said firmly.
“So what people know we are together?”
“But that doesn’t mean that we forget the décor of college also I don’t think we are ready for this.
“I am and call me when you are too” I literally stomped my foot and left but I knew I won`t be able to stay mad at her for longer.
I loved Anika like I had never loved someone before. We had few differences but love had been winning over those for the past few months. I was still trying to blend her in my lifestyle. All was going well until that day.
“Shivaay I think we should get married now.” She said while her head still on my shoulder and gaze fixed on the stars, as always.
“Marriage? Anika how can we get married now? I am not even settled yet.” I wasn’t ready for any responsibility yet.
“I know it’s a little early but we are together for quite a while now and I am not stopping you from building you career. We will help each other in our careers” she lifted her face from my shoulder and sat in front of me.
“Anika you don’t understand I am not ready to take this responsibility right now. I don’t want to depend on my dad know. I want to open a dance academy of my own. We have to do so much. We can`t let marriage stop us from achieving our goals.”
“Marriage isn’t the problem Shivaay it’s the solution. You help your dad in the business you earn enough for us and am not asking you to depend on you dad. We will achieve our goals but together.”
“No it isn’t that easy and what has happened to you suddenly?” I raised my tone.
“My problem is like that I cannot introduce you to my parents like that. I want them to meet you but they would pressurize us for marriage if I did so. I don’t want to lie to them either.”
“We can explain to Anika. We can`t just destroy our lives like that.” I probably should have chosen different words but I didn’t mean that.
“You think marrying me is going to destroy your life? I had told you earlier that I am not like your TIME-PASS-ACTIVITY” I was left stunned.
“I never thought I would have to listen that. I don’t know why I loved you I regret the day I met you” I don’t know from where it all came but it just did. A tear rolled down her cheeks. She was struggling with words I could tell.
“Me too” and she left from there. I know I could have handled that situation better she wasn’t wrong too but that’s the point she needs to understand that I am not wrong either. Don’t worry Shivaay she will call… I tried to comfort myself but she didn’t. She didn’t talk to me even in college; she didn’t even look at me once. I decided to talk to her but she turned me down. I wanted to shout at her that this wasn’t my fault entirely but still I wanted to say sorry but I decided to let her do what she wants and not talk to her either. i knew she will talk to me tomorrow for sure; not matter how angry she is she can`t stop herself from wishing me on my birthday. But she didn’t; she didn’t come I was looking at the door till the arrival of last guest but she didn’t came. So her ego was bigger than my love. If she wasn’t interested in this relationship why should I bother? i was tired of explaining her anyways. I allowed alcohol to be my best friend for the night and explained everything to it. I didn’t knew what time it was or what was going on I only remember that I called her and said everything that I couldn’t even say to myself about her. But that’s the specialty of alcohol it makes you do things you will never think of doing while being sober. I don’t know what happened after but
“Shivaay Shivaay” I could hear someone calling me from distance. I tried to open my eyes but the hangover was making it difficult for me. I finally managed to open my eyes. My head was pounding I held it with both of my hands. Finally after sometime I was able to open my eyes and see rudra.
“Shivaay wake up” he looked like someone has sucked all of the blood from his body.
“Shivaay …..Anika….. She is in hospital…… she was rushed to the hospital last night with a stroke and subsequent brain hemorrhage” I felt like something hit my head. I couldn’t feel my body. I couldn’t feel my heartbeat. Everything around me seemed very strange. Rudra took me to the hospital. I wish I could explain how I reached but I cannot I had no idea how I managed to reach there.
“How did it happen aunty” I heard rudra asking her mother.
“I don’t know she was standing in front of me ready to go to Shivaay`s birthday she said, she was late due to an exam she had to take, when she got a call after which she went to her room and I found her like this” she began sobbing again. I wanted to scream I wanted to cry but I was unable to utter a word even. My lips felt numb. Everything around me went black; I could see her walking towards me I wanted to grab her I wanted to never leave her. I was ready to accept any punishment but this.
“So they ask me what love is. Love is freedom it is giving the person the person you love the freedom to be who they are, to be themselves. Love is giving the person freedom of ideas and freedom to practice more ideas, love doesn’t just depend on happily ever after but being in love and experiencing is , indeed, a happy ending ” he closed the notebook as he wrote last few lines.
“Look I am not irresponsible anymore miss philosopher I have completed it. Now you can`t taunt Me.” he said to her while she lay before him peacefully. “In fact I should start taunting you know you have been sleeping for the past 3 months, how lazy” he said while adjusting her blanket “ but I still love you; you were right every love story has a happy ending and I have lived mined” he said while caressing her hair.
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