Here is the previous chapter : Chapter 3
Life can look simple yet be complicated. Ragini’s life also looked simple but it was tangled to the extent she could not resolve it. Resolve it from damn 15 years. “Hey love happy birthday” she unlocked her room door hearing to Sheena over the phone.
“Love you Sheen. I so miss you” said she controlling her emotions. “I wish we could celebrate your birthday here. But you know Kanika aunty insisted so I have let you go to her. Otherwise you know we have never missed your birthday” said Sheena sad.
“Yeah if it wasn’t for mom I would have been with you there” said Ragini as she collapsed on the bed. “Listen. I have to go mom is calling she has made my favorite chocolate cake” said Ragini and disconnected the call. She walked to the hall.
The noise which always broke her into pieces broke into her ear drums. Shadows moved over her. She did not had the courage to look in that direction. She walked to the freezer and placed a choco pastry in the tray and walked back to her room.
“Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to me” she sang and cut the pastry with the spoon and placed it in her mouth to control her pain and smiled as the tear tripped her eye. “Wish I could be with people whom I want to live with” she said staring the ceiling.
She held her guitar which she had hid below her bed.
All those days watching from the windows
All those years outside looking in
All that time never even knowing
Just how blind I have been
She sang her favorite song closing her eyes. In the hall her parents fought and ignored that there was their daughter inside her room crying over her fate that her parents forgot her birthday. It wasn’t new to her. She has always ran from any kind of attachments due to this. If anyone had stayed with her for her running away nature it was Sheena.
But Ragini could never share her pain with Sheena though. She never knew why Sheena could not get that confidence though she has committed completely in the friendship.
Cutting through my dream I sat up on the bed. I still could feel her sobs. After I missed Ragini that day in mall I have drown into a greater grief. As I grab my faith on my fate it snaps me harder. Now I don’t know where am I heading in my life.
I panted for breath like I was breathless for ages. Suddenly I felt a need to talk to Shanaya. I grabbed my phone and saw that thread of message where still her message ‘Bye’ was the last message.
I took deep breaths to cool my heart and mind. But my face burned. I was about to step in for another disappointment. And I don’t know why my brain wasn’t stopping me from doing this.
It did not stop me from running behind Ragini in that mall like a maniac. It did not control itself from breaking itself into pieces again.
It did not stop me from texting Shanaya that day. It did not stopped me to feel worst when she did not care to talk to me after that day.
Neither it is stopping me now that I feel like talking to her for the last time. Gathering all the courage I pressed on the send on the screen. It took a second or few to show the sent mark to be visible below it.
“Now I that I see you” she finished the last line and heard the buzzing of her phone. Placing the guitar aside she grabbed the cellphone and unlocked it. As she pressed on the new message notification she saw Sanskar’s name flashing. As her eyes moved down she found the new message on the thread.
She did not accept it ever but she surely missed him. And she did not knew whether it was good to feel that way. But has her heart listened to her ever. ‘I’m sorry for being a jerk that day. One last time please” she don’t know why she felt his genuine guilt.
She knew it was her fault too that she lied to him as she did not wanted to meet him that day. She could have simply told the truth to avoid the complex situation but as usual she had to screw up.
He had been always so understanding so she should have trusted him with the truth. The truth of her insecurities. Letting a deep sigh she typed the message ‘I’m sorry too for telling a lie that day. I couldn’t meet you just like that’ she pressed on the send on the screen after struggling a bit.
She could feel his smile. ‘All right. So let me start it from the beginning. Hi my name is Sanskar Maheshwari. And don’t worry I don’t want to know your name. It’s just that I felt you are not okay. Are you fine?’ she literally felt overwhelmed with his gesture.
I wish I could say that’ she replied. ‘Remember one thing whatever happens. I will be here on the other side waiting for you to share your every little worry’ she smiled madly looking at the phone.
Why are you so sweet?’ she asked. ‘Because I’m not a bitter gourd’ she laughed at his joke. ‘Can I be honest with you in all ways other than my name’ she texted him biting her lower lip.
Of course. I promise I will never ask you any question which will make you uncomfortable. I hope you can trust me’ she nodded her head reading his message.
How to get out of grief?’ she replied. ‘Hmm depends on the situation. Sometimes you have ignore the situation which puts us in grief and sometimes the person who puts us in the grief’ she read his message and her smile widened.
Ignorance will solve the problem?’ she was still confused. ‘Not really. But it will not effect you. Some things are better left untouched and some problems are better left on time’ she could not help but admire his maturity.
You know something?’ she replied to him. ‘Today is my birthday’ she replied after a pause.
Hey happy birthday’ she read his message and it felt so good she could not define the feel. ‘Thank you’ she replied. ‘And I don’t know the reason for your sadness on this special day of yours but I know you will be out of it soon. Life seems difficult but it is not actually. So smile and spread your beautiful smile in the people’s life who value your presence’ she instantly smiled at his thought.
You know you are the best’ she replied wiping her face and feeling the new energy.
Something was bothering her. Wish I could be around her to give her that shoulder to lean to. But I know she isn’t weak. She isn’t weak to accept her defeat.
And you are best that you have the courage to face the things’ I typed and sent it to her.
I was happy that not completely but she recovered. I wondered what might have happened that she was so upset on her birthday.
It’s my birthday. Wont you ask me for my wish?’ I smiled reading her message. ‘Wish I was a star I would have fell to make your wish come true’ I smiled replying her. ‘Such cheesy lines’ I chuckled as I expected the same reply from her.
Jokes apart. I wish all your wish to come true’ I replied her.
My wish is to fulfill your one wish’ that reply from her really stopped my heart beat. ‘Are you sure?’ I replied her. ‘Very much’ I could feel her smile.
Okay. My wish is to hear your voice’ I hope she doesn’t find a jerk in me. I seriously did not wished to look like a jerk to her. If I would have asked her name it would have been against my promise I gave her and if I asked her to meet definitely she would have thought me as a jerk. So I thought she wont mind this request of mine.
I took a deep breath waiting for her reply. Every second looked like ages then. I realized what Einstein said about relativity theorem in a common man language. ‘okay’ I danced on my bed reading her reply.
I can’t believe my luck. Before I could dial my screen flashed her name.
What the hell? I’m surely reach a coma state due to the shock she was giving me one by one.
“Hello” the voice after I placed the phone after receiving the call froze my heart beat. Why is it feeling like it is bleeding. I held my breath to realize that I’m in reality.