Story : Being Me ( Chapter 1 & 2 )
Chapter 1 ( Me )
Sometimes its just you, travelling the road, traversing through different directions, finding new locations, some uphill and some down the hill.
I want someone who cares for me from the core of his heart. Someone who understands me completely even if I don’t tell him anything. Someone who could tie the laces of my shoes. Someone who loves the whole world equally. Someone who doesn’t tag others. Someone who doesn’t rely on me instead one who believes in me. Has faith in me. Someone who guards my actions and my words. Tells me where I am wrong. Makes me see my demons and my own inner self. Someone who loves me not due to my face or my physique (not that I have a perfect figure, still…). Someone who loves me for my qualities, my irrelevant talks, my flaws, my childish side, my incessant blabber. Someone who stands for me. With me through thick and thin. Doesn’t judge me. Listens to me as I talk my heart out.
I am not talking about my love interest, not that I don’t want one, but I am talking about someone who could be my friend, as in a real and best friend.
Why does the word ‘love’ come in picture? You all must be thinking. Hold on. I am not talking about love in that boyfriend girlfriend thing, but about love as general which some of us have for our parents, nature, art, music, dance and the list goes on.
Oh yeah, I blabber a lot. Don’t I? You must have noticed this by now. Haven’t you? If no then you guys probably fall in the category of stupids. Don’t you?
Here I go blabbering again. When will it stop? Oh. Let me put it more seriously.
When the heck will my damn blabbering come to a f**king halt? Oh really? Who am I kidding?
Nothing can come out of me. Talking of myself, you don’t know who am I? Shit. I forgot to introduce myself.
Well I am going to introduce myself. Introduce? I forgot to tell you how much I suck at introductions. I loathe them to the extent that I would kill the blo*dy idiot who introduced the concept of introductions even though I am not interested in violence nor do I want to end up in prison. So….. Where was I?
Yeah. Introduction. Um…I am Aditi Ranyal, a high schooler in none other than Delhi Public School. Nope. Not the one in Delhi but the one in Jammu. Umm..yeah I am in my senior year with two years left to go to this school with little to no friends at all. Okay. Back to the conversation. Really? Okay all right. One sided conversation, happy now.
So as I was saying, I am a high schooler. I am studying sciences with Physical Education as the optional subject. I wanted to take maths instead.
No I am not.
Every nerd says so.
But. I. Am. Not. A. Nerd.
Yeah. I am just a bit wise. I am not praising myself. But you can call someone wise if she doesn’t study at home or at school but does get A’s in school. Okay I study at my tuitions, but that’s just three alternative days in a week. So other than that I don’t study much. Yeah I do read a book or two but mind you those aren’t any common books. Those are novels. Freaking fictional story books which I am f**king restricted to read. Yeah I am not allowed to read story books or any other books other than those black and white school books. Not that they are black and white but they are dull. So I just can’t read any books, except school books, at home or at school or at any other place in this whole goddamn world. But I being the adventurous me, always find one way or another to sneak out and read some books. I just issue those from my school library. That’s why school isn’t too boring.
More about me:
I hate making friends. Though I don’t have many friends. But still there are some people whom I get along with. But with new people, I just freak out. Get nervous. Yeah I am not at all good at socializing. I don’t make the first effort on the conversation until and unless I know the person. Their knowing me or not doesn’t matter. Weird. Right. That I am.
I hate introductions. You probably know that. If you have read the above passages carefully.
I am not a nerd. I have already told so but I am clearing this shit. I am told every time that I am a nerd by none other than my so called friends.
Chapter 2 ( Not again )
Sometimes, its just you, standing in the midst of the road, thinking about all the way you have come, all the pain you have endured, all the humiliations you have faced or ignored.
Just as I thought that I was done with them, they decided to show up. Why? I was in no mood to see them again. They have been doing it all the time. Coming whenever they want and going whenever they feel like.
You must be wondering who are they. They are my so called bunch of friends. I thought that I had enough of them but alas, when am I ever right? I thought they won’t talk to me again but no, here they are asking about my well being. I was wrong. Absolutely wrong.
“Hey, Adi, what’s up?”, he started. She nodded her head seeming to be asking the same question.
“Sky and some birds.”, I said glancing towards the blue sky. Have you ever wondered why the sky appears blue? It appears blue because blue is the only constituent colour of sunlight which scatters the most.
“Very funny, Adi.”, he said.
“No, it isn’t funny,” I replied knowing very well that he intended being sarcastic.
“Not again Adi. You have been like this since a few days.”, Ananya decided to interrupt with her sweetest girly voice. But its not just her voice that I heard. It was a male voice too. And it didn’t cost me much time to recognize it.
“Yeah. Right Piyush. Not again. And what have I been like? Grumpy? You know I am like that only.”, I replied bluntly.
“Not grumpy but moody and ignorant,” he snapped.
Rest of them just ‘hmmed’ in response and nodded their heads as if Piyush was stating a fact.
Really they thought I have been ignorant when they themselves were ignoring me lately. Didn’t they remember the times I turned to them for help or some conversation, they were the ones to ignore me and continue talking with each other. Yeah, that’s what had been happening. Lately, Piyush and Ananya have been together in a relationship and believe me, they never get enough of each other. They are talking among themselves the whole time. So I am left alone in all of my classes. Navya’s in the same class too but, she doesn’t come to school regularly. And whenever she does, she gets in conversation with Piyush and Ananya, often leaving me alone.
“Really, you guys are telling me that I have been ignoring you all,” I said pointing to all of them “and you want me to believe this blo*dy bullshit.”
All of them raised their eyebrows at my comment. As if surprised by my comment. To hell with them even if they are surprised!
I am going my way. They are no one to stop and interrogate me like that.
I shoved them away and went towards the school washrooms. But me being me, the one and only, trouble inviter bumped into him on the way. None other than Siddarth Raina, the master of mischiefs. Hell, now he too will start taunting me.
I have had enough of this crap. Not going to entertain any more.
I made up my mind to ignore him and turned towards the other side.
Manners Aditi. My conscience spoke.
“Sorry….”, we both spoke at the same time. I nodded accepting his apology but my my…. he nodded his head at the same time. Now this was getting weird. Thank goodness any of my so called female friends weren’t here or they would have started some shit like connection between me and him. And I was in no mood to hear anything like that.
I just tried to go through the other side tried to but failed miserably as he stood between the corridor.
“Where do you thing are you going?”, he asked.
The nerve of the jerk to ask me that. As far as I am aware about our Indian constitution, we are free to go anywhere we want except the fact that we can’t trespass. Now I wasn’t trespassing. Was I? Hell no! Then why the heck was he asking me?
I cocked my brow at him. “Excuse me, I can go wherever I want as per what I know about fundamental rights. And its none of your concern to know where the hell am I going.”, I pushed him aside and ran towards the washroom. As soon as I entered the washroom, I locked the door and leaned on it. I don’t know when the tears started flowing down my cheeks. I needed to let it out. All those emotions which were bottled up till now had to come out. And I let them.
Though I know I cried for a few minutes but it felt like hours. I could feel that my eyes were swollen and I felt a bit groggy too.
I exited the washroom and headed towards the water cooler. No one was around. Maybe the bell had rung. I washed my face and contemplated my situation.
I was at loss of friends. Then they suddenly turned up. All the anger came rushing down. I snapped at all of them. I rushed out for fresh air and bumped into him. My supposed ex-crush. And snapped at him when he wasn’t at fault. I felt guilty.
What had I done in the spur of moment? I practically snapped my anger at everyone. Not that they weren’t at fault but still….
I realized my mistake. I am gonna apologize for it and make a fool out of my already dumb self.
Let’s head towards the class. I thought and went towards my classroom. It was a substitution. Thank goodness. Had it been Ms. Andriana, she would have probably given me an ear bleed. But.. I lost the opportunity to bunk the class. I told ya, I am not a nerd. But no use now. I was in the class. I entered the class and saw that my ex-classmates were here. They don’t have the same classes, then what are they doing here? Maybe they were here to spend some time with their old friends. Friends. I sighed and went towards my desk in the third row. I was sitting on the fourth bench. As soon as I sat on my seat, I put my head down on the desk. The seat beside me was occupied by someone just a few seconds later. I looked up to see a pair of black eyes staring at me amusedly. I frowned when I realized who it was. Siddarth. His expression changed too. His jaw locked and his eyes narrowed at me. Whoa! Who else could have the audacity to sit beside me without my permission and be angry the next instant.
I craned my head upwards and straightened my uniform. He was looking at me to speak up. I was going to start with the insults but then guilt washed over me. I had to apologize for snapping at him. I sighed and took a deep breath closing my eyes. But then, all the memories came crashing down. I felt alone, lost and empty. I could feel a tear slide down my right eye. Way to go, he was sitting right next to me and i was crying. I quickly wiped away the tear and opened my eyes to see him holding his handkerchief for me. He saw me crying. Shit.. Now the latest news will be “Nerdy Adi cried…. Such a weakling”.
I didn’t want it to happen, so I raised my brow questioning him about the handkerchief. He opened his mouth to say something but closed it again.
“I am sorry…”, we both said at the same time.
“Ladies first….”, he said.
“I am not a lady for crying out aloud…..”, I said and saw him smirking. I gently smacked his arm and continued…”..What I mean to say is that I am a sixteen year old teen. Not some middle aged lady.”
His mouth formed an ‘O’.
“Yeah..O” I said imitating him. “So you first.”
“I am not a lady nor some sixteen year old teen. So you first.”, he replied.
“I am sorry for snapping at you earlier.” I said.
These are the first two chapters…
The next one will be from Sid’s P.O.V. and when?
Hope u guys will like this as much as u like Friendship or Love..